3Part Zebra, Part Pony (Or Anything Else)
Is that ... is that mule wearing novelty pantyhose? No? Those are supposed to be his actual legs?
Hahahahaha, look at that thing! Look at his stripes, abruptly ending at the thigh! He looks so fake that even he can't believe it. James Cameron would've rejected him from Avatar for looking like far too silly a mix of two species. Yet he is completely real and absolutely awesome, and has a kickass name to go with his peculiar visage. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the zonkey:
He's clocking in at nearly three times the legal limit for adorable.
You're probably familiar with the zebra, the most flamboyant member of the equine family. You might not know that it is, in fact, every bit as pimp as its striped coat implies. What we're saying is that the zebra loves his ladies. Also, he's not too particular when it comes to race: In fact, both male and female zebras can and absolutely will get down with pretty much all of their horsey relatives. This has produced some extremely curious offspring, their strange coloration only matched by their ridiculous names: Apart from the zonkey (zebra father, donkey mother), there's the zedonk (donkey dad, zebra mom) and zebrass (an alternate name for that extra mile in humiliation).
However, zebras have no concept of human language, and these zebroid hybrids are actually considered pretty awesome among their kin. They are effortlessly able to live among wild zebras and donkeys alike, and being sterile hybrids with no risk for procreation, they presumably have some pretty wild Saturday nights.
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They can score blow within hours of their birth.
Unsurprisingly, humanity has paid attention to the zebra's ability and willingness to create these various zebroids. Even less surprisingly, this has been put to use. This means that you can totally ride a zonkey:
And the breeders have ventured beyond zebra-donkey variations, too: There are any number of zebroids out there, from zebra-horse (zorse!) ...
Why not hebra?
... to zebra-ponies (zonies!):
There has even been a recorded case of a zebra getting lucky with a diminutive Shetland pony, the result of which has been dubbed the Shetbra:
Because "Zebland" sounds like a place Sacha Baron Cohen might pretend to be from.
What are the practical advantages of owning a tiny zebra-horse or zebra-pony instead of a regular one? Who cares? Look at it!
2Camas: Smaller, Furrier, Friendlier Camels
Friendlier and woollier than a camel but stronger and hardier than a llama, the cama is what we got when researchers at Dubai's Camel Reproduction Center were bored one day. In other news, there is an actual institution called the Camel Reproduction Center.
Presumably tired of all the camel-on-camel action, the experts at the center were curious to see whether two species that had evolved separately for 30 million years could still reproduce. Of course, they couldn't just put a llama and a camel in the same pen and blast out some Barry White, because the mother was set to be a 150-pound llama and the father, well, he was roughly six times her size.
Use your imagination.
After some no doubt awkward artificial insemination shenanigans, the world's first cama was born in 1998 and was given the name Rama. The team behind his existence has since successfully helped three other camas into the world:
If you don't want to hug all these little guys right now, you might be dead inside.
This trio is called Kamilah, Jamilah and Rocky, and while that's fine and all, we'll never know how the research team managed to miss the opportunity to name them Lama, Ding and Dong. Come on, people, it was right there.
All four camas fall somewhere between their parents in size, and somehow manage to be 800 percent cuter than either side of their heritage would suggest. They have the strength and stamina of camels, but thankfully lack their notoriously vile temper and tendency to gob projectile spitbombs at anyone and everyone.
Camels: Because the desert wasn't unpleasant enough already.
Add in the ability to produce soft, valuable wool and a relatively friendly temperament, plus the fact that there's no uncomfortable hump that will mess with your ride, and you have pretty much the ultimate steed. Although only a handful of camas exist at the moment, the Camel Reproduction Center has no plans to leave them a curiosity project. They're out to make a new species here, people -- a plan that isn't exactly hindered by the fact that unlike most such hybrid creatures, the cama is not sterile.