6 Mind-Blowingly Huge Versions of Things You Loved as a Kid

Believe it or not, there was a time not too long ago when playing video games, watching animated shows and worshiping Batman were things that only children could do, or were interested in doing. Think about that for a second: If Arkham City had come out 30 years ago, you'd have only noticed when you showed up at your nephew's birthday party.

Well, if we have so transformed the world that our childhood obsessions are now perfectly acceptable at age 30 and beyond, we have a few other things we'd like to bring back. Luckily, some other adults have gotten a head start with ...

#6. The Giant Hot Wheels Track

Part of the appeal of those Hot Wheels tracks that 99.98 percent of the males reading this article played with as a kid is that there's no way they could exist in real life. Those insane twists and loops you sent tiny die-cast model vehicles whipping around looked like something resulting from M.C. Escher's brief stint with NASCAR. And even if they did exist, any race car driver would have to be certifiably insane to agree to ride on even the tamest of these things ...

Hot Wheels Media
"You've taken out an insurance policy on me, haven't you?"

All right, we stand corrected.

That's a life-sized version of Mattel's V-Drop Hot Wheels set, a toy track that is designed to be suspended from the top of a child's bedroom door -- so naturally, they had to build a 10-story-high giant door in order to use it. The bizarre monolith was constructed at the infield of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during the 2011 Indy 500, as part of a publicity stunt aimed at recapturing the attention of lapsed Hot Wheels fans and insane people in general.

Toys 'R' Us
The stunt ended in tragedy when a giant parent walked through the door and stepped on the car while barefoot.

While, sadly, they did not include the ring of fire at the middle (because that would be too dangerous), they did recreate the awesomest part of the set: the 332-foot jump across the infield, which actually broke the previous car-jumping world record by 31 feet of distance and 57 points of sheer holyshitness. You can watch a video of the whole thing here.

AP, via Daily Mail
If they're anything like us, they went through 10 stunt drivers before getting this to work.

It took more than 100 tons of steel and 500 gallons of orange paint to complete the 45-degree ramp, and instead of a little Hot Wheels car, a masked driver drove a specially designed Pro2-style truck, which hit the ramp at over 100 mph. The mystery driver turned out to be X-Games gold medalist and Top Gear co-host Tanner Foust, who said he said he was fulfilling a childhood fantasy: "As a kid playing with Hot Wheels I could only dream of experiencing something as outrageous as a life-sized V-Drop track set, and today it became reality."

Mototrend's Truck Trend
"For my next stunt, I will melt the face of a real-life G.I. Joe."

#5. Insanely Huge Lego Projects

Judging by the number of Star Wars-based Lego kits we've seen lately, we have a sneaking suspicion that most Lego users today are a few decades over the recommended age on the box. And some of them have a lot of time on their hands, apparently: We've told you about the British TV presenter who commissioned a house made out of Lego, but how about the college professor who built a detailed replica of the Ohio Stadium completely by himself?

Fred Squillante, The Columbus Dispatch
He has to live there now.

It took Paul Janssen a million Lego pieces and two years of planning, building, tearing down and rebuilding to complete the stadium, and he didn't even like football when he started it. He just really, really likes Lego.

Something similar happened to Malle Hawking from Munich, Germany, who saw a documentary on aircraft carriers one day and decided to make himself one out of 300,000 tiny plastic bricks.

Brickshelf Gallery
"Each Lego stands for a time I didn't have sex."

The model is actually a replica of the USS Harry S. Truman, one of the largest ships in the world, which he says he copied down to the tiniest detail, including 85 warplanes and more than 5,000 Lego crew members. Hawking and his aircraft carrier attended a Brickworld convention in Chicago in 2007, in which they conquered Lego Poland.

But not all Lego replicas are built to scale -- some of them are full-sized, like the Lego Jesus that stands in a church in Vasteras, Sweden (which probably cost them as much as buying an actual statue).

Lego Jesus
It's either Jesus or Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Not inspiring enough for you? How about an actual-size Lego car? This Lego Ford Explorer, unveiled at Ford's Chicago assembly plan, was created by 22 Legoland experts and took over 2,500 hours to complete.

And it took those children five minutes to tear it apart.

The crazy part: it's not even the only one they've done. The Legoland California staff created an exact replica of a Volvo XC60, and then proceeded to replace their general manager's Volvo at the parking lot as an elaborate practical joke.

That night they did the same prank with his wife.

These cars aren't completely accurate, though, because obviously there isn't a reconstructed Lego motor and Lego seats in there -- that would be crazy. Apparently no one told that to the next guy, though ...

#4. An Entire Car Made From Folded Paper -- Inside and Out

Jonathan Brand

Jonathan Brand from Brooklyn, New York, spent five years restoring a 1969 Mustang, only to sell it so he could buy a diamond engagement ring for his girlfriend. While this decision may baffle some, it makes perfect sense when you think about it: You can't just grab a computer and print yourself a new girlfriend, but you can do that with a 1969 Mustang, apparently ... because that's exactly what Jonathan Brand did. This faithful replica of his old car is made entirely out of folded paper, putting every single paper plane you ever made at school to shame.

Image/photos by Laura DeSantis-Olsson.
He saved a lot of money by printing in fast draft mode.

The whole thing was drawn up as a digital blueprint on a computer, then printed out as numbered and labeled shapes on a large-format inkjet printer. From there it was just a simple matter of folding and gluing the myriad of shapes together, like a huge 3-D jigsaw puzzle. Our point is, the dude printed an entire car and then assembled it. And we mean the whole thing, right down to the (literal) nuts and bolts:

Jonathan Brand

In addition to the body, Brand crafted replicas of the motor:

Image/photo by Laura DeSantis-Olsson.


Image/photo by Laura DeSantis-Olsson.
The entire thing is a crumple zone.


Image/photo by Laura DeSantis-Olsson.
They're probably tougher than Firestone.

And the seats, plus other auto parts we do not know the names of:

Image/photo by Laura DeSantis-Olsson.
Great effort went into making sure the mysterious stains in here looked just right.

The replica was constructed for an art show entitled "One Piece at a Time," inspired by a Johnny Cash song about an auto worker who can't afford to buy one of the cars he assembles and so steals one, piece by piece, in his lunchbox and puts it together at his house. Which wouldn't have been necessary, if only he had a printer.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here


The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!