5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

By:
5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

We believe it was Frank Capra who said, and we're paraphrasing here, "If you want to film someone looking genuinely terrified, you have to scare the shit out of them. If you want your actors to cry, make them sad. And above all else, never tell them what's going on."

Directors have been taking those wise words to heart ever since. After all, why trust your actors' "training" or "decades of acting experience" when you can just subject them to actual trauma and turn on the camera? That's how we got scenes like ...

The Chest-Burster Scene from Alien

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

Previously on Alien, an astronaut was face-raped by an alien. It was tough going, but he recovers, until in the middle of a meal he starts convulsing like a doll being shaken by an invisible giant toddler. The crew is just about to give him space CPR when suddenly, a penis-headed alien punches through his chest and everyone is spattered with an eruption of blood and organs.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

What sells that scene isn't the creature effects, or the fact that if you were an audience in 1979, it was the absolute last freaking thing you expected to happen right then. No, it's the apeshit reaction of the crew when the little bastard comes ripping out.

If you think the other actors' horrified and shocked reactions were convincing, it's probably because they, like their characters, had absolutely no idea what was about to occur.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to many more long days of shooting."

Prior to shooting, the actors had all been removed from the set except for alien-pregnant John Hurt, who was hooked up to an elaborate device that involved a spring-loaded cavity filled with rancid pigs' organs, multiple hoses to pump stage blood and the puppet for the alien itself, all crammed into a false chest that was bolted to the table. Hurt was placed underneath, creating the illusion that his neck really was attached to the body cavity.

So the rest of the cast showed up on set knowing only that the script for this particular scene read, "The thing emerges." That's it. And the only thing the cast was told about the "thing" was that "its head will move and it will have teeth."

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

"Hey, it does have teeth and a moving head!"

When the rest of the actors were brought in, they evidently didn't notice that the entire film crew was wearing rain gear and hiding behind plastic shields. On the first take, the false chest convulsed slightly and a tiny bit of blood popped out. This was a false start to get everyone to lean in really close for the next take. Then, boom, they were hit with the full force of an internal organ eruption. Everybody lurched backed in shock. Veronica Cartright got it the worst, with a full-on blood bukkake.

Her scream of disbelief and subsequent desperate, hysterical sobbing was all completely unrehearsed. She actually passed out before the scene was finished and they had to complete it the next day. Yaphet Kotto had to retire to his room and get his blood pressure down or he might have had a heart attack.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

Because this is a horror movie, so one way or another, the black dude is going to die.

If that sounds like the grossest prank any director has ever pulled on his cast, we think we can top it ...

The Exorcist: The Vomit Scene

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

The Exorcist was another landmark film in the horror genre. In place of cheesy heroes, you had a pair of relatable middle-aged men, and the "monster" was nothing more than a bedridden girl. All of this made audiences in 1973 absolutely shit their pants.

Its iconic scene starts with Father Karras interviewing young Regan to determine whether or not her possession is psychological or demonic in nature. When she brings up his dead wife, he tries to stump her by asking for his wife's maiden name. Backed into a corner, she projectile vomits on him. This instantly wins any argument.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

The shock you see there is quite real. Now, obviously the actor knew there was going to be vomit -- it's hard to miss the hoses hooked up to the actress. So if you're director William Friedkin, how do you get a genuine reaction out of actor Jason Miller?

How to Inspire Actors: Method: Oscars: 1!!!

Why, tell him that the spray is supposed to hit in the chest! Then, at the last moment, have the hidden pump mechanism secretly recalibrated so that the puke hits him square in the face.

Jason Miller soldiered through the scene, covered in tepid pea soup, and finished it in one take, spending the rest of the day furiously pissed off.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting
Fear of God

An impossibly complicated setup for a Nickelodeon-level payoff.

In The Fear of God, a documentary on the making of The Exorcist, we learn that Friedkin pulled shit like this quite a lot. During the exorcism scene, he actually refrigerated the sets so the shivering and frozen breath would be more realistic. He kept several loaded guns around and would fire them off at random intervals to keep the actors on edge, though whether they were anxious about the sudden noise or concerned that Friedkin was one remark away from plunging into shoelace-eating jackfuck lunacy is unclear.

ANANGIO OANA

"If this scene needs one more reshoot, I'll trade this camera in for a Kalashnikov."

When Regan's mother was to be yanked back in a harness, Friedkin led her to believe that it would be a very gentle tug. Then he caught her off guard and had it set to fling her backward at maximum strength. This actually resulted in a broken coccyx and permanent spinal problems for actress Ellen Burstyn. But the look on her face was totally worth it!

Willy Wonka Delighting, Horrifying Children

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

The interesting thing about Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is that the "keep the actors in the dark" approach wasn't really limited to a specific scene -- the kids essentially went through the entire production without ever being fully briefed on what was going to happen at any given moment.

For example, in the very first scene with Willy Wonka, that was actually the first time any of the kids had met Gene Wilder.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

The gag where he pretends to be gimped, loses his cane and tragically falls to the ground? According to the DVD commentary, the kids experienced it firsthand. This was actually Wilder's idea, thinking it would make the kids more at ease with him. Because nothing puts children at ease like watching a crippled man fall.

Likewise, much of the film involves capturing the wide-eyed wonder of the children as they take in each new area of the fantastic chocolate factory. So, the kids weren't shown any of the lavish sets or props until the cameras were rolling -- what you see in the finished movie are completely genuine reactions from children having stepped onto a set the size of a football field made entirely of candy.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

Lead-based candy, but nevertheless.

In retrospect, it seems pretty obvious that the candy was all inflatable plastic, and the "chocolate river" looks like an unflushed rec center toilet. But for a few glorious seconds, those giant candy mushrooms and gumball ferns were real.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

If this sounds like a sweet, harmless version of what the Alien and Exorcist crews did to their casts, don't worry -- the kids got to experience their moment of horror, too. We're talking about the infamous boat ride of nightmares through the tunnel of brain-eating insanity, where an epileptic horror light show flashes on the screen while Wonka screams acid-baked poetry at the children.

The kids knew their lines and that they were going to have smoke and lights flashed at them, but there wasn't one word in the script about Willy Wonka's mind-boggling verse where he screams that they're all going to die:

We swear there's a point in that scene where everybody kind of stops acting and just stares, like they thought Wilder had just shown up to the set stoned and having forgotten that he was an actor in a movie.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

"Uh ... is that man about to pull out his dick?"

Casablanca: The Marseillaise Scene

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

Casablanca is one of those movies that you watch and think about how awesome it would be if it hadn't become cliche 60 years ago. It sits at No. 2 on the AFI's greatest films list, and just about every scene holds some significance in pop culture. Even if you haven't seen it, you can probably piece the story together through the oft-repeated catchphrases.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

Girl walks in to gin joint, kid gets looked at, beautiful friendship begins, Sam plays it, roll credits.

Rick (Humphrey Bogart) is upstairs chatting with Laszlo, notorious resistance leader and husband to Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman). Some German patrons begin to annoy the other customers by rudely singing "Die Wacht am Rhein" (loose translation: "Stab the French with Our Rock-Hard German Penises"). To this point, Rick had stayed pretty neutral on the whole "Nazi" issue. But in this pivotal scene, Rick lends a single nod of support Laszlo's way. Laszlo and the other bar patrons find the courage to drown out the Nazis with their own patriotic verse of "La Marseillaise" (loose translation: "The Marseillaise"), and the Nazis, thoroughly out-Glee-ed, leave in a huff.

The patrons celebrate their small victory, some clearly moved to tears. The thing is, nothing in the script actually called for crying. Unlike most of the entries on this list, this one has less to do with a sociopathic director and more to do with the time and place the film was made.

See, this was a World War II movie ... that was being filmed in the middle of World War goddamned II.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

That wasn't even a prop gun.

It's easy to forget that part, now that hundreds of movies (and seemingly thousands of video games) have been based on the war in the decades since it ended. Casablanca was shot in 1941 during the German occupation of France, at a point where many questioned whether or not the United States would ever step in to help, and when nobody knew how the whole thing was going to turn out.

And the scene included actors who, in real life, had a lot at stake. To shoot Casablanca as a believable port town, producers brought together one of the most ethnically diverse casts in film history, and a lot of these extras turned out to be Europeans who had fled to America to escape the Nazis -- that is, they were basically real-life refugees. They had left homes, friends and families behind, and at this point really didn't know if things could ever return to normal. Which makes us wonder if the director didn't stage the whole war just to get that scene.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

"No, they have to be real Nazis."

The Blair Witch Project (The Entire Movie)

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

The Blair Witch Project tells a very simple story: Three college students head out into the woods to make a documentary about witches. They argue and bitch at each other for 89 minutes, until mercifully they finally die. Some unspecified amount of time later, a major film company finds their footage and exploits the tragic snuff film for millions of dollars.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

"I'm so glad we didn't share any of this with their stupid families!"

That's the story we're intended to believe, anyway, and it's not hard to see why early audiences were sucked in (the entire viral ad campaign was based around people believing in the "found footage" nature of the film). The directors perfectly captured the feel of a documentary being made by a bunch of cold, hungry amateurs. They did it by giving some amateurs a camcorder and leaving them in the woods for a week.

The Blair Witch Project was radically innovative, in the way that duct taping a camera to a toddler would also be an innovation. It did away with needless conventions like a "script" or "acting" and opted instead to make sure every scare was a surprise for the actors. The only written lines were given to the creepy townspeople in the film's opening -- the main characters were instructed to do random interviews, and the directors sneaked in these real, actual actors to mess with them.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

And we thought this was just a normal 20-year-old dressed like an 80-year-old hanging out with a 60-year-old.

Everything else was contained to a 35-page outline with various info on the myth and a vague rundown of the plot and scenes. And that was it. Most of the filming took place over an eight-day camping trip. The directors would meet with the trio to give them supplies, a basic outline for the day's shooting and directions to where they would meet up next. They then left them to improvise and essentially film their hike to the next rendezvous. Quite a few of the scenes were of the three literally getting lost.

Sometimes the directors would stay back and stalk the kids, breaking sticks or throwing rocks just out of sight. The cast got more and more exhausted, cold and sleep deprived, and the crew would sneak onto their campsite in the middle of the night to play clips of children's laughter and violently shake the tents. On top of this, they would give the three actors less food every day to gradually make them angrier and more ragged.

5 Amazing Performances From Actors Who Weren't Acting

"No way, guys, this does not count as a urinal.

The more you read about it, the more The Blair Witch Project seems like a cruel, eight-day-long joke that somebody decided to splice into a movie. They were never able to obtain funding for their next project, Surprised Shoppers at the Mall Getting Hit in the Nuts With a Baseball Bat.

For more scenes brought about by torment, check out 12 Classic Movie Moments Made Possible by Abuse and Murder. Or learn about some other directors to steer clear of in 9 Awesome Directors Who Temporarily Lost Their Mind.

And stop by LinkSTORM because the week is almost over.

And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed.

Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infographic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!

Scroll down for the next article

MUST READ

Forgot Password?