No matter how far back you go, dick jokes have been the driving force behind mankind's sense of humor. Even ancient figures and civilizations we tend to think of as wise and dignified weren't shy about whipping out some solid boner jokes, even when creating works of art for royalty.
Which is why we wound up with ...
8The Medieval Dick Tree
When we think of Medieval Italy, we think of what was arguably the cultural hub of the Middle Ages -- the birthplace of the Renaissance, Machiavelli, Dante and da Vinci.
Their influence is still felt today.
Italy saw the development of some of the most enduring literature, sculpture and art the world has ever seen. It also produced a painting of a tree of dicks.
Pictured: a tree of dicks, and what appears to be Snoopy's dog house.
Now before you light up the comments section claiming that this isn't a tree of dicks but merely a bunch of dicks standing around a tree, take a closer look at the branches:
What's going on here? Nobody really knows. Some think the dicks are meant to symbolize fertility, while others argue that the dicks are actually there as part of a political propaganda movement against a rival faction, because when you want to crush someone's spirits, you make a crude painting of some dudes in a penis grove getting attacked by crows. We like to believe that the artist just got so tired of painting historical battles and scenes from the Bible that he went dick crazy.
"To hell with Leviticus. The next 30 pages are all dicks."
7Medieval Monks Doodle Poop Jokes (and Worse) on Their Scrolls
Medieval monks were even more dedicated than medieval painters. They would literally spend years hunched over their work in dimly lit scriptoria, slaving away to produce stunning illuminated manuscripts, painstakingly reproducing and illustrating the world's knowledge so it wouldn't be lost. Being the keepers of recorded human history combined with their devotion to religion tends to make us think of them as infinitely wise and spiritual, sort of like if Jesus and Morgan Freeman teamed up to open a library.
They're basically the same person.
With all the limits their work and their religious vows put on them, the monks needed a way of entertaining themselves, and what they came up with was marginalia. Marginalia are little doodles at the edges of manuscripts, and they are not only irrelevant to the text, but also completely and utterly fucked up beyond anything that could be mistaken for rational thought. We can only assume that the monks either thought nobody would ever notice (since pretty much the only people who could read and write back then were other monks), or they just didn't give a shit.
Here we have a stork with a man-ass and a giant dangling scrotum shitting out Ernest Hemingway:
You describe it better.
And here's a goat farting diarrhea at a squire:
There are hundreds of these drawings, and each one does its best to defy any kind of explanation.
They're essentially the medieval equivalent of a Monty Python cartoon.