6 Terrifying Real Speeches That Were Thankfully Never Given
#3. Nixon Refuses to Resign
While sideways Nixon was busy accepting responsibility for the failure of the moon landing in the alternate universe, regular Nixon was still also screwing things up. The Watergate scandal may not have been the biggest dick move in Nixon's presidency, but it certainly was the most public. Yes, breaking into a hotel late at night may not sound quite as bad as sabotaging peace talks in Vietnam or trying to assassinate a journalist with LSD, but goddamnit, trying to cover it up is apparently worse than all those things put together.
Richard Nixon, the George Washington of liars.
As Congress prepared impeachment proceedings, Nixon had two options: fight for his presidency even if it meant trashing every single shred of integrity to his office, or spare the nation a lengthy impeachment process by resigning. Sure enough, Nixon and his speechwriters considered the latter "Option B," and that is the speech he gave to the nation on August 8, 1974, when he resigned the presidency.
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"In conclusion, America, if you want beef then bring the ruckus; Wu-Tang clan ain't nothin' to fuck with.
Thank you, and God Bless America."
It's a fairly standard bullshit-artist speech. He starts off explaining how he's not going to stand up and explain himself, and then he spends about four paragraphs explaining himself. He used a whole lot of safe, "firmly believe that I have not committed any act of commission or omission that justifies removing a duly elected President from office," kind of language. He never outright says he's innocent, just subtle variations on "I'm pretty sure I don't think I did anything wrong, in my opinion." That way, regardless of the outcome, he can still exit the other side saying, "Well, I still believe I didn't do anything wrong. Conscience: Clear."
He goes on to get all martyr-y, explaining that he's going to get into a long trial and investigation instead of resigning because that's more in the spirit of the American constitutional process. "Look, I'd resign right now, folks, but I'm just so god damned American that I couldn't do it in good conscience. I owe it to this amazing country of ours. Let's hear it for America, am I right?"
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"Any other country would have shot me."
The Most Chilling Part:
That "Option B" was Option B! That was his backup plan. Also, the part where Nixon desperately tries to make the case that his resignation would only lead to a string of resignations "on every future president who might, for whatever reason, fall into a period of unpopularity." What a cowardly threat. "Look, if I quit, then you'll also lose all of the good presidents who come after me!" What a dickish thing to do. Also dickish? Burglary, attempted murder and destroying evidence like the Watergate tapes and blaming it on your secretary.
Rose Mary Woods, demonstrating how completely full of shit she is.
What Hearing It Would Have Meant:
Had Nixon delivered this originally intended broadcast, it would have kicked off a constitutional war the likes of which the country would not see again until, well, you know ...
Getty
Not pictured: Cigar.
By the summer of 1974, the House Judiciary Committee approved three articles of impeachment against Nixon, and on August 9 the Watergate prosecution team was debating whether or not to indict the president. Even Nixon's buddies like Strom Thurmond were forced to tell him that their mutual hatred for black people and Jewish people would not be enough to keep the Solid South behind him.
In short, Richard M. Nixon would have been forced out of the White House, kicking and screaming in a matter even more embarrassing than his current reputation in Futurama and among the Jury of the Damned.
#2. Lincoln Loses Reelection, Sets His Stopwatch
Despite his current reputation as a cartoon character and Geico subject, the truth is that Abraham Lincoln's reelection chances initially looked pretty grim. By 1864 the American Civil War had entered its bloodiest year, General Ulysses S. Grant had been forced to a standstill outside of Richmond and even Lincoln's own party was beginning to consider the abolition of slavery a losing issue. All the worse, facing Lincoln in the election would be the same George B. McClellan that Lincoln had previously fired for being so bad a general that the Vice President of the Confederacy described his nomination as "the first ray of light I have seen from the North since the war began." It was the last, and arguably the best, chance the South ever had to win the Civil War: by convincing the North that the war was lost and by voting Lincoln out of office.
Seriously ... Fuck ... This ... Man ...
In Lincoln's own words, just three months before the election, "I am going to be beaten ... and unless some great change takes place, badly beaten." As such, he prepared a sealed document for his cabinet to open in the event that the unthinkable became real: that George B. McClellan was elected president. It was not a concession speech and it was not even close to congratulatory. It was his last-ditch game plan to win the Civil War, no matter what the cost or loss of life, before the incoming president could uphold his party platform and establish an immediate armistice with the South.
From Lincoln's point of view, the fate of the United States was in his giant, super-freak hands.
He told his entire cabinet that he was almost positive that he would lose and would spend his remaining time in office trying to help heal the Union, no matter what. He knows he's done for, so he's going to use the last of his time running around and just going crazy. Shit. It's like a presidential version of Crank.
"Half of my body mass is in cocaine."
What a cool guy.
The Most Chilling Part:
Where Lincoln says that his opponent "will have secured his election on such ground that he can not possibly save it afterwards." He would help the incoming president if it came down to it, but he genuinely believed that, if he wasn't reelected, no one would be able to heal America. Meaning that the United States had until noon, March 4, 1865 to win the Civil War, otherwise there would no longer be a United States south of the nation's capital.
Civil War Daily Gazette
Like this, only for keeps.
What Hearing It Would Have Meant:
While we do not know the details of Lincoln's Hail Mary against the South, there are two very likely possibilities: an all-out assault with an immense loss of life, or, as nearly happened in 1864, an ending to the war worthy of The Godfather. It is debated that Lincoln had actually attempted a hit job against Jefferson Davis as part of the so-called Dahlgren Affair. Among its details ...
"An address to his troops on Cavalry Corps stationery was even more explicit: 'The City it must be destroyed and Jeff. Davis and Cabinet killed.'"
We know what you are thinking and the answer is yes: Abraham Lincoln was seriously that cold in private.
Oh, but he could be tender.
Fortunately, none of this came to pass, since Lincoln finally got the big break he needed when General William T. Sherman captured Atlanta on September 2, just days after McClellan and his Copperhead allies convened their defeatist platform. With the South now precisely where Lincoln wanted it, Sherman promised to personally "make Georgia howl" for the president. Lincoln approved Sherman's plan for a "March to the Sea" in yet another display of badassery, which ushered Sherman into the annals of American history as the most hated man in the South and Lincoln back to his desk for a second term.
#1. The Doomsday PSAs
According to the 1992 Time magazine article "The Doomsday Blueprints," the Mount Weather doomsday hideaway President Eisenhower had Dr. Strangelove build into Virginia's Blue Ridge Mountains contained a vault with prerecorded PSAs to air in the event of full-scale nuclear war. Interestingly, these videos included survival instructions for the nation recorded by television personality and Chesterfield cigarettes spokesperson Arthur Godfrey.
Wikipedia
The man who nearly played the role of one of the angels from Revelation.
Up until last May, an underground meteorological station at the site issued daily reports on wind direction and speed, plotting potential radiation patterns. The site's television studio is prepared to provide the President -- or his successor -- a national audience over the Emergency Broadcast System. Throughout the Eisenhower Administration -- and for years after -- a vault held tape-recorded addresses by both Eisenhower and celebrity Arthur Godfrey. The prerecorded message was concise: The country has come under nuclear attack, but the government continues to function.
In addition, a number of prominent newsmen who had taken oaths of secrecy had agreed to accompany the president to the relocation site of his choosing and lend their familiar names and faces to help calm the surviving audience.
According to an interview with former CBS president Frank Stanton obtained by the Cold War-crazed website CONELRAD in 2004, these PSAs not only "absolutely" existed, but Eisenhower had more than one of them made. PSAs were recorded not only by Arthur Godfrey but also by Edward R. Murrow, which more or less guarantees that part of the country's contingency plan for nuclear holocaust included smoking lots and lots of Chesterfield cigarettes.
Amazon.com
"And now a word from our sponsors ..."
The Most Chilling Part:
We're guessing the part that went "the country has come under nuclear attack," since this was essentially the ending for humanity Terminator 3 was preparing us for all along.
"This ends the portion of history where you remain alive."
What Hearing It Would Have Meant:
Assuming you possessed the foresight to hide things out in a lead-lined fridge, that you had just been cast as either "Man," "Boy" or Guy Pearce in The Road.
Jacopo della Quercia is the author of "Go @#$% Yourself!" -- An Ungentlemanly Disagreement, by Filippo Argenti, and another book that he really does plan on finishing one of these days.
For more terrifying what if's you'll be glad never came to pass, check out 5 Backup Plans That Would Have Changed Modern History and 6 Terrifying Emergency Escape Pods (That Aren't Worth It).
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I heard a really cool radio broadcast featuring that letter regarding Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. The dialogue was between the two while on the moon after everything, including contact with NASA control, had failed. It ended with that letter being read. I thought it was quite powerful.
ReplyThat picture of Nixon smiling in front of the flag. So f*****g Quagmire.
ReplyI totally thought that the last entry would be about the BBC script prepared in case of nuclear attack: "There is nothing to be gained by trying to get away." Absolutely chilling. (link is bitly slash sTqDOe)
Replyrussia? won WWII?! Oh russia, you poor, ignorant, backwards country. When will you recover from the dark ages, which is what i believe they call the last 200 years of living in russia.
ReplyTrolls at least plan their attack. There wasn't even a modicum of thought in this whole comment.
"Article say Russia. HULK SMASH RUSSIA!!!"
Imagine being Kennedy's speech writer and knowing you were writing the script to the end of the world. Try to put yourself in that position. For me, it's an example of why history is both fascinating and terrifying.
ReplyNot gonna check 686 comments to see if anyone already said this. If not:
ReplyThese aren't really speeches as such but search Wikipedia for Britain's "Letters of Last Resort". Scarier than waking up next to Barbara Streisand.
The state of Georgia would like to issue a statement: "Fuck Sherman."
ReplyThe ghost of William T. Sherman would like a word.
The ghosts of 10 million Africans who died being transported to the Southern colonies because the people there thought it would be funny would like to issue a statement: "Fuck Georgia"
It would seem that there is a modern day crisis unfolding in the middle east. Global dominance is the goal. World War 3 may happen in 2012. Nato is covertly orchestrating it. iranisrealwarpossible2011 . blogspot. com/
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI've talked to people like you. When doomsday fails to pass, instead of reevaluating your world view, there's a 99% chance you'll just move doomsday to next yet. And so on, until you inevitably perish and the next generation takes the paranoia torch.
I bet NoobSaibot90's a big Harold Camping fan.
Tell you what...If the world ends, I'll buy you a mutant cow steak in the remains and toast you're reveation.
The word "apocalypse" actually means "to unveil". Just thought I'd throw that out there.
"And I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place! Hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Futurama Nixon kicks ass!
ReplyWell I think Nixon's petty breaking and entering is kinda like Al Capone's Tax Evasion. Everyone knew Capone did all sorts of stuff, and even the people that liked him started hating him after the St. Vaentine's Day Massacre, but Tax evasion was the only thing anyone could actually prove he did, so that's what they went after him for.
ReplyWow. Just the thought of the moon landing ending in tragedy and everything it would imply makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I'm gonna go watch the (successful) moon landing a few dozen times now until I feel better.
ReplyWhat's this? No retarded conspiracy theories or trolls in reply yet? I applaud you, Cracked readers.
This time.
Those PSA's reminded me of the Simpsons episode where Comic Book guy handed over his shop to Bart and Milhouse.
ReplyNot to mention those victory speeches by Al Gore and John Kerry.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesThe title is "6 Terrifying Speeches", not "6 Speeches That Would've Potentially Prevented Eleven Years of Political Nonsense"
Lol, we're being political on a comedy website
Too bad, I was expecting a JFK speech denying he had sexual relations with Marilyn Monroe. Imagine what Slick Willy said but with JFK's accent.
If you want a TERRIFYING speech then how bout Nader's acceptance speech?
I chose to bang Marylin Monroe in this decade and do the other things. Not because they were easy, but because they were hard.
@Bas
No, no...
"I chose to do Marilyn Monroe and other women in this decade. Because they were easy, and I was hard."
"I not only had sexual relations with that woman, I had sexual relations with several of her hot actress friends, a bevy of models, some dames in the secretary pool, a couple interns, and, occasionally, my super-hot wife. Kennedy AWAAAAAAAAAY!"
This is your president: John Henry E*cough* sorry Dwight David Eisenhower.
ReplyNo one wants the Robot Prez.
Note: Do you know who Bethesda's first choice for JHE's VA was? Former President Bill Clinton.
I like how in Eisenhower's note he first wrote 'troops have been withdrawn' then crossed that out and replaced with 'I have withdrawn the troops'.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesEisenhower was a class act.
Passive vs. active voice. A good leader knows that active voice is stronger.
I really admire General Ike. He was a great man.
@June 6, 1944, the date of the Normandy invasion during World War II, is often marketed as the turning point of the 20th century@
Reply Hide All See All 44 RepliesActually by the 1944 the WWII was already won by Soviets (crucial moment - battle of Stalingrad after which Reich never recovered), so outside US it is widely regarded that US landed only to grab their part of land and fame from the already beaten to death Nazis. So really landing was not about Reich but about stopping glorious communist armies, stealing their hard-won victory from the fingers of the half-dead Germany (Iam sorry but its true).
Actually, we teach that here as well. Except we weren't racing the Soviets, we were racing the Brits. Basically, we both had crazy generals.
Really? What were the Russians doing to Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland after the war? Were they having their vacations? Besides, the USSR was helped by US lend-lease items.
Actually main portion of lend-lease was shipped after the lowest point of war (which was the winter of 1941) and helped greatly... but after the Nazi invasion plan turned into epic fail. It is really sad for Americans but the war was won at the gates of Moscow hy the untrained unequipped but very very very angry Russian conscripts. All your fancy bling-bling came after that when the fate of Reich was sealed by the blood of the Great Russian Nation. Its an old Russian tradition to kick German asses - in the last 300 years we stormed Berlin for 3 times, one time for the century.
Not really. Stalin kept pushing (nagging) for the Allies to "open the Western Front" years before 1944 when they weren't even close to being ready. He knew that it was crucial for the Germans to have their resources split to make things easier for the Eastern Front. Also, Stalin seriously feared that the Allies would make a separate peace with Hitler which would have made WW2 in Europe basically Germany vs the USSR. It's not accurate to simply say the Soviets would have won for sure. ANything could have happened (read Fatherland).
Although, there was serious consideration about who would influence Europe after Germany was defeated. And Churchill was pissed when he realized that post WW2 Europe would basically be US/USSR controlled.
Overlord was also more about us Brits as well. You gotta remember we didn't really like being so close to the enemy for 4 years
You see, even the initial attack on Soviet Union was s total madness, but after failing the Blitzkrieg plan (when German troops were forced to continue war in winter - welcome to Frostland fuckers) even Jesus Christ himself couldnt win war for Reich. And in 1944, when Stalin got big, expirienced, well-trained and well-equipped army, even if US changed sides and joined Reich, Germany was lost. Yeah American landing made things a little easier - I wont argue with that - but even without Americans Reich would fallen in 1945. Maybe it costed us more, but when you already lost 26 MILLIONS it makes no differences. It's became not about efforts, losses, your funny expedition forces - it became about I WILL RIP YOUR CHEST APART AND EAT YOUR HEART YOU BLOODY GERMAN BASTARD (literally - you lucky you didnt read Russian frontline propaganda of the age, that was best hate-speeches ever, "Kill the Germans. Kill all of them, old, young, thin, fat, healthy, sick - all of them" - famous Soviet poet Erenburg).
About consideration - yes, but I cant find words "fighting nazis" in "we want to control post-war Europe".
So, basically, all that D-DAY was about "Me too! Me too defeated Germany!"
Oh I found it
"The Germans are not human beings. Henceforth the word German means to us the most terrible curse. From now on the word German will trigger your rifle. We shall not speak any moe. We shall not get excited. We shall kill. If you have not killed at least one German a day, you have wasted that day... If you cannot kill your German with a bullet, kill him with your bayonet. If there is calm on your part of the front, if you are waiting for the fighting, kill a German before combat. If you leave a German alive, the German will hang a Russian and rape a Russian woman. If you kill one German, kill another - there is nothing more amusing for us than a heap of German corpses. Do not count days; do not count miles. Count only the number of Germans you have killed. Kill the German - this is your old mother's prayer. Kill there German - this is what your children beseech you to do. Kill the German - this is the cry of your Russian earth. Do not waver. Do not let up. Kill." - that was written in the time of Battle of Stalingrad, when people LITERALLY were fighting in close combat with teeths and nails.
And TWO YEARS after THAT you guys showing up, all merry and ready to fight Nazis. LOL.
no one denies russia's MASSIVE contribution, one bigger than america's.
but this idea that the russia could have easily won without is just as ridiculous as saying america won the whole war. both sides were needed for a quick victory.
Russia didnt won easily. But won. And when your help arrived, the day was already done. Do not think. Kill. "Oh, hi guys, I'am Johnny, fresh from the Normandy, why are such long faces? Did I missed something?"
People seem to have forgotten that without the d-day victory, the Nazi's could have relocated their forces to the East front and possibly have a chance against the Russians.
Russia could have one the war singlehandedly? Jacopo got burned for suggesting somewhat close in another article. Think about it, Germany attacking Russia looked like some chihuahua attacking a pitbull with the pitbull getting pawned!.
3/4 of the German losses were lost on the Eastern Front, so please tell where were exactly those Huge German Forces Defetead By Americans That Could Change Everything?
pro-tip: Germans were viewing Eastern Front assigment as a form of punishment and Western front assigment - as a blessing.
And I dont suggest anything - there are huge fields of death in my country, filled with hundreds of thousands fallen soldiers, died in a fierce, unhuman battle. And where were you when they were dying and fighting and spitting blood? You waited. You were afraid. You known that in entire human history there were no battle like Stalingrad - and you didnt want a piece of it. Deep inside all you Americans know that your nation never expirienced such suffering that were in the occupied Russia and that pain and hatred of this unhuman proportion (26 millions - in all your wars you didnt lost even tenth of it) will destroy your heart and your soul.
But we survived. Remained humans. And ever kept the ability to read your comedy sites and laugh.
hey guys? the word the article uses is "marketed". as in that's why marketers say, not what really happened. im just sayin tho.
"But we survived. Remained humans. "
Remained human? Reading that propaganda up there about killing all Germans doesn't seem to imply that you kept your humanity. People condemn the Nazis for attempting to exterminate an entire race, but judging by your own words you were just as bad as they were.
I don't want to sound too American sided but the USSR was in deep trouble when one enemy attacked, never mind a small one while the USA participated on two fronts. Can you really tell me that Russia could have finished, in a fast manner, the Germans?
Fun fact - that badass propaganda was written by a Soviet jew (who then was touring in US, raising money for the Russian front). So even our jews werent silent victims of Nazis... it's like Inglorious Bastards, only in reality and with a much more cruelty.
In Russia we dont whine or wait for help - we just kill bastards. And about fast manner without American help - 26 millions and 4 years of war is a fast manner for you? You're joking, right?
@jericoparazo
The US got off easy in comparison. Yes, they were on two fronts, but those theaters were much less brutal than the eastern front.
There was nothing Germany could do to repel the Soviet forces. At that point the Soviet churned out war machines and soldiers at an insane rate, and the remnants of the German forces, even if unified couldn't have done anything but delayed the Soviets somewhat.
BUT: The US still saved Europe. From the Soviets, just like the article said. The Germans were particularly lucky, since the Soviets did... horrible things to the civilians (well over 90% of Berlin's women were raped... multiple times. They weren't any kinder to the Jews, for that matter).
But, Mr.Russia, this whole series of post were unnecessary. Look at the line you took offense to: "June 6, 1944, the date of the Normandy invasion during World War II, is often MARKETED as the turning point of the 20th century."
Marketed. Can you really deny that?
For that matter, it's true. The allies prevented the CCCP from pushing deeper into Europe, which is something I'm very, very thankful for, spared a lot of lives, and THEN helped out a devastated Europe (yeah, I know the Soviet helped out eastern Europe too, but they didn't have a lot to give, so their help consisted more of putting nearly everyone to work in the fields.)
About mass raping - that was form of putting Germans (who as you surely remember ELECTED Hitler, hooray for democracy!) to justice. When you kill 26 millions of people (2/3 of whom were civilians), rape is almost a mercy. I know that Americans have no precedent of such terror in their history so they cannot understand that level of pain and hatred that was in souls of Russian soldiers when they reached Germany. Russians had full rights not to rape - to destroy all German people, kill'em all. But we were merciful and let them to live.
About working in fields - actually USSR had their own trade league through which it supported communist countries. Big part of eastern european industries was built on the Soviet money.
I still believe that the USSR would have had a lot more trouble defeating Germany w/o an western front...You forget the Americans and Brits were coming from Italy as well. And w/o Hitler being all scared of Allied forces in the west he could have setup a better defensive strategy against the Soviets...Sorry Bro Its true. take it. :)
"About mass raping - that was form of putting Germans (who as you surely remember ELECTED Hitler, hooray for democracy!)to justice. When you kill 26 millions of people (2/3 of whom were civilians), rape is almost a mercy."
First of all, Hitler's votes consisted of about 3% before the Great Depression, after the crisis it shot up to 18%. Jews were just the scapegoats, we always need to blame someone or a group when something bad happens. Add massive propaganda and an extremist to the mix and it's what you get. I don't think I need to give you the definition of propaganda.
Second of all, I'd like you to remind you you're justifying rape here, some people don't take that s**t lightly and would rather die. Besides I don't remember German civilians storming Leningrad in my history books, I don't think you do neither.
The USSR and the US both saved our european asses, that's how the story went. Yes the IIIrd Reich didn't learn to never attack Russia during winter in history class and got their panzer asses kicked by angry russians straight to Berlin, and yes Normandy was an epic theater of war that changed everything. So y'now what f**k all of this, what's done has been done, let's drink!
There are important German history school that teaches about Sonderwerg - Special Way Of German Civilization - that was leading to Hitler, so Hitler is not a mistake or anomaly but the pinnacle of the German national history. After all, first mass atrocities was done by Germans in First World War, their murderous rage in Second WW was just an escalation.
About rapes - well there were surprisingly little number of German women suicides. Maybe they all never had any honour (which is unexpected cause all Nazi teaching was about Not Sleeping With Enemy) or maybe brutal, smelling of death, anger and dominance Russian soldiers were pretty good lovers, who knows. Germans invented BDSM porn, after all.
And about American participation - you may believe in anything, but that a matter of fact (pretty shameful for US), not a matter of faith.
And yes, lets drink! Iam not an a*****e and actually hate USSR, but I like nice, anger-fueled chit-chat with our American and European friends.
Really, anything can change in history. If the Normandy invasions failed, then the Germans could have relocated more troops to the Eastern Front. That one fourth more troops might not sound bad until you realize it is millions upon millions of reinforcements with more armor and air power thrown in as well. Russia was already low on supplies (I can't confirm this through independent research, but I learned in, admittedly American, history classes that often the Russians only had one rifle per two people, leaving one holding the rifle and some ammo, and another with most of the ammo who was supposed to pick up a rifle from a fallen comrade if he found one and use it).
And the Germans didn't like the Eastern Front because, without a doubt, the Russians DID fight more viciously than the other assorted allies, and also had much more hate harbored towards the Germans, although both sides contributed heavily to the overall ending of the war.
I think it's worth noting that the French coast and the surrounding area was the launching area for the V1 and V2 rockets (the latter of which was literally the first ICMB).
Had the Normandy invasion not happened, these bases could have been used (and improved) for use against Soviet forces in the East as they advanced. The German Ardennes Offensive of '44 also basically used up what Germany had left in reserve of honest to goodness troops
My only humble point is that the Normandy landings, while certainly not decisive, did make the Wehrmacht use resources and men (occupation and combat forces) that could have been used in the East. I doubt this would have had a major impact on the advancing Soviets, but it might have altered the particulars of how the East would have played out. Just a humble opinion.
I heard that quadrotriticale and scotch whiskey were also invented in Russia!
Mr. Russia, please note that you personally were not actually in the battle of Stalingrad, nor did you fight in WWII, nor did you assault berlin at any point in your life. The only thing you're being proud of right now is the accident of you being born a Russian.
Add that to the fact that you're saying raping german civillians in WWII was alright eventhough they did not nescesarily have anything to do with the nazis, and the fact that you're obviously discriminating against germans eventhough current ones also have nothing to do with the nazis, that makes you a prettty s****y person.
Mr Russia, wasn't the USSR on the sides of the Germans? Why should the Allies trust it fully? Another example on the weaknesses of the USSR, it almost got pawned by a little country it was attacking that time, Finland.
@Karri-I think the Pacific front was quite brutal. The Japanese were diehards who really took the "fighting to the last man" literally. Also, the Russians also lost to Finland, a small country. This means that Russia was weak. This was because of infrastructure and, initially, officers more competent with ass kissing than fighting.
War with Finland was won and USSR got new territories. More intresting that the only thing that stopped Soviet troops was English demands to stop the war immediatly with possibility to turning it into a full-scale war with British Empire. There were already created a Soviet goverment for Finland but it was recalled after British demands. So you better learn history before making up nonsense.
And about hatred for Germans... well, I'am confused. That guys started two f*****g World Wars killed in them more than 30 millions of Russian people (that's like FIVE TIMES Holocaust, yep), why Russians would ever dislike Germans? I think, it's just a strange Russian prejudece.
Mr Russia, I said "almost lost" the war to Finland. Almost lost a war with a country a fraction of its size. Well, they did have Simo Hayha so I guess its understandable.
Besides, war with Finland was initiated because, intially, the USSR AND GERMANY WERE ON THE SAME SIDE!
Last one to comment. So does that mean I win the discussion?;)
I dont understand thesis "almost lost" - finns defeated Soviet armies? USSR was on the verge of collapse? Thousands of finns troops occupied Leningrad and were advancing to Moscow? Or what? "Yeah, sure, USSR defeated Reich, but almost lost to Finland" - you cant be serious.
Mr. Russia, "almost lost" meaning the Finns won but fought hard and cost Mother Russia a lot of troops and equipment. I think its partly through the Finns using innovative tactics like hit and run using ski troops.
Sorry, I mean the Finns lost but cost Mother Russia Dearly.
you wish russia. You certainly didnt end WWII, or even help. All you did was prevent the nazis from invading, but you did nothing to help other countries, especially the usa. What about your cold war immedietly after? Cuban missle crisis? Your shiity economy and horribly failing political structure? Cmon...russia, dont be a douchbag. You know America is the greatest country evr ever ever ever.
Superjesus, I'm not American but I have to agree. I just read the plaque on a building on my school saying it was built with the help of the USA to help my country to get up after WW2. A school that was started by the USA to give chance to not so rich people a chance to get a decent college education. My grandad (RIP) fought with Americans at Bataan and was rewarded with medals and, more importantly, scholar ship for my mom (my grandad was a tenant farmer and wasn't exactly that rich).
France would like a word, Mr.Russia.
Why dont you mention how Russia doomed half of Nazi occupied Europe to another 40 yrs of occupation, oppression, and hardship? America liberated nations, Russia invaded them.
Russia, you attempted to take over Finland twice in WWII, AND FAILED TERRIBLY BOTH TIMES. Mighty and glorious my ass, you got ass-whipped twice by a few guys on skis with outdated gear.
Holy Sh!t!!! The replies to this comment alone are longer than most comment pages.
OK Mr. Russia every time you show up on a comments page all you do is just wave Russia's dick in everyone's face. WE GET IT YOU'RE RUSSIAN. Not like we couldn't tell from your username. s**t the way you tell history you'd think Russia singlehandedly won every single battle of every single war, invented the lightbulb and airplane, wrote all of Shakespeare's plays, and built the pyramids. And hate to break it to you but there's a reason it's World War II not Russo-German War. Millions of German troops were tied up in both Italy and later France due to the Allied invasion there. And yes in invasion of Italy WAS at a crucial moment as Hitler transferred thousands of troops and vehicles from Kursk to stop it. And in case you're forgetting (as most tend to do) there was a war in the Pacific as well. Russia didn't do s**t there until a month before their surrender. How's that for a late entry?
@a floating symbol of death for all humankind@
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesDont be so dramatic - only for the capitalist part of Mankind.
How's that Communism working for you? That's right, you can't even keep your people fed, you pinko fuck.
Breaking news! Breaking news! Communism fell in Russia 20 years ago.
Just so you know; Russia isn't communist anymore. It may also interest you to know that Men have landed on the moon, they made a sequel to Star Wars, videogames come in higher than 16 bit and it's possible to talk to people on the other side of the world useing "Electric Mail", or "E-mail".
So, you're not communist but you're also not included in the capitalist part of mankind? What do you do, just stand around all day watching the snow turn into mud? That sounds like a horrible way to run a country...you should be ashamed.
When American Brains Are Jammed, lol. You know, besides capitalism and communism there are other social concepts on this planet.
There are also more countries in the world besides Russia and the U.S.
If #1 had happened, we'd live in the 1950s themed post-apocalyptic wasteland of the Fallout universe... "I don't want to set the world on fire..."
ReplyI know they arent american,but number 1 reminds me of the british PSA/PIFs called "Protect and Surive" done in the mid 70s instructing you on what to do in case of a nuclear attack.They were never broadcasted,thankfully,but they are now in the public domain,and are available in youtube.Nothing says impending doom like being instructed by a stern british voice and creepy and kitsch animation on how to wrap up your dead loved ones in plastic and taking them out side of your fallout shelter.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI've seen that on YouTube, it's pretty freaky
Wow, I just watched them on YouTube, it's really creepy....
Dear Lord. I watched two of those videos and couldn't watch anymore. I was a kid in the 80's and don't miss that fear at all.
There's a short movie made about #5, called "In Event of Moon Disaster".
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThere's also an audio drama called "Moon Graffiti".
There's also a meal at Denny's called "Moon over My Hammy".
ZCalo221, you had me in tears over that one. You win +5 internets!