4Snow Vehicles With Aircraft Features
You're already a grown-ass man on a sled. You look ridiculous. Why not slap some kite wings on there and fly away from the shame? At least it would be fun as hell, right?
Look at his face. Look at that grim, determined expression, completely oblivious of that goofy athletic-sock hat flapping in the breeze behind him. This man is not having something so trite as "fun," no -- he has only gone kite-sledding to advance the noble endeavors of all mankind. God bless you, sir.
Skis for skiing, wings for breaking your goddamn neck.
And you, noble pioneer: We salute your stoic-faced determination. No, don't salute back. We understand. You have to hold on to those wings with your bare hands for some reason.
Nothing says "thrilling" like being one well-placed rock away from castration.
And you, esteemed pilo-
OK, no. Listen, somebody has to be having fun on one of these damn things. If you're not, then just get off. It's our turn. And we'll show you how it's fucking done: Our "whee"s shall vibrate the oceans themselves.
Didn't James Bond escape from these people at one point?
Oh, holy shit! Never mind! You guys can keep that one. What happens if he wipes out? He has no choice but to go straight into that open propeller behind him. That guy doesn't even look like he was supposed to be attached to that thing. It looks more like he went out for a nice between-war ski session when that screaming metal Beholder with a propeller for a face started chasing him down a mountain, leaving him no choice but to latch on to its arms and shred the rad -- shred the rad for his very life!
3Reinventing the Airplane
We get the concept, that two massive jet turbines could substitute the lifting power of wings with sheer engine force. And we can also concede that this design, goofy as it is, might be a predecessor of the modern jet. But try as we might to see the noble face of scientific advancement here, all we can make out is two flying toilet paper roll holders.
And also, if your lift and thrust is being entirely supplied by two giant turbines -- why keep the little propeller down there? Surely it's just to spite birds at that point.
If enough propellers are smashed together at great speed, then propulsion is created.
Ah, we see: Because of the scientific property of propellers to be "really neat."
Well, if three propellers are good, then four propellers must be gooder:
"I can't see a damn thing."
Yeah! That's so cool! Those two propellers in the back aren't even doing anything; they're totally free to just be awesome, all the time! Oh man, what if you could like flip a propeller sideways and make it really, really giant and-
OK, somebody's either officially fucking with Popular Science, or their new tech editor that year was Mark Twain.