#3. Part Zebra, Part Pony (Or Anything Else)
Is that ... is that mule wearing novelty pantyhose? No? Those are supposed to be his actual legs?
Hahahahaha, look at that thing! Look at his stripes, abruptly ending at the thigh! He looks so fake that even he can't believe it. James Cameron would've rejected him from Avatar for looking like far too silly a mix of two species. Yet he is completely real and absolutely awesome, and has a kickass name to go with his peculiar visage. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the zonkey:
He's clocking in at nearly three times the legal limit for adorable.
You're probably familiar with the zebra, the most flamboyant member of the equine family. You might not know that it is, in fact, every bit as pimp as its striped coat implies. What we're saying is that the zebra loves his ladies. Also, he's not too particular when it comes to race: In fact, both male and female zebras can and absolutely will get down with pretty much all of their horsey relatives. This has produced some extremely curious offspring, their strange coloration only matched by their ridiculous names: Apart from the zonkey (zebra father, donkey mother), there's the zedonk (donkey dad, zebra mom) and zebrass (an alternate name for that extra mile in humiliation).
However, zebras have no concept of human language, and these zebroid hybrids are actually considered pretty awesome among their kin. They are effortlessly able to live among wild zebras and donkeys alike, and being sterile hybrids with no risk for procreation, they presumably have some pretty wild Saturday nights.
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They can score blow within hours of their birth.
Unsurprisingly, humanity has paid attention to the zebra's ability and willingness to create these various zebroids. Even less surprisingly, this has been put to use. This means that you can totally ride a zonkey:
And the breeders have ventured beyond zebra-donkey variations, too: There are any number of zebroids out there, from zebra-horse (zorse!) ...
Why not hebra?
... to zebra-ponies (zonies!):
There has even been a recorded case of a zebra getting lucky with a diminutive Shetland pony, the result of which has been dubbed the Shetbra:
Because "Zebland" sounds like a place Sacha Baron Cohen might pretend to be from.
What are the practical advantages of owning a tiny zebra-horse or zebra-pony instead of a regular one? Who cares? Look at it!