How to Dream Of What Might Have Been [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How to Understand a Baffling Ad Campaign and How to Lose at Scrabble With Dignity.
Snerk. I like the last line a lot.
ReplyPanel 2.
ReplyNot funny. Although the main character reminds me of a guy in college. It helps make it a bit funnier, though.
Replyf**k me. Not even the mustachioed, mullet-clad goon in the jacket saved this one for me.
Replyi liked it.
Reply=/
ReplyMy daydreams inform me that 38 comments are not enough for this comic.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesTFTFY.
And what does that stand for? "Too fat to f**k you?"
Lol
You win a bucket of b*****bs, Anonymouse :)
The joke with that line is that it's a minister's JOB to force his idea of morality on you.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThanks. Explaining jokes always makes them funnier.
Your reply is funny because its sarcastic!
And mine (hopefully, depending on your sense of humor) is funny because I'm ignoring yours even as I explain it!
Actually you're all just douches.
"How dare you force your idea of morality on me?" Is one of the best lines I've ever read. It's a perfect defense for every moralist out there.
ReplyThis isn't even a comic. You could just put all the lines in Notepad and picture a bald guy saying those lines for the same effect.
ReplyNo s**t. The lines are funny and it's a comic because you don't HAVE to picture it. They do it for you.
This was on the homepage yesterday, but the link just redirected you to the homepage. I thought the joke was that the comic was something that "might have been" but you didn't get to read it because you were redirected to the homepage. Turns out they just screwed up. Hm.
ReplyI think that would have been a lot funnier.
Naw. If the congregation believes ministers make good money, they'll give less to make sure you stay humble. Sort of like how the pastor always needs a new suit, but if he can afford one, he's obviously overpaid.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesYeah, try telling that to the dozens of "mega-church" pastors who show up in ferraris who's flock give more and more to because "They want their pastors to live lives of comfort and never have to toil so they can focus more time on their relationship to g*d..."
Is god censored now?
Sorry bud, that's not how the world works.
I suspect J242 was self-censoring, but we shall see as we invoke the name of God by saying God Damn It!
Wait - megdoll's use was not censored, so my conclusion was correct without need of further proof!
Then too, mayhaps J242 is specifically being censored while the rest of us are not. In which case, God help J242. Or G*d, apparently.
I don't really understand why so many people hate this comic. Some of the comics aren't very funny, but many are.
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesI don't really understand why so many people who hate this comic keep coming back to read it.
I don't understand why so many people who like this comic complain about people who don't.
I just don't get math.
f**kin' comics, how do they work?
BlueAgent... you may consider talking to a scientist. But I warn you not to, for they will only twist truths with their snake tongues.
I don't get why the only complaint is, "I thought it would get better but I was wrong!"
If people hate the comic, then they can at least point out WHAT they hate
comics are miracles
I love these replies :)
I laughed by the third one. Unlike the comic.
This was the best one you've written in a while. Thanks.
ReplyLooks like Scott Meyer has squeezed out another stink pickle from his bulbous ass onto the internet once again.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI respect the graphic analogy, but still. f**k. you. Basic Instructions is hilarious.
YOU WILL LEARN
Seconded
@diphycue
You know, it's hard to figure out if you are seconding the original post or the reply.
^^Seconded.
Not bad.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesDid you notice how the characters do a lot of gesticulating?
They could have taken it one step further and been testiculating (the urban definition of, not the conventional...)
my bowls just gesticulated.
LOL, ButtChocolate. If I'm not mistaken, that is not a terribly different thing from a troll.
Of course, if you're a Jew, never mind.
Of course, if you're a woman, never mind.
Of course, if you're a black person, never mind.
Of course, if you're a Christian, never mind.
Of course, if you are not white and male, never mind.
Oh, just... never mind.
You know that thing you always click on and read but hate it? Usually, that's what this comic is for me, but this one was much better.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI read this column all the time and constantly hate it.
Today is, unfortunately, no different.
"I read this column all the time and constantly hate it."
You really have a life worth living, don't you?
They say that the line between love and hate is a thin one.
Under that rubric, it is actually not at all surprising to find people who do NOT like something continuing to read it just as you find people who DO like it continuing to read it.
The latter love it, the former love to hate it. Small difference.
Haha, great, although I had to re-read it, since in Europe ministers aren't priest-people. They're a bit like senators.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesYeah that confused me too. Also that neither definition of minister make much money. And then the jokes were lost on me through all the confusion.
Thank you for posting, the both of yas. This is a point that had not occurred to me, and you have enriched my life in a small way.
Wow, our senators make s**t-tons of money.
I'm from Canada, and I had a moment of the same thing, since a minister in Canada holds an official position in the ruling party in Parliament (like Minister of Finance).
ministers make a lot of money, an minister in my city just got himself two houses for 2 million euro with taxmoney(not his minister loan).
Splendid!
Reply