Cracked Round-Up: Hog Wrestling Edition

Every great corporation has its own internal mythos, based around the legends of its founding and key bits of office culture. Google employees go to Burning Man every year, Twitter employees enjoy beer on tap and here at Cracked we have hog wrestling. We know what you're thinking, and it isn't just some unthinkably cruel bloodsport designed to amuse capricious crowds. Hog wrestling is how we settle all internal disputes, professional conflicts and the succession of power. The rules are simple: each combatant must wrestle a hog of no less than three hundred pounds to the ground and pin it for a full ten seconds. To date, no Cracked employee has succeeded in besting his or her hog. But we've developed an elegant method for settling ties- four bullet Russian Roulette.


Are you a single man looking for some insights into the minds of single women? Ian Fortey will show you just how futile your quest is. But fret not, for David Wong's look at the moments that make gaming worth it will provide all the emotional support you need. Next, peer into the dark side of the 1980s with Soren Bowie's investigation of missing sitcom moms and vent some steam at Christina's list of people who need to get out of the way. Then gain a little faith in mankind by reading Gladstone's list of brilliant movies by bad directors and promply lose it with Brockway's look at sci-fi dystopias we've built for animals. Amp your paranoia up by reading Bucholz's take on the Linkedin breach and wind down as Dan brings you terrible websites by people who should know better.

FACE OF TERROR
The 7 Most Terrifying Mouths in Nature
We've considered marketing this article as an appetite suppressant.


Notable Comment: "I had an ex-boyfriend who was afraid of penguins and I used to laugh at his (seemingly) ridiculous phobia. No more."

Don't feel bad BrunnieLocks24, the penguins had us fooled for years. But no longer.



HONEST MAGIC
6 Mind-Blowing Special Effects You Won't Believe Aren't CGI
If you're the unique mixture of crazy and brilliant that makes a cinema legend, CGI only slows you down.


Notable Comment: "Just looking at that photo of Tom Cruise on the top of that building gave me vertigo."

Yeah MintCondition, it turns out incredible bravery is a fringe benefit of batshit insanity. Who'd have thought?



UNFINISHED TALES
6 Famous News Stories That Forgot to Tell You the Best Part
Because cable news networks and the Internet aren't that great on follow-through.


Notable Comment: "I'm not normally a conspiracy type, but I thought the timing of the Toyota "scandal" was pretty convenient for Detroit."

Darth_Fat_Guy, Detroit can't even successfully conspire to run a city. Conspiracies aren't really in their wheelhouse right now.



WHY STUFF SUCKS
5 Scientific Explanations Behind Everyday Nuisances
We like to make your lives a little easier here at Cracked, and we almost never include one morsel of bad information just to fool you all.


Notable Comment: Yes, about forty different commenters, we realize that bowl was full of seeds. Apparently the stock photo people smoke terrible weed.



BADASS TRUTH
The 6 Coolest Things Said by Soldiers before Killing People
Witty rejoinders are one field where reality has an absolute edge over Hollywood.


Notable Comment: "cracked; turning straight men gay with the debauchery of overwhelming manliness since the invention of the internet."

Only about a third of this sentence is accurate.





Today's Topic
4 Tiny Creatures that Prove Camping isn't Worth It
Never go outside.


YOU YOU YOU!
27 Science Lessons as Taught by Famous Video Games
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, Awesome Features of Future Video Game Systems, Rejected Post Credits Scenes from Superhero Movies, Rejected Versions of Great Album Covers and Inside the Cabinets/Drawers/etc. of Famous Characters..

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