4Reaching the Highest Level in WoW ... Without Killing Anyone
We've talked before about the biggest dick moves in online multiplayer games, but we have to admit that being a dick was always a part of those games. It's impossible to make any progress in World of Warcraft, for example, unless you're willing to go around murdering things ... or so we thought. It turns out there's a special breed of "pacifist" players who spit in the face of the gaming gods by playing these games in a way they were never intended to be played: as decent, nonsociopathic people.
Take Noor the Pacifist, a WoW player who refused to take any quests that involved killing other players or characters and still managed to reach level 80, the highest possible level at the time. Granted, it took him two years, but getting that far in WoW without using murder is like winning at Monopoly without using money.
And with a person roughly the size of three chickens.
And Noor isn't the only one: Another WoW player named Everbloom managed to reach level 85 just by walking and collecting crafting materials. She just strolled through the game's map for days upon days, gathering the pitiful experience points you get for exploring and picking flowers until she spontaneously became all-powerful. If you did that in real life, all you'd get is fantastic calves.
Others take the obsession with nonviolence even further, like Nondrick, a player in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion who decided to turn himself into a non-player character -- you know, those completely unremarkable villagers who stand in the exact same spot every day and only know how to say one phrase. This guy saw them at some point and said "That's what I wanna be when I grow up."
Yep, that looks like a Nondrick.
Following his self-enforced rules, Nondrick had to eat and sleep regularly and do everything possible to stay away from anything resembling an adventure, settling for a quiet, mundane video game life. He's essentially playing The Sims: Dragon Edition. The experience was so rewarding that the same guy later repeated it for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim with Nondrick's descendant, Nordrick. The craziest part here, of course, is the implication that Nondrick actually reproduced.
Although those sideburns ensure that the bloodline ends here.
3Playing the Same Civilization II Session for 10 Straight Years
Sid Meier's Civilization II is a strategy game where you start out with a small, primitive tribe and slowly build it into a massive modern-day empire. The game was pretty popular in the late '90s, but it slowly faded into relative obscurity as most players moved on to games with better graphics and the ability to voice chat with racist teens. But not all of them did. In June 2012, Reddit user Lycerius revealed that he had been playing the same game of Civ II for almost 10 years, which translates to nearly 4 millenniums for his virtual ant colony.
You see, the game stops keeping track of the score when you reach the year 2020 and declares a winner, because that's as long as the programmers assumed anyone would care to play, but it also gives you the option to continue playing without points for as long as you want (which, in Lycerius' case, meant forever).
So what does his futuristic utopia look like? Well ...
Those skull icons do not mean "utopia."
By the year 3998, huge chunks of the world were covered by irradiated swampland, the ice caps had melted 20 times over, 90 percent of the world population had died from famine or nuclear attacks and the entire planet was locked in a perpetual war between three super-nations that lasted 1,700 years. It's like a completely different game, with a story that's somewhere between 1984 and Idiocracy.
Also, bear in mind that Lycerius wasn't intentionally trying to create the most nightmarish scenario possible -- it just turned out that way, because apparently a civilization was never meant to last this long.
"Glee has just been renewed for 1,000 more seasons."
When Sid Meier (of Sid Meier's ... fame) learned about this, his response was basically "We didn't know. We didn't know." The original Reddit post went viral and inspired an entire community where others can share possible solutions to the apocalyptic scenario, as well as stories and fan art based on it. Lycerius even posted his save file, and within hours, another Reddit user was able to clear the pollution ... in "only" 102 years.
We say print this guy's post and keep it in a vault somewhere, just in case.