7 A Criminal Tattoos an Entire Crime Scene on his Chest
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Planning the perfect murder isn't easy -- there can't be any witnesses or physical evidence for the CSI team, and you have to resist the urge to tattoo a confession right on your goddamned chest. That last one is what tripped up Anthony Garcia, a member of the notorious "Rivera-13" gang, who after a 2004 shooting of a rival gang member came up with the bright idea of permanently inking a play-by-play mural of the murder on his entire upper body.
Detectives were going over random snapshots of gang tattoos when they noticed something eerily familiar about the tats of one gang member who had been pulled over for a minor traffic offense. Well, what do you know; the tattoo was almost an exact representation of the scene of a murder that had gone unsolved for almost four years.
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
Pro Tip: Make sure to include your gang's name and the type of crime to cut down on confusion.
Definitely not one to skip on the details, Anthony Garcia had gone balls out on the drawing of the murder including details that could have come only from someone who had more than a passing interest in the crime. First were the tattoo drawings of the roof, windows and frames of the liquor store, which were the same as those of the liquor store where the murder was committed.
But the clincher was the image of a cartoon peanut-man being shot to death by an angry helicopter. While that's not exactly how things went down, it makes sense when you know that Garcia's gang referred to rival gang members as "peanuts," and Garcia himself went by the nickname "Chopper." The tattoo was so accurate that even the direction in which the shots were fired from the helicopter was exactly as it happened in the murder.
It's like "Pin the Tail on the Conviction."
As if investigators didn't have it easy enough, Garcia had gone ahead to include even more identifying details of the crime scene, such as the crooked streetlight across the road and even the street sign of the street.
Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
If you look really closely you can even see the tiny tattoo guy working in the liquor store and regretting his life choices.
Cops arrested Garcia a second time, and he soon confessed to an undercover cop. That's probably a detail that he'll leave out of his next tattoo design.
6 Terrorist Builds a Failed Car Bomb, Leaves his Keys Inside
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In 2010, Faisal Shahzad sought out to get himself a place on the FBI's Most Wanted list when he came to America to blow part of it up. He bought a cheap car, crammed it with a bunch of explosives and fireworks, and tried to set it off in Times Square. When the timer went off, however, the car didn't explode. It wasn't an act of God -- Shahzad was just really bad at being a terrorist.
U.S. Marshals Service
And really bad at facial hair.
Investigators combing through the failed bomb noticed that while he included fireworks, propane tanks, gasoline, and fertilizer in the car he didn't prep any of the components. Shahzad seemed to have taken a lesson from a Michael Bay movie and assumed that if a bunch of fireworks are close enough together they will ignite each other (they don't). As for the fertilizer, Shahzad apparently didn't realize that he needed to mix it with propane in order for it to do anything but feed a vegetable garden.
Unless your terror target's named "Tannen," this alone isn't accomplishing anything.
So that's why his act of terror didn't actually terrorize anyone. But the reason he was immediately caught is that Shahzad left the keys to his apartment in the car. So not only could the police trace him to where he lived, but he couldn't get into his apartment.
Oh, and along with his apartment keys were the keys to his getaway car, forcing him to take the train home. In the end, it's unlikely that he'll ever be the subject of a blockbuster by Kathryn Bigalow, unless she casts Will Ferrell in the lead.