If Classic Fables Actually Told the Truth [COMIC]
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Bahaha m***********g genius, especially the boy who cried wolf, but especially all of them.
Reply1. If the tortoise had any sense at all, he would have ignored the stupid hare and never challenged him to a race.
Reply2. If the hare had any sense at all, he wouldn't have stopped to NAP in the middle of the race and just won.
I have a better, less depressing and equally accurate moral for the tortoise and the Hair. "One should not compete in events one is clearly not equipped to compete in."
Replylike a spelling bee. it's a "hare".
The second one is basically the plot of The Pearl by Steinbeck.
ReplyThere once was a spambot named WAIMSAY. He exploded, then came back to life, changed his name, and now makes hilarious videos under the name SWAIM.
ReplyThe lesson: Become a spambot, live forever.
An ugly duckling grew up to be a beautiful swan. But because he still lived among ducks, they still thought of him as an overgrown freak of nature, because the dominant society sets the beauty standards, as bullshit as they are.
ReplyThere was once an ugly duckling who was teased for his appearance. He was sad and lonely, but when he grew up he became a beautiful swan who was prone to shake his beatiful gleaming feathers while floating on the water. Unfortunately for him, who had turned out to be a gay swan, the others swans were bigots and they murdered him. Moral: either conform, or don't try to be accepted as you are.
Replyit's called the ugly barnicle. once there was this ugly barnicle, he was so ugly that everyone died. the end.
Reply"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?"
ReplyFuturama FTW!
Futurama
It was chicken little, not henny penny.
ReplyThey're both interchangable :P The story's main character is known as Henny Penny and sometimes as Chicken Little.
(insert advertisement here)
Reply"Moral: It is a fine thing to be a patron of the arts"
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesThank you!!! Seriously, thank you!
I'll amend that to say "It is a fine thing to be a patron of the arts, but you'd better figure out how to f**king feed yourself while you're at it, instead of planning to mooch off of people who actually WORK for a living."
Some of us do and you need to get a f*****g life, Mr. Tea
Mr.Tea how do you think bands get payed thousands if not millions to play a couple songs, same thing with professional sports
Right, because artists are incapable of making money and every single one of them is a lazy a*****e who provides nothing of any value. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Tea.
Mr. Tea: The ant is the patron, not the grasshopper. He's saying that it's a fine thing to support artists, not to be one. Using English properly is an art in itself.
Being a professionally trained musician is infact more than just a hobby, did you know, that when you hear musicians playing in restaurants they're not doing it for f*****g free?
Actually most of Aesop's fables are pragmatic rather than goody-goody, and do tell the truth about human nature, which is why they're still repeated centuries later.
ReplyI admit I always did feel a little sorry for the grasshopper though.
Totally, the ant could have seriously guilt-tripped the grasshopper, but still let him in. That would be enough, I think.
Stories for harder times than these. You will never have to decide whether to feed a starving stranger and deal with rationing your food and going hungry or ignoring the stranger and having enough to eat. Hunger sucks a lot.
I love it!
ReplyLoved the one about the hare and the tortoise! :P
ReplyMost Aesop's fables are really useful (Fox and the Crow, Fox and Grapes, Fox and Lions, Oak and the Reeds, Birds-Beasts-Bat, and yes, really, the Ant and the Grasshopper). Others are kind of stupid. The ones about the Satyr who kicks a man out of his house because he blows on his soup to cool it off, and the man who has two wives to pluck out his hair, come to mind.
ReplyDude was waaay into foxes.
No lesson for The Ugly Barnacle?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesWell it was full of realistic truth anyway.
The lesson is that life is a horrible, horrible thing, especially if your a mollusk.
At least they have really, really big penises.
f**king Fatanstic
ReplyLast one should say "Sklobal Warming."
ReplyTopical is interesting!
obvious troll is etc.
I loved the last one.
Reply