5 Turncoats Who Changed the Tide of History
In the grand scale of things, not much changes when a single dude decides he'd rather be a Communist than an American, or vice versa. The balance of power is still basically the same, right?
But every balance has a tipping point, and sometimes all it takes is one turncoat to change the course of history. Like ...
#5. Lee Harvey Oswald
The Man:
The guy who killed President Kennedy, unless you believe the conspiracy theories.
Changed Everything By:
Not long before the Kennedy assassination, Lee Harvey Oswald defected from the Soviet Union to the United States (after first defecting from the USA to the Soviet Union).
If he'd decided to stay there, or not been allowed to leave, JFK would have lived and some alternate version of history would have played out.
Wait, What?
Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a crazed loner -- he didn't shoot JFK because he thought the White House was beaming mind control waves into his brain. He had an actual beef with the American government, and by that we mean he was kind of a communist sympathizer. So much so that, four years before he climbed to the sixth floor of a book depository and became one of the most hated men in American history, he flipped America the middle finger by defecting to the Soviet Union. And since he was just a random, whiny douche at that point, America didn't put up a big fight to keep him. Would you?
Unfortunately for the whole world, life in Soviet Russia wasn't as exciting as Cold War propaganda posters let on. By 1959, the USSR was more like the bleak, gray, impoverished, always-snowing suicide trap you see in photos like these:
Via Russianbooks.org
Those aren't hats.
Oswald had hoped to study at Moscow University, but the Soviets had a job opening for a lathe operator in Minsk, and apparently, in Soviet Russia, the job chose you. (Sorry.) The idealistic Oswald must have been pretty disappointed by what he saw. So did he change his mind, having a revelation that maybe the American way was better? Eh, not exactly.
As Oswald himself wrote in his journal: "I am starting to reconsider my desire about staying. The work is drab, the money I get has nowhere to be spent. No nightclubs or bowling alleys, no places of recreation except the trade union dances. I have had enough."
Getty
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ... Lee Oswald and the Trade Union Dancers!"
Yep, it was the lack of bowling alleys and nightclubs that drove him back to the USA, and back onto the path that would lead him to killing a president.
By all rights, at that point the USA should have told Oswald to go fly a kite, trapping him in Russia where he could never hurt a pinko fly, much less the president. Instead, the United States let the wayward dipshit come home, presumably after a hearty round of "Told you so," and the USSR let him go, presumably because his lathe machine operating skills sucked.
So Oswald comes home and goes nuts, right? Not at first. First he tries to defect to Cuba, since everyone knows the second time is the charm. But this time the U.S. wasn't having it. A few weeks later, President Kennedy decided to visit the home town of a twice-jaded trigger-happy Communist newly enraged at being told he was trapped in America forever, and conspiracy theories notwithstanding, the rest is history.
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"Ironically, I am actually three people."
#4. Vasili Mitrokhin
The Man:
A Soviet spy so shitty at spying that he wasn't allowed to spy any more.
Changed Everything By:
Raiding the Soviet's document archives and turning everything over to the West, giving them a huge advantage in the Cold War.
Via News.bbc.co.uk
And having a mustache that redefined facial hair for fast food restaurant managers worldwide.
Wait, What?
Vasili Mitrokhin began his promising career with the Soviet Motherland as a spy for the KGB. However, in a plot befitting a Steve Carell comedy, he bungled a mission and his employers gave him a new permanent assignment: head of the KGB archives. In other words, they punished him by making him a librarian.
It wasn't this humiliation that turned Mitrokhin against the USSR, but rather what he found when he got there. Access to the Soviet Union's most secret of secret documents revealed the terrifying extent of the nation's efforts to oppress and terrify its own people. And though he'd been losing faith in Stalin's brand of communism for some time, details of events like the crushing of the Prague uprising clinched the deal. The only question was, what kind of damage could one man do to the Soviet Union?
Photos.com
"Let's see how they like it when I steal their most beloved recipes!"
Quite a bit, if that man was left alone in a room full of top-secret Soviet government files and had a lot of free time.
Day by day, Mitrokhin made copies by hand of top-secret Soviet reports and smuggled them back to his summer cabin. Of course, the problem of what to do with them remained. His life-endangering efforts to contact the CIA fell on deaf ears, so he instead attempted to defect to the British. Once the value of the Mitrokhin archive fully came to light, the Brits politely invited Mitrokhin and his family to come stay with them for tea and crumpets and any paperwork he wanted to share. What he brought with him turned out to be "the most complete and extensive intelligence ever received from any source."
Mitrokhin's treasure trove of top-secret intelligence identified scores of Russian spies in frighteningly high-rank government and media positions. It also exposed unknown political alliances the USSR had with other countries and details of secret military operations (including the plot to assassinate Yugoslavian leader Josip Tito). It even included information on Soviet propaganda campaigns within the USA to perpetuate various conspiracy theories (i.e. the JFK assassination, J. Edgar Hoover being gay, the CIA killing Martin Luther King Jr.) and to foster the rise of the KKK. They were like the Gossip Girls of international espionage.
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But, man, could they ever dance.
Though the Soviet Union was already beginning to implode by the time Mitrokhin got his information out, it nevertheless destroyed any leverage the USSR might have had over the West by effectively ending their entire spy program. Who ever said librarians had dead-end careers?
#3. Munir Redfa
Via The Man:
An Iraqi Air Force pilot flying the most advanced aircraft in their arsenal.
Changed Everything By:
Giving Israel intel that may have saved it.
Via Incredibleimages4u.blogspot.com
His high school yearbook voted him Most Likely to Steal a Jet.
Wait, What?
In the 1960s, relations between Israel and the surrounding Arab states were even worse than they are now. Israel was worried because its enemies had a brand new toy that they didn't know anything about -- the Soviet-made warplane called the MiG-21. If tensions in the region were going to escalate into conflict, they wanted to know as much about the jet's capabilities as possible, but they couldn't exactly steal one. The only way they'd get one would be if one of the pilots just flew one into an Israeli hangar. Luckily for Israel, that's exactly what happened.
Munir Redfa was a MiG pilot in the Iraqi Air Force, but unlike most Iraqis, he was a Christian. The Israelis figured this might afford them some leverage, since anyone lucky enough to get promoted to fly the top-secret jets tended to be ultra-patriotic, as the Israelis learned when a previous effort to bribe a pilot got the conspirators put to death. But Christians had a hard time in the Iraqi military (Redfa was even often forced to fly without a full fuel tank, to conserve fuel for his valuable Muslim colleagues), so Redfa was understandably jaded.
Via Incredibleimages4u.blogspot.com
"I shave my mustache in defiance!"
It was just enough to pique his interest when Israeli agents came to him with an offer of one million dollars, as well as protection for his family and guaranteed citizenship and employment in Israel. All he had to do was give them his plane.
So one day, Redfa boarded his plane as usual and took off for a planned flight, but this time he deviated from course and shot off in the general direction of Israel. When radar picked up his unusual detour, the authorities threatened to shoot him down. Redfa acknowledged by turning off his radio and diving below effective radar coverage. Presumably with an extended middle finger, Redfa said goodbye to Iraq as the Soviet-made jet streaked toward its rendezvous with an escort of Israeli Mirage IIIs.
The Israelis studied the hell out of Redfa's MiG, and he helped them by teaching some of their pilots how to fly the thing. They even loaned the jet to the USA once they were done with it, just to stick it to the Russians even more. When the shit finally hit the fan in Israel in the form of the Six-Day War, Israel's mastery of its enemies' secret weapon earned them victory in just, well, six days. So they have one disgruntled Iraqi pilot to thank for being alive to argue with the rest of the Middle East for another half a century.
Watch Oliver Stone's JFK. It is actually more historically accurate than not. We now know RFK and Jacky believed that JFK was killed by a right-wing domestic conspiracy. Too bad RFK got shot in the head before he could get into the White House.
ReplyUm, as far as the opening line, why does deciding to be a communist automatically make you not American. Do you instantly become a Cuban or Chinese?
ReplyBecause it was all but illegal to be a Communist in the US.
Not surprised with the Russians with an attack disguised as a combat drill. Look at how the Egyptians fooled Israel by conducting drills along the Suez Canal and then attacking during the Yom Kippur War. I guess the Russians knew this danger first hand since they provided the latest hardware for the Egyptian Army.
ReplyAwesome article. Munir Redfa entry was probably the was I most enjoyed reading. "His high school yearbook voted him Most Likely to Steal a Jet."
ReplyVery important note:
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesIn the 1960's there was absolutely no descrimination against Christians in Iraq; that's why Redfa was "lucky enough to get promoted to fly the top-secret jets" at a time when African Americans couldn't dream of such an honor in their own country. Plus, there were a lot of Christian Iraqis who were prominent figures in Iraq at that time, like ministers and high-ranking army officers (like Redfa).
And saying that: "(Redfa was even often forced to fly without a full fuel tank, to conserve fuel for his valuable Muslim colleagues), was a very stupid thing to say because they could have simply replaced him with a Muslim pilot or just banned him from flying altogether to save more fuel, and don't forget that the MiG could run out of fuel while flying and fall to the ground and crash causing a huge loss to the Iraqi government in terms of money if they don't care about their pilot because he was a Christian.
Any proof to go with the very important note?
Redfa himself was a living proof of what I said!
The US military was desegregated after WW2 an African American was most certainly able to fly fighters. Ever heard of the Tuskegee Airmen they were black fighter pilots from WW2, before integration took effect.
Why does everyone compare themselves to Americans when someone points ou their countries failings. It's not like the US's failings some how validates everyone elses.
looks like they all missed the plot, alabbasu. you didn't word it as well as you could have, and as a result, people got stuck on that instead of the actual facts. you are absolutely correct, though. redfa would have never been where he was if that kind of discrimination existed.
Interesting note: Igor Gouzenko's story eventually inspired a plot point in a freakin' James Bond novel.
ReplyThat's right; a similar set-up, with Mounties and James Bond protecting a defecting nuclear scientist from getting whacked by SPECTRE, appeared in the James Bond novel "The Spy Who Loved Me".
It's nothing like the movie, but it's still pretty damn good; I'd heartily recommend it, even if you aren't a fan of the series -- it's narrated by the Bond girl, rather than focusing solely on Bond.
And somewhere along the way in his quest for bowling alleys, Lee Harvey Oswald somehow got on both the FBI and the CIA's payroll.
ReplyAnd that's no bullshit, that's a proven fact : the only conspiracy there is that it's been denied for decades, until information requests finally got it out. As far as JFK-related government lies go, that's a pretty damn big one.
So, make what you will of that, but come on, at least don't be so smug about believing this ludicrous fairy tale, you're only embarrassing yourself.
Well, your documentation and sources have certainly convinced me.
The Big Book of Conspiracy Theories has some whacky s**t in it, but the Oswald/CIA/Kennedy stuff is extremely interesting and backed up with sources. I advise you to get your grubby little hands on it peeps!
And Gordievsky quite resemble Spinnaker from The Sum of All Fears.
Reply@eyeknowwhy
ReplyYeah, it is terrible that many died during the bombings, but it was that or the alternative. The alrternative being an invastion that would cost both sides more casualties than the bombings and leave Japan a 3rd world country. At first glance it would definitely seem like a dick move, however there was already an entire operation planned out as an alternative and the extremely high casualty rates expected from the BEST CASE scenarios made the powers that be lean toward the bomb.
You guys .. cool off, 'kay? The article is about turncoats, not the virtue of nuclear bombings.
There's a similar story from the Nazi era in Germany. The head of their atomic weapons development program actually risked his life in lying to the regime about the timetable. They were just about at the point where they could start building models to test when he kind of crunched his numbers one last time and realized just HOW huge an explosion they were talking about. The image gave him the willies and he therefore reported that the program was going to drag on for a number of years still and cost far too much. The Generals weren't happy about it, but they scrapped the project, feeling that they had more urgent business to take care of.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesYes. A Nazi nuclear physicist had more compassion and ethical conscience than, well, you know, some other people who got hold of the work he'd done and then blew up a shitload of innocent people (and came back to do it a second time, too).
Oh, and, in keeping with the theme of the article, I'd say he changed history somewhat, too.
Dude, war is horrible, no matter what side you're on. If you're gonna dog on America for dropping the bomb (regardless of whether it was right or wrong), look up what Dr. Mengele did, or what the Japanese did to the Chinese and Koreans. It all equals out. When people go to war, s****y things happen. Did you expect it to be black and white?
no, I don't expect war to be beautiful but it would be nice for governments to admit when they did horrible things. Germany has come clean and worked VERY hard to make amends, and prosecute war criminals to this day. The main point of my post was that there was another 'turncoat' who had a tremendous effect on history, maybe the biggest ever. As and aside, I'm saying that the bombs were unnecessary and there is hard evidence that Truman knew very well that Japan was on the verge of surrendering. The explosions were basically a test of the technology and the bombings were rushed for that reason. The 'many many lives were saved' story was circulated after critical voices started appearing in the press and in Congress. It was propaganda. And pretty effective propaganda, given that it's the accept version of history today.
If he cared about other human beings, than he clearly wasn't a Nazi, now was he? Not all scientists working for the Nazi government where equally as enthusiastic about their new overlords.
I would point out that the Japanese were so close to surrendering that a cadre of generals tried to depose the emporer when they found out about his planned declaration of surrender, and that their armies in Manchuria and Korea ignored the order and didn't give up 'till the Soviets blew the living crap out of them.
And I would also refer you to the defence drills in which women and the elderly were being trained to charge the invaders with bamboo spears and suicide vests.
@ eyeknowwhy
"no, I don't expect war to be beautiful but it would be nice for governments to admit when they did horrible things."
You mean the way Japan has accepted responsibility for the Rape of Nanking and attempted to make amends for it?
Right on, I hear what you're saying. Funny how all the apologists rise up to justify horrors that they never experienced which were perpetrated not by themselves but by their country they were later born into. Lame. I think there was even some a*****e saying "it all balances out".
Sheeeeeeetttt.
"A Soviet spy so s****y at spying that he wasn't allowed to spy any more"
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI know this is a humour site, but isn't that a bit harsh for someone who you claim "changed the tide of history" in your favour? He may have fucked up, but i cant say a being a spy is exactly an easy thing to do. But this is coming from a cracked writer so what do i know.. i guess i shouldn't care so much about a single sentence but ill be damned if im going to just highlight and backspace what i just spent 15 seconds typing!
It wasn't a humorous article, so your criticism is totally valid.
Tom Clancy's Red Rabbit took some parts of that story.
Yes, if somebody "changed the tide of history," you can never say that person was s****y at anything. He may have fucked up, i.e. he was a s****y spy, but still, it's a bit harsh to then conclude that he was a s****y spy! He changed the tide of history! That's a "get-out-of-being-called-shitty-at-anything-free card!"
It was true though. He was a s****y spy, and he wasn't allowed to spy anymore. He was a brilliant mole, though.
Ah, Mackenzie King. The guy who took governmental advice from his dog and his dead mother. Sure glad he was steering the country during such a time of crisis.
ReplyOnly insane people like King, Churchill, and Patton could combat insane people like Stalin/Hitler.
King was s**t, he couldn't comabat a dead molerat. All he wanted to do was appease the germans and the russians, he didn't want to fight at all. I'd go so far as to call him a worthless excuse for a Prime Minister. He had no balls.
This article is further proof that pissing some people off in the workplace with eventually screw you big time.
ReplyAt least they didn't shoot anyone, while crying, and holding a half empty bottle of scotch.
Great article!
ReplyI should wonder how these people died (Google may be a few clicks away, but that's a few clicks too many). As a wise man once said, "Live like a snitch, die like a bitch."
ReplyI always thought it was "snitches get stitches". Maybe I'm not gangsta enough.
I always thought it was "The Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars, the Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars". I guess I'm not gangsta enough.
So....who killed Kennedy again?
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesTiger got 'im.
The man on a grassy knoll jk...... It's Lee Harvey Oswald.
It was the Comedian.
Kennedy did. Red Dwarf says so.
"he'd rather be a Communist than an American, or vice versa" - so a communist cannot be an american? You have an interesting idea of freedom...
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesPipe down, commie scum.
Silence ! You pinko-nut! Oh and war head... inferring that it was more thought than bias is a bit optimistic.
i see no problem with that statement.
sort of, by definition, no.
Well, in all fairness, America is not a communist country. So, free country or not, it makes it kind of hard to be both an American and a Communist.
From the context of the article, it was pretty clear the author meant the he'd rather *live under Communism*.
You can be a communist and an American at the same time. One is an ideology, and the other is a nationality.
SO pedantic, guy.
"In the grand scale of things, not much changes when a single dude decides he'd rather be a Communist than an American"
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesLike one cannot be both lol.
Of course I understood after reading the entries, but it's still ridiculous to say that.
Seems pretty contradicting to me.
Not really. Since it is possible to be both, it's hardly contradicting. Don't you Americans brag about your freedom of thought and all that?
We don't have freedom of anything. We live in a police state disguised as a democracy. Just look at how they treat the Occupy Wallstreet protestors and how our media lies to us.
Kohlbert, I think you would relate well to Dale Gribble.
Bobblefighter, anyone can have freedom of thought. You probably meant freedom of speech.
What the hell kind of country do you live in that they dictate your THOUGHTS?
So I can infer from this that we would have lost the Cold War if not for the actions of a few traitorous men... A Few Traitorous Men. Why isn't this a movie?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI don't know...unless Clint Eastwood Direct it, Hollywood might give it to Michael Bay and he'll f**k it up.
You Can't HANDLE THE TRUTH ... in slow motion
That is such an awesome movie title.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome ... Lee Oswald and the Trade Union Dancers!" I fell off my chair after I read that.
Reply