3Failing to Go on a Diet Also Has Nasty Hormonal Side Effects
While we all know that being fat is bad for you, world-class love handles are hardly a life sentence of diabetes-sprinkled sissiness. Loads of lumberjacks, construction workers and other classic masculine types sport an impressive gut, yet come across as far manlier than the 110-pound Justin Bieber types. As long as a guy doesn't let himself go completely spherical, being a bit fat doesn't make him any less manly. Well, except for the part where said fat starts actively kicking him in the balls.
A recent study says that obesity has yet another item to add to its already impressive gift basket of ailments. It looks like excess lardassitude puts teenage boys at a severe risk of growing up inadequate in the trouser department. Excess fat appears to decrease testosterone levels by up to 50 percent, which is bad news, because said hormone plays every part in keeping men manly: It helps them build muscle and grow their man-parts, and supports both the interest in sex and the ability to have it.
And of course it's not just teenagers. Regardless of your age, the fatter you are, the higher your chances of having low testosterone levels. Given that a whopping one-third of the American male population falls into the obese category, this opens doors to some pretty worrying math: Imagine that each and every one of those guys is running on just half a tank of manliness fuel. That would mean that obesity alone has single-handedly destroyed nearly 17 percent of America's testosterone.
"I just feel sometimes like you only see me as an arm to take blood pressure from, you know?"
Man, diabetes doesn't sound half-bad anymore.
2Hot Water Is a Sperm Killer
Traditionally, baths hold little to no value in the Ledger of Manly. Historical manliness involved avoiding bathing, much to the chagrin of historical womanliness. The only acceptably manly way to fraternize with water is a cold shower, if only because it's the third best cure for an inconvenient boner.
There's a reason behind this: Hot water murders sperm.
Which is why "teabagging" is actually a pretty ironic term.
It's really efficient at it, too -- overt hot-tubbing can and will do its level best to lower sperm count to the point of infertility. Researchers spent three grueling years figuring this out by giving dudes 30-minute hot baths, then taking sperm samples and measuring the sperm count after the baths. All of this was done at the University of California in San Francisco, and there are no jokes to be made on that subject whatsoever.
So what's the deal? Well, we've known for a long time that in order for sperm to develop, it needs temperatures lower than your normal body heat -- that's literally the only reason testicles are placed in insanely vulnerable skin-sacks outside the body. Nevertheless, until this study, there was little to no hard evidence for the adverse effects of hot baths on man parts.
"Leave me alone, it's not funny! They're not supposed to fall off like that!"
But before you jump out of the tub screeching in horror, know that it's not all bad news -- after the researchers fished their test subjects out of the hot tub for the last time, over half of them were able to increase their sperm counts back to something approaching normal.