#3. Traffic Barrel Monsters
Via Herald Sun
We've all been there, waiting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, already late to meet the probation officer, looking at the orange and white traffic barrels on the side of the road and wondering if they'd ever repair the damage you did months before in the incident that now requires you to visit a probation officer fortnightly. Most of us take a look at those barrels and think "flattened candy corns." College student Joseph Carnevale looked at them and saw an angry barrel monster hitching a ride. So, he made one and stuck it out by the street:
"Alright, you can hitch. But only if you promise not to devour my family."
The image went viral locally because, you know. Look at it. It's a 10-foot-tall tiny-waist monster with muscleman legs looking for a ride. No one can fit him in their car! He's going to wait forever! Except not really, because the police thought those barrels were a threat to public safety, and Carnevale was charged with vandalism. By then it was too late. He had found his calling. Lady Barrel Monster was next:
Wait, is she a construction worker or a hockey goalie?
The fact that you could drive a minivan between her legs is gravy. She was followed by Barrelosaurus, the dinosaur up top there. And then, this ... thing ...
We'd say it was a Spore monster, but it's not shaped like a cock.
Yeah, so he's slowly going insane.
#2. Turning Soviet Statues into Superheroes
Don't get us wrong. We here at Cracked are as much about superheroes as the next guy, if not more so. But there's a fine line between painting your world in the colors of justice and just being a dick. At least that's what Russian officials thought when an anonymous Bulgarian artist turned a Soviet era war monument from this:
We would watch the hell out of that movie.
Maaaaybe if the artist had just stuck to Superman, the Joker, Wolverine, Captain America and, for the sake of inclusion, Aquaman, everything would have been cool. But no, they had to include Santa Claus, Ronald McDonald holding a beer and Robin Tebowing it out, just to piss people off. And the Soviet flag was repainted to represent the Stars and Stripes, probably because the artist didn't have enough blue paint to make a Confederate flag. And a swastika just would have been silly.
Below the statue was the only clue to its meaning, the phrase "In step with the times." Below that was the throng of tourists who now suddenly wanted their pictures taken with the coolest street art since Banksy vacationed on the West Bank. Upon seeing the desecration, Moscow officials chuckled heartily and wagged their vodka-soaked fingers. Just kidding, they were pissed. So Bulgaria scrubbed the superheroes clean and got them back to being Soviet soldiers. And they wait there to this day, hoping for another moment when they can go from Cold War relics to a plucky, ragtag group of mythical beings liberating who knows what.
We're pretty sure they drank black ink and wrote that in urine.
#1. Yarn Bombers
Carrying picket signs and getting Tased aren't the coziest forms of protest out there. Some people would rather just stay home with their needles and knit away society's problems. Sound crazy? You better believe it. They call themselves yarn bombers, possibly to add some badassery to the art of needling wool into afghans and baby booties. Some of the bombers have just run out of people to give their crappy scarves to, so they turned to wrapping their work around street signs and parking meters.
Others, like a woman who calls herself Olek, are full-on textile artists who get big time shows in artsy places. But that didn't stop her from giving the Wall Street bull the nice big pink and purple full body sweater you see above. Or this:
That person died four minutes later.
Technically, yarn bombing is considered as much an act of vandalism as spray painting a wall or peeing in public spaces, but come on. It's hard to arrest someone for crocheting stuff when a pair of kid-sized safety scissors can undo all the damage for you. Plus, the guys in charge would be arresting their own girlfriends, wives, mothers and daughters, which is only fun if you hate them to death. Finally, look at this:
Like anyone is going to get arrested for that, ever.
It is physically impossible to be angry while looking at this. We've done tests.
For more acts of badassery, check out 8 Awesome Cases of Internet Vigilantism and 9 Acts of Vigilantism Straight Out of a Comic Book.
If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The Truth About Ambition.
And stop by LinkSTORM to discover which columnist is actually Banksy.
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