#2. The Luke Arm
In the finale of Empire, Vader cuts off Luke's hand after pulling a Maury and revealing that he is, in fact, the father. In the movie, Luke is promptly re-fitted with a bionic hand that gives him back all the function of his original mitts, while in reality, he'd just go on disability and get a hook to scare all the kids and open all the beers. Fortunately, with significant breakthroughs in the field of prosthetics, bionic limbs are now very close to being a viable option for us.
Just a few more years and we can say goodbye to these fleshy bags of failure forever.
Touch Bionics, Inc. has developed a robotic hand with never before seen sensitivity, called the I-Limb Pulse. It's a breakthrough design that not only allows for greater control, but greater strength as well: It can bear up to 200 pounds, much more than a normal hand (just be careful with your "personal time," as there is substantially less research going into superior bionic phalluses).
The big deal about the I-Limb isn't the preternatural strength, however; it's the small increments of grip it can dole out in response to electrical pulses. This allows for a smoother, more precise motion, much closer to that of a real hand. It gives such fine control, in fact, that users can do simple but intricate tasks like tying their own shoelaces. The hand has also been integrated with MyBioSim software, which allows the user to enable a Bluetooth connection to their home computer or wireless phone. You know, just in case you feel like opening up control of your supernaturally strong limbs to hackers, or handing over their function over to the trusting arms of Microsoft.
Image via Touch Bionics
Fatal errors are now terrifying literal.
#1. Force Fields
In the Star Wars universe, force fields are shown as impenetrable walls of awesome sauce that keep blaster fire from harming the ships. The military defense department thought that was pretty cool, and having no concept of human limitations, decided to just up and build one. However, the Army's version is formatted to target RPGs rather than lasers and the psychic powers of interstellar farmboys. Back in 2002, they began testing these new force fields for use in Iraq on small carrier vehicles and, holy shit, the tests were successful. The force field detected all incoming attacks, and zapped the grenades with hundreds of thousands of volts of electricity, thus disarming the devices and crushing them into debris which passed safely around the vehicle.
Finally, the U.S. Military has a practical solution to the Jedi menace.
These real-life force fields are made up of a series of metal plates installed directly to the exterior of a vehicle, and they're said to offer the same protection of a tank with only 1/20th of the weight. This isn't just theoretical labwork, tested once and returned: The force-field equipped army vehicles were introduced into Iraq and Afghanistan back in 2005, and according to their producer, BaeSystems, they've successfully survived live fire many times. The fact that there's still a war at all when our enemies see that we have fucking forcefields now is either a testament to Al Qaeda's psychotic bravado, or to their extreme retardation. We assume a combination of the two.
Image via hight3ch.com
We call that combination "bretarvo"
Mohammed Shariff is a genius who graduated high school at age 15, he would have graduated at 12 but he wanted a social life. If you contact him firstname.lastname@example.org he can edit a college paper for you for a small fee.
For the implications of some of our most dreamed about sci-fi gadgetry, check out 5 Awesome Sci-Fi Inventions (That Would Actually Suck). Or learn the truth behind 7 High Tech Products And Their Cheap Ass Ingredients .