Cracked Round-Up: Micro-Nation Edition
After a lot of scrimping and saving, Cracked has managed to put together just enough money to buy its very own sovereign island off the coast of Florida. Some of you are probably asking 'why'. Which means you're woefully unfamiliar with the anti-viagra laws that permeate so much of Central and South America. In less than three weeks we've set up a distribution network that spans from Guatemala to Peru. It doesn't seem to matter that all our pills are just aspirin painted blue.
Start your week off right with crippling depression thanks to Gladstone's column on things that are much sadder than they should be. Soren Bowie revealed some fan bases you won't believe exist and Luke McKinney looked at video games that did it wrong (and the games that made them look like fools). Brockway upped the testosterone count with magazine covers so manly they'll make your ball hair grow hair and John Cheese wrote the least comforting article on parenting ever. Dan O'Brien gave some unmistakeable signs you're getting old while Seanbaby closed us off with the biggest cheaters in game show history.
|
WRONGFUL PROPS
|
 Oh boy, comments section. Get ready for some very long arguments about George Lucas.
|
Notable Comment: "I would agree about the collaborative bit, but I really don't think anybody but Roddenberry could have come up with his pollyannish view of space and the future. It took other writers to come up with the dramatic tension."
Don't forget Riker, macsnafu. Other writers had to come up with Riker.
|
WORST TRY
|
 You'd think these guys would use whatever the architectural equivalent to spell check is.
|
Notable Comment: "You missed an opportunity there with Freedom Tower, New Yorkers. You should have gone with the 3 buildings design. Just make their footprints in triangular shape, and with two vertices almost touching the base of the third one. And you would have a structure in the shape of the Triforce."
Dear God, Senyor_Ghosto, it's staggering just how much we've lost.
|
BAD IDEAS
|
 Sometimes game designers drink. For days on end.
|
Notable Comment:"Are we really so over stimulated that we need to make pissing more entertaining?"
Listen, Kayla87. If you can't enjoy your pee as much as possible, you aren't really alive.
|
BAD LAW
|
 Assholes have money too.
|
Notable Comment: "What if in real life, a case such as "Double Jeopardy" occurred, Who would must sue? To the state? To the guy was dead and then appeared?"
NolRoa, the police tend to get interested any time a body pops up.
|
BAD END
|
 |
Notable Comment:"Why does someone want to get out of Jamaica? I've heard of people wanting out of Cuba and Haiti, but never Jamaica."
It's all the daggering, jcupach. That shit is dangerous.
|
Natural Disastronauts
|
 'Cause breaking up is hard to do.
|
|
YOU YOU YOU!
|
 We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, Propaganda Posters Against Everyday Annoyances, Must Have Toys For Christmas 2011 and Mundane Jobs as Ridiculously Glamorized by Hollywood.
|
