5 Bizarre Brain Hacks That Make You Better at Sports

Sports drinks are a huge business -- Gatorade alone makes well over a billion dollars a year. And the reason so many athletes swear by them is the promise of increased performance, replacing all those vital nutrients lost during exercise, just like the ads say.

"GIVE ME SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT!"
It turns out, however, that all that electrolyte and re-hydration technology is nothing compared to the simple pleasure of having a bunch of sugar in your mouth.
Wait, what?
A study found that sports drinks work because they activate the pleasure center of your brain. You don't even have to drink them, just swishing some around in your mouth and spitting it out has the same effect.

However, motor oil will not "unlock the power" like the bottle says.
The carbohydrates in the drink stimulate receptors in your mouth that then send your brain messages that things are all totally cool. Your brain, in turn, becomes more active in the pleasure center, allowing you to enjoy feeling the burn far longer than some idiot without a sugary drink. It also stimulates the part of your brain in charge of movement control. So not only will you be content while kicking your water-drinking opponent's ass, you'll actually be kicking it harder.


At some point, we've all at least been near a television while a women's tennis match was on and (even if briefly) mistaken the sounds for porn. Particularly the noises Monica Seles used to make. Grunting, and sometimes almost screaming, is common place for many male and female athletes and while it might seen ridiculous and distracting, according to one study, grunting in tennis actually helps those players win.

But the right clothes make you famous.
Wait, what?
Now as intuitive as it may seem that grunting would help put more muscle into a swing (like karate guys screaming "HIYAA!!" when they hit you), that's not what the study suggested.
Instead, the grunt is effective because it can disorient the opponent. Even when a non-grunting tennis player is used to playing someone who makes a lot of noise, each and every grunt in every match actively affects the tennis player's ability to return the ball. This is likely a result of the shock the sound causes on the opponent, making it harder for him/her to perceive where the ball is at any given time. It also, drastically slows the reaction time of someone trying to return a serve from a heavy grunter; after a player grunts, the ball will travel on average two feet further before being returned than it would have with no noise at all.

So if you like to make noise on the court, it might not be winning you any friends but it very well could win you the game. Isn't that what's really important? And you know what would really give you an advantage: combining grunting with the singing thing earlier. Time to start memorizing some Nickelback lyrics, baby!

For more bizarre determining factors, check out 7 Life Altering Decisions Made For You (Before Your Birth) and 6 Ridiculous Factors That Determine Who Wins The Super Bowl.








"paralysis by analysis; and the more talented you are the more working memory you have meaning the harder the failure."
ReplySo the 2011 Packers should've started singing a kesha song or something before that playoff game?
One hockey game I went around making the grunt that E-40 (the rapper) makes and I had the most embarrassing performance of my life. I also played incredibly well!! Yay for grunting!!
ReplyThundercats reference. Awesome.
ReplyHuh. Had no idea singing was really a thing. But I remember when I was in karate and had a really complicated kata to learn in just a week, I learned it to the tune of "Mrs. Robinson." Performed it for the sensei singing the song in my head the whole time. Passed.
ReplyI guess that's what helped Vernon Davis and the 9ers vs.... oh wait never mind.
Replyallowing you to enjoy feeling the burn far longer than some idiot without a sugary drink - lmfaoooooo
ReplyLmfao indeed.
I wonder if that thing about the color red had anything to do with the redcoats winning so much. They only stopped with the Boer War in the late 1800's and look what its gotten them, they've needed to get bailed out of two wars and lost most of an empire. Maybe if they started wearing red again they would start kicking more ass.
Replyso singing helps mitigigate or prevent choking on the big stage? What if u were in a free style rap battle though (it's not a sport, but i would think same principle applies)
Replynot really, because free style rapping doesnt rely on muscle memory to do the activity/sport.......
My school football team wears red and they suck harder than Lindsay Lohan trying to get in another movie to support her cocaine addiction
ReplyYou wrote that comment just to be able to use the Lohan thing one of your friends told you, didn't you?
#4 explains a lot about Manchester United and Manchester City...
Replyliverpool is an exception
It's only sexy to hear the girls do it on tv. In real life female pro tennis stars are as loud as airplanes when they grunt.
Replywho is the man in the second picture under #4? hes sexy.
ReplyIts English Footballer Michael Owen
The Cracked comments section: Helping girls find bean-flicking material since 1958!
"This man will humiliate you on the field and then take your girlfriend."
ReplyJohn Terry would have been perfect for this picture given his recent Captainship of England
Huh, choking is a huge problem for me when playing Halo... maybe I should start singing while I'm playing? :P
ReplyIt would certainly distract your opponent if you're using a microphone.
There's a circle of hell reserved for people who sing over Xbox Live. It's full of monkeys that force you to sing Justin Bieber Karaoke into a loudspeaker that's pumped directly into your eardrum, and then they punch you in the stomach when you stop to breath. If you refuse to sing, they fist your anus. Elbow deep.
Lol, the Glee football players are wearing red xD
Reply"And you know what would really give you an advantage: combining grunting with the singing thing earlier. Time to start memorizing some Nickelback lyrics, baby!"
Replyf**k you
ahh another loser who hates nickelback because they get more p***y than u will ever see and more money than u could ever imagine. Figures
Clearly, the reason we grunt when we lift heavy objects is because we want to disorient gravity.
ReplyI do j*panese swordsmanship, and to be good at it you need to make your breathing your b***h. According to what everyone says, war cries serve both purposes: They help disorient your opponent AND make your moves more powerful. It's easier to exert myself when I'm exhaling; no amount of studies can change my mind on that.
Simple biology; exhaling, especially forcefully as in a kiai activates your core muscles (ie your abs are accessory muscles to forced exhalation). A strong core helps you conduct force from legs to arms.
I don't discount the probable effect that shouting has on an opponent. Try to keep your eyes open at a gun range or something. You're trying to activate a primal startle reflex in the other player for whatever tiny advantage it offers.
#3 happens to me all the time when playing hockey. I always try to stop because i think its a distraction. My mind is kinda blown right now.
ReplyThat's why you hear people yelling in martial arts, it helps focus you energy and make you punch harder
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesActually, according to the article, it just distracts your opponent.
I finger f**ked a dwarf.
so you masturbated?
yet they do it even when not facing a real opponent. Dragon is right.. marital artists usually do this to hit harder.. to force out the oxygen, kinda like when lifting weights, you should exhale during the lift, and inhale when resetting.
also it just sounds cool and can intimidate the crap out of people... and having fought a person who yells constantly it is also very distracting.. so there's that too.
If the excessive celebration thing was true the Cincinati Bengals would be undefeated forever. The combo of Ocho Cinco and T O would cause them to win games they never even played in.
Replyhaha I was thinking about TO the whole time I read that part.