When that one kid back in high school told us that he'd heard that you could get pregnant from blow jobs or that the chlorine in hot tubs means you can't catch STDs, we were smart enough to call bullshit. But it turns out that we probably shouldn't have been so quick to laugh and tell him what a virgin he was, because some of those ridiculous sex myths turned out to be terrifyingly close to the truth. For example ...
6Yes, the Dude Can Break His Penis (You Can Even Hear it Snap!)
"See how that lady is violently bouncing up and down on that guy's boner in this porn we're watching together for some reason? You need to be careful doing that -- if she lands wrong, she can absolutely break his penis. I totally know a guy that happened to! They had to put his dick in a little cast! I signed it!"
"It was worse than when my pizza guy got burns delivering an 'extra-large sausage.'"
Come on! That can't be true, right? It's not like a boner has an actual bone in it.
No, but there are two cylinders of tissue that become rigid during an erection, and if she lands on it wrong, it can break, with "an audible cracking sound."
And strangely, this is more likely to happen when a man is cheating, according to University of Maryland Medical Center researcher Dr. Andrew Kramer, who studies penile fractures (and incidentally has by far the worst job in the world). Kramer's research shows that when a man is having an affair, he's more likely to end up with a sharp 90 degree bend in his Mini-Me. He reasoned that illicit sex is more likely to happen in unusual ways or places -- the guy is trying to impress her, after all -- and it's awkward positions and "acrobatic" sex that create the most danger to his brittle love stick.
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"So did you want me to straighten it back out or break it again and give you the Lightning Bolt Special?"
Incidentally, if this ever happens to you or someone you love, yes, you need to seek medical attention immediately. Fixing a break probably requires surgery. If you're embarrassed, just emphasize to the doctor how acrobatic the sex was.