Even if you're not really into cars, everyone has a dream vehicle. If it's not the standard answer like "classic Mustang" or "Bugatti Veyron," then maybe it's, say, the Batmobile, or a car that flies.
Of course, the problem with getting too fanciful with your automotive dreams is that the really crazy stuff would never be street legal. Or would it? After all, at this moment you can buy ...
9A Goddamn Batmobile With Working Turbine Engine
Oh, hell yes.
As roughly 120 percent of Cracked readers are dedicated Batman fans, chances are you're looking at the epitome of every automotive fantasy you've ever had. And it's easy to understand why -- having the Batmobile as your personal ride would improve your life in every conceivable way. Messed up parallel parking and scratched another car? Who would raise hell at the guy who drives the Batmobile? Late for work? "I'm sorry, I had a hard time finding a parking space for my Batmobile." Get charged with a crime? Pointing at your Batmobile grants you an instant pardon.
"Sir, we're willing to turn a blind eye to all that smack you've been smuggling in exchange for one five-minute ride."
And the people at Putsch didn't set out to make just any old movie replica, either. They actually went as far as building it with an actual turbine-powered engine, a feat that, incidentally, even the "actual" movie Batmobile didn't really have. Powered by a military-grade Boeing turbine engine taken from a drone helicopter, the Batmobile can reach speeds of up to 180 mph, and could probably be much faster if it wasn't for the fact that the cool design creates a lot of drag and makes it a bitch to handle at high speeds.
Wait, they stole an engine from one of the Joker's rides? Oh, SNAP!
The creator of this masterpiece, Batman admirer and possible superhero gadgeteer Casey Putsch, took to his work with admirable dedication. He never actually knew much about turbine engines before the project -- he learned how to rebuild the turbine engine from scratch, all in order to achieve maximum levels of Batmanism. Mission accomplished, Casey. Mission accomplished.
Now, if you'd ever need to go undercover while still packing the same horsepower, you could go for the ...
Imagine you're stuck at a traffic light with your VW Beetle when some jerkass comes along and starts revving his fancy sports car engine at you. He's being as obnoxious as he possibly can, clearly goading you into a race so he can humiliate your unassuming, fuel-efficient ride and impress his date at your expense.
Then the light goes green, you fire up your goddamn jet engine and disappear into the horizon, leaving behind a stench of burned rubber and mildly scorched sports car owner.
"Sorry about your hair. Shouldn't have bought a convertible."
The Jet Beetle is exactly what it says on the box: a sensible, unassuming new model Volkswagen Beetle ... that has a giant-ass Navy surplus General Electric T58-8F jet engine (the same type that's used to land the presidential chopper) strapped on.
"Come on bitches, tailgate me."
It's the brainchild of car modifier Ron Patrick, who took consummate care to keep it street legal. The Jet Beetle actually has two engines: a standard-issue gasoline engine in the front, and the jet engine in the back. This means the law can't touch you when you use the ordinary gasoline engine ... and when you decide to use the other one, let's see them catch you.
Pay attention to the speedometer, though -- Patrick is fairly certain the car will actually lift off the ground if it hits 160 mph.
He claims he gets this look from the police all the time while they figure out if they can charge him with anything.
Hey, speaking of which ...