#3. Saints Row 2: The Giant Bunny Doll Buried in the Sea
Saints Row 2 is a sandbox crime game, very much in the vein of Grand Theft Auto, if Grand Theft Auto let you run over civilians while dressed as Santa Claus. Sandbox games consist of vast worlds that the player can explore, making them ideal for hiding Easter eggs -- Saints Row 2, however, gives you the whole damn bunny.
You see, while exploring the area around the prison island, you may come to a smaller island containing nothing but a sign with an arrow pointing out to sea. If you jump on your watercraft and ride in that direction, you'll find ... another island with an arrow pointing in a different direction.
Is it an extremely elaborate version of the Konami Code?
Repeat the process and you'll find a third island and a third sign. At this point, few people would blame you if you said "Fuck this" and got back to the main game, but if you're persistent and/or bored enough, you'll eventually reach a final island with several arrows. Then the island disappears, and something starts rising out of the sea. Something massive.
So, you see, when we said that thing about giving you the whole bunny ...
... we meant it literally.
There's an underwater sea giant somewhere who doesn't know how to take care of his toys.
Unfortunately, you can't climb up it and dive off its ear like the world's most adorable diving board -- like most things in this game, the only thing you can do is shoot it, which will make it fall over and vanish into nothing, so maybe it was just a hallucination brought on by the same crazy part of your brain that made you follow all those signs.
Lay off the absinthe, dude.
Or not, because in Saints Row: The Third, guess what you'll find in the harbor:
Dear God, don't turn your back to it, you fool.
Yup, somebody dredged him up and brought him ashore. That, or he dragged himself out of the ocean, for revenge.
#2. Star Fox: The Outer Dimensional Slot Monster
Star Fox was one of the first Super Nintendo games to feature 3-D graphics, and also the first game to feature anthropomorphic space pilot animals fighting a monkey emperor, probably. If you're an expert Star Fox player (or, like, you've looked at the map screen for five seconds), you already knows there's a secret Black Hole level. However, it turns out there's another, even more secret and completely batshit crazy level that isn't even shown on the map, so most people will blissfully go through their lives never knowing about it.
To reach it, you must go to the Hard Asteroid Belt and destroy a greenish-gray asteroid that will release a giant space bird. Now you have to fly into the giant space bird.
Once you do that, you'll be thrown into a warping and waving field of stars and planets. Planets with faces. That are grinning at you.
What the literal flying fuck, Nintendo?
The level isn't especially hard: The only enemies here are sheets of paper that float onscreen and fold into paper airplanes, and ... whatever these other things are.
The real challenge is playing through the level without losing your lunch.
When you think it can't possibly get any weirder, a giant slot machine flies in front of you as the music changes to "When the Saints Go Marching In." This is the boss. The boss is a huge slot machine in space. You beat it by shooting its lever and randomly getting three 7s, which can take anywhere from 10 seconds to all year, depending on how nice the game feels like being.
When you finally do score a jackpot, it spills a bunch of gold and silver coins and self-destructs ... but then it's over, right? Please? Nope. Here's where this level becomes truly disturbing. Unlike the Black Hole level, which would at least let you resume the normal game, this one never ends. After you beat the slot machine, the credits will fly by, ending with a scrambled "The End" while enemies fly onscreen.
You can try to unscramble the letters by shooting at them, but they'll just undescramble themselves again. Your only hope to leave this place is to let the enemies kill you, but even then, that just sends you back to the beginning of the level. So you're trapped here forever, and presumably the monkeys now rule the universe.
#1. Diablo: The Secret Cow and Secret Pony Levels
The Diablo games are about killing Satan, so as you can imagine, the enemies are going to be things like demons and dragons and ... cows? Hordes of bipedal, axe-wielding cows?
You're the soon-to-be-trampled guy at the center.
The "explanation" for this is that when the first Diablo game came out, a bizarre rumor started going around claiming that if you clicked repeatedly on a specific cow found outside of town, you could reach an all-cow level. It was just one of those stupid things bored kids come up with to make their friends waste entire afternoons clicking on cows. Diablo's creators at Blizzard actually went out of their way to point out that there was no cow level in Diablo ... and then they included one in Diablo II.
And that was the day when nerds learned that if they bitch enough, anything can happen.
In order to reach it, you have to beat the main game once and then combine two specific items to create a portal. Step into the portal and you'll find yourself in a large meadow, being chased by dozens upon dozens of killer cows. Their leader is a powerful bovine warlock called the Cow King, and as long as you don't kill him, you can keep coming back to the Secret Cow Level to collect items for the normal game.
Or for your own sandwich shop.
Even if you kill the Cow King, though, that's not the last of him. Fast forward 13 years to Diablo III, where you actually encounter the Cow King's ghost -- he will deny the existence of another Cow Level, but we're not falling for that one again. If you gather some items and combine them into a staff, a portal will open that will lead you into th-
That's Whimsyshire, the Secret Pony Level, a magical place in Diablo III that is filled with rainbows, happy clouds and pink teddy bears that you can violently slaughter. We give up, Blizzard. We just give up.
For more video game shenanigans from Codie, visit her site at Codiekitty.com.
For more Easter Eggs to pay attention to, check out 7 Insane Easter Eggs Hidden in Movies and TV Shows and 10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out 4 Crucial Rules of End Zone Celebration Etiquette