The 4 Strangest Things Nobody Tells You About Life in China 5 Slapstick Failures by Modern Military Commanders 5 Things I Learned as an Anonymous TSA Blogger

Cracked Round-Up: Zombie Apocalypse Scare Edition

We're proud here at Cracked, but we're not too proud to ride that sweet face-eating naked-man train to Moneytown. When that crazy, salted-up nude guy went all face-cannibal on some poor hobo, half the Internet saw dollar signs. But now, nearly a week later, the story's started to feel played out. Which means we can look forward to seeing references to it bubble up in pop-culture, t-shirts and bumper stickers for months to come.


Interested in becoming the world's worst life coach? Seanbaby's column on irresponsible ways to diagnose problems will get you started. If you feel like thanking us for the help, please read Bucholz's column on the worst possible Thank-You Card first. Next, take Christina's much needed refresher on when to shut the hell up and read Soren Bowie's dissection of weird trends in old album covers. Then hear John Cheese lecture gamers (including himself) on the things that won't change about gaming while Brockway looks at the greatest worlds in science fiction. Last, wind down while Dan O'Brien gives Cracked's official response to the face-eating bath salts zombie epidemic.



STRESS FROM NOWHERE
5 Seemingly Harmless Things That are Stressing You Out
It's the little things in life that kill your heart.


Notable Comment: "Anyone else think that maybe the wires attached to the guy's head in public contributed to his stress? "

That's why they only chose hard-core Techno-Fetishists for the study, Yessum.



SONIC PLAGIARISM
7 Famous Musicians Who Stole Some of their Biggest Hits
Imitation is the sincerest form of intellectual property theft.


Notable Comment: "Thank God I pirated all this shit. I hate people who steal music. . . . Wait."

BabyPunter3000's just come face to face with the ugly side of piracy.



SCARY SCIENCE
The 7 Most Terrifying Archaeological Discoveries
Pro Tip: Pick another article to read before bed.


Notable Comment: "None of those so-called "ways to kill a vampire" are true. You have to beat them with their own skulls"

GabePuratekuta knows how to fend off supernatural enemies.



REAL FANTASY
6 Fictional Places You Won't Believe Actually Exist (Part 2)
If you have millions of dollars for travel and remodeling, you can stay a child well into your eighties.


Notable Comment: "If you hadn't told me they were real, I would have assumed that those Chinese landscapes were CGI."


Maybe they are CGI apeloverage. Maybe God is a robot.



FAUX HEALTH
5 Ridiculous Medical Myths You Probably Believe
What you don't know but think you know might kill you. But hey, something has to!


Notable Comment: "I got a concussion following a car accident a few years ago and I got the best sleep of my life for a couple of days after. I would pretty much just wake up to eat and use the restroom. Felt wonderful."

lizzie_bee has given us a brilliant idea for a low cost travel agency.





BriTANick
The Most Awkward Guys-Night-In Ever
Behold, the cruelest of God's curses.


YOU YOU YOU!
23 Embarrassing Secret Tattoos of Famous Fictional Characters
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, If Video Game Characters Could Switch Powers, Stuff That Must Have Happened Between Movie Scenes, Subliminal Messages We'd Like to Add to Everyday Life and Tiny Changes That Would Ruin Great Websites.
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