Insects and arachnids, like humans, have their superheroes with incredible powers. The only difference is that their superheroes are real, and consistently more impressive than the human version.
Just consider ...
7The Spider With a Web 25 Times Stronger Than Steel
In all likelihood, the first three things you learned from Spider-Man was: spider senses blah blah blah, with great power comes yadda yadda and spider webbing is about five times as strong as high-grade steel, pound for pound. It's also waterproof and completely immune to bacteria and fungus, as if to mock us with the fact that nothing that makes up our bodies or anything associated with our lives is even close to as god-awesome-incredible as what dribbles off the backside of a spider.
And it does all of that without a cape!
Which brings us to Darwin's bark spider, a native of Madagascar and the granddaddy of all web secretors. It produces the strongest natural substance on the face of the Earth. These eight-legged bug munchers' webbing is 10 times stronger than Kevlar (the shit they make bulletproof vests out of) and a whopping 25 times stronger than steel. Oh, and it also easily beats out titanium, tungsten and pretty much any other metal around.
This is what our troops should be wearing.
We're sorry to say the reason the bark spider needs its butt-adamantium is the exact one you were secretly afraid of: it makes some of the largest webs on the planet that can reach over 80 feet in length. Bark spiders like to build their lairs above rivers and lakes where they don't have to compete with their lesser brethren.
We're pretty sure those are eagles.
They totally weave their webs from one bank to the other, too. Scientists are not sure how they manage that. Let's just assume they utilize wind or build a raft of enemy corpses or something. We mean, it's not as if spiders can walk on water or anything ...
6The Spider That Walks on Water
... except, of course, this one.
Which bears a distinct resemblance to Martin Landau.
Spiders are one of the few creatures on Earth capable of turning the majority of people into screaming sacks of meat stewing in their own fear piss. Spiders are terrifying by default and (as we've shown you before) have the potential to be even more terrifying. Luckily though, spiders -- like all good supervillains -- have one major weakness: water, that wonderful substance able to turn them from a terrifying foe into a laughable mass of flailing limbs.
Got your back, bro!
And then there is the fishing spider. So named because of, no shit, its ability to fish, and by "fish" we mean "plunge its legs beneath the water's surface, grab its prey and tear it off to land." It achieves this by walking on the surface like it ain't no thing.
The fishing spider sneaks up to fish by dancing on the surface tension of water, then attacks them from above like a furry, eight-legged angel of death (the worst kind, as death angels go). More often than not, the end result is this:
If it makes you feel any better, that fish was kind of an asshole.
We never said it was a tiny spider, remember? That was just your wishful thinking.
But so what if it can swim, right? Just throw stones at it or kick it underwater or something. If you sink it, it drowns. Right?
Wrong! By trapping air in its fur, a fishing spider can stay submerged for almost 45 minutes. It is also an excellent swimmer, because fuck you, humanity. Signed, Nature.
What the hell, water? You were supposed to have our back.