No comedy would be complete without the Wacky Screwup Brother, the Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover-type who is there to throw a wrench in everything with some sort of stupid scheme (also see: Gob Bluth from Arrested Development). It's not so funny in real life. Especially if, say, the level-headed sibling is one of the world's most powerful people, and the wacky screw-up brother is in a position to cause an international incident.
OK, so maybe it is funny after all.
5Hillary Clinton's Brothers, Tony and Hugh Rodham
While Bill Clinton's coke-addled half-brother, Roger, was a continued embarrassment to his presidency, it can be said he at least caused no major international incidents. The same doesn't exactly apply to his wife's brothers, Tony and Hugh Rodham, who almost cost the United States a crucial ally in Eastern Europe. And, unlike Roger, it wasn't cocaine that screwed everything up -- it was hazelnuts.
Surprisingly, there's no double meaning there. We're talking about the actual nuts.
First off, Tony and Hugh did not exactly have much going for them from the start. While Hillary was off getting a law degree and marrying Bill, her brothers bounced around to various odd jobs such as prison guard and repo man. Then their brother-in-law got elected president in 1992, and they had it made.
At first, Tony and Hugh did little things, like trying to get corporate donations for upcoming election parties, but Hillary had to tell them to knock it off. And then in 1999, they teamed up for a get rich quick scheme to import hazelnuts from the country of Georgia. It doesn't seem like the kind of thing that they could fuck up on an "international incident" scale, but like wacky sitcom brothers, they found a way.
They're just short of trying to save the local teen center with dance.
The problem was that the U.S. government needed to stay on good terms with Georgia's government, since they were helping out during the war in Kosovo. America was thus friendly with Georgian president Eduard Shevardnadze. But the guy in charge of the hazelnut company the Rodham brothers were dealing with was Aslan Abashidze, Shevardnadze's archenemy.
So when word of this hazelnut deal got out with the Clinton in-laws attached, it made the Clintons look like they were working against the Georgian president behind the scenes.
The Clintons asked the Rodham brothers to drop it for the good of, you know, not destabilizing a former hostile Soviet territory. They actually refused for a while, before finally agreeing to let it go for the good of Georgia. Since then, Hillary has kept the two out of the public eye, despite them wanting to help her campaigns. If she'd become president in 2008, we're thinking that by now at least one of these guys would have come up with a hair-brained scheme to sell the nuclear arsenal to a dude they knew in college.
Fuckin' Gary, man. Guy's a trip.