3Napoleon's Sister Pauline Bonaparte
Proving that it's not always brothers who can cause damage, Pauline Bonaparte was a prime example of a sister that caused international incidents just by being herself.
The younger sister of the French dictator Napoleon Bonaparte, Pauline was only a minor noble, but she lived like a queen. Not one to care for things like human dignity, she would often have servants lie on their hands and knees and use them as footstools.
"Human dignity is the most expensive furniture there is."
Though it's a little hard to tell from this or almost any other old painting, Pauline was incredibly hot, and she knew it. She didn't really aspire to much other than a life of leisure and/or adultery, and she seemed to enjoy the scandals she regularly caused. As her brother was taking control of France, trying to cross the Alps and get pastries named after him, she was begging him for favors, money and positions of power, despite her well-earned reputation as a drunk who would sleep with anyone over middle class.
"Whatever, dickhead, just paint my nipples and then whip out your junk."
With stories of his floozy sister's escapades being spread far and wide, it was finally time to take action. Mulling it over, Napoleon decided to do for her what he did for all his other brothers and sisters wanting more power: He gave her a recently conquered country to rule. And somehow, though he conquered most of the civilized world, he apparently had no foresight for how this scheme would turn out. Hey, remember when we joked that Hillary's brothers would have pawned the nuclear arsenal if given the chance? Yeah, it turned out like that.
Pauline ended up with the country of Guastalla, a small, douchey city-state in Italy. She threw a fit, but Napoleon was relieved and went back to work trying to take over Europe and finally kill his fictional nemesis, Richard Sharpe. But not too long after, Pauline was back in France, simply telling her brother she had grown bored with Guastalla and had, yes, sold the entire country to the neighboring kingdom of Parma for six million francs.
"Hey, the pawn shop was closed, and I was out of booze."
2The Brother of One of the World's Richest Men, Jefri Bolkiah
Before Bill Gates starting taking the title of World's Richest Man every year, the title usually went to the Sultan of Brunei, Hassanal Bolkiah. In 2009 he made the list of the world's richest royals with a net worth of $20 billion.
And $2.8 billion in shiny medals.
He's called the Sultan of Brunei because Brunei is a small country in Southeast Asia on the island of Borneo, made insanely rich by, you guessed it, oil and natural gas. And like many countries that control vast amounts of resources, Brunei is family owned, in this case by a sultanship. Which means any family member can fill any important government position.
You can guess where this is going.
The Sultan of Brunei's brother Jefri Bolkiah was a bit of a troublemaker. Initially he got into the press due to his escapades with his harem of over 40 women. Eventually things got embarrassing enough that the sultan gave him the job of finance minister, just to keep him out of the papers (because who cares about the minister of finance?), thinking he couldn't do any real damage there.
If your brother sports a porn-stache, just assume the worst no matter what.
Afterward he went on the kind of spending spree that only a billionaire could manage. Jefri didn't buy luxuyry goods -- he bought entire luxury goods stores. Also, fleets of cars and airplanes, yachts, chains of hotels, etc. He even flew women into Brunei to sexually abuse. Nice guy.
After the Asian markets collapsed in the late 1990s, Brunei's accountants soon noticed the $14 billion and followed the trail to Prince Jefri.
And by trail, we mean row after row of luxury yachts clogging up the harbor.
Naturally the sultan got pissed when he found out Jefri had siphoned a good 10 percent or so of the country's funds over the course of 12 years. The sultan tried to grab him before other countries or fellow Brunei citizens could, but Jefri skipped the country. So Hassanal simply banned him from the country for the next decade, with Jefri not being allowed back until 2009. After all, what's a little $14 billion among family?
The United States and United Kingdom brought several court cases, costing Brunei millions more to settle lawsuits caused by Jefri's misdoings. Brunei's reputation was ruined, the sultan still loses millions each year and Jefri is currently under virtual house arrest for pretty much the biggest embezzling job in history. Most importantly, though, this has probably led to some of the most awkward family dinners ever.
Via Daily Mail
"Sorry, guys, but I ate all the food that I didn't already fuck."