8 Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews: Pt. 2

#4. Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point, Black

Amazon.co.uk brings us some of that trademark dry British "humour" (it is like "humor" but metric) in a whopping 224 reviews of an ordinary Bic ballpoint pen.

Satire is out in full swing as reviewers skewer the digital age with fairly fresh takes on the "this generation doesn't remember how pens work" joke.

As good as some pointed social commentary can be, however, sometimes a person just likes to see a couple of penis jokes.

#3. Elephant Camouflage Kit

Those of you who care about things like "reality" and "truth" probably want to know if this is an actual product because you have lost your sense of childlike wonder. Fine. Proporta is a real company that makes mostly electronic accessories. For "humour" purposes (they are also British), they've listed this fake product on their own website for about $1.5 million, and when they ported their store to Amazon, that product got put up too.

Which is good news for us because that means it's open to Amazon user reviews, from good old straight-up sarcasm:

To some fine elephant dong jokes (that's the censored word there, if you live in a bubble):

#2. Nuclear Duct Tape (Slate Blue)

Official name: 3M 8979N Performance Plus Nuclear Duct Tape, Slate Blue 48mm Wide x 54.8M Long

You're probably wondering what is so "nuclear" about this duct tape, and if it's really that important that it's slate blue. Well, yes. According to the product description: "The slate blue color makes it ideal for use in nuclear tape facilities and it is certified for low leachable halogens and sulfur."

Apparently people who only use it to block low leachable halogens and sulfur are unambitious pussies because Amazon reviewers really seem to be getting 110 percent out of this tape.

#1. English Grammar for Dummies

And finally, did you realize that one ethnic group that it's still totally OK to caricature for humor purposes is Russians? I'm just saying, get 'em in while you still can.

And be sure to check out our sarcastic reviews on everything in the world in our bestselling book.

For more from Christina, check out 6 Ways Cities Are Getting Into the Attention-Whore Game and A History of Pop Culture's Obsession with Human/Cat Hybrids.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here

690 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!