Chances are you've heard someone, probably your girlfriend, mother, sister or lady probation officer, breathlessly praise the glories of Pinterest. "It changed my life!" they say, followed by a gurgled orgasm noise and a swift, moist exit. With 20 million monthly visitors to the site, Pinterest is now the fastest growing social media site ever -- faster than Facebook, faster than Twitter. Maybe you've moseyed over to Pinterest to see what the hubbub was about, only to be crushed under a tidal wave of random thumbnails of cookies, clothes and crafts made from repurposed toilet paper rolls.
If you're confused, and you will be if you look long enough, Pinterest is basically a virtual "vision board" -- and a vision board is a poster that you paste magazine cutouts expressing your personality and hopes and wishes onto. There was a time when only aspiring kidnappers were allowed to use magazine cutouts to express their hopes and wishes but, you know, OBAMA. Thanks to Pinterest, women (and a tiny number of men, but we'll get to them in a minute) from all over the world are virtually "pinning" their "Pinterests" to their "pinboards" via "the Pinternet." So far, so good? Pinterrific.
Then other people are free to share your pinned recipes, crafts, inspirational photos, etc. on their boards, and so on, at a rate of several billion times a second (probably). Got it? OK, now here's where it gets weird. For instance, you're probably wondering ...
5Are These Moms Really Awesome, or Insane?
The pink explosion above is a Pinterest user's birthday party ... for a 2-year-old. Did your mom throw you birthday parties when you were a kid? Did they look like that? Or this:
No? Hmmm, that's weird. Why didn't your parents throw you a themed celebration with coordinating invitations, decorations, seven courses of snacks, games and $50 goody bags for your first birthday? Was it because they hated you?
Yes, if love is measured by the amount of time you put into Barbie hair detangler recipes and hand-sewing baby dresses out of pillowcases, then Pinterest mothers are the most loving mothers of all. No matter what your picture of domestic perfection is, it doesn't hold a candle to these ladies. Hey, did your parents ever make your Halloween costumes? Not if you grew up in the '80s. Parents of the '80s were much more interested in smothering their offspring than winning the Oscar for Most Creative Sewing Chops. But if Pintermoms are to be believed, Halloween is a whole new ballgame today:
How about your lunches? Surely these pictures of lovingly crafted bento lunchboxes will bring back a rush of sweet memories from elementary school:
Mmmm, just like mom used to make ... if she loved you.
Not that there's anything wrong with moms pouring hours of love into their kids' rooms, costumes, parties, lunches, every waking moment, etc. To each their own. And hey, if you want to dress your sleeping baby up as a huge sushi roll ...
Wait a second. Just how much spare time do these people have? We guess that brings us to your next question ...