How to Evaluate a Stupid News Story [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How to Take 15 Minutes to Make One Simple Decision and How to Tell If She's Into You Or High On Cough Syrup.
I thought this was supposed to be a Humor site. Why does this webcomic keep getting posted?
ReplyDidn't you already submit this weeks ago?
Replythis comic is s**t
ReplyThe whole astrology has changed story is a repost. The same story came out in the 80s. I guess palm readers are feeling the economic crunch too and need media sensationalism too.
ReplyIt stuck in j*pan.
Funny how most people just started discussing this whole astrology change... anyway, i liked this basic instruction :) like always
ReplyIt supposedly only applies to those born in 2009 or 2010 and later.
ReplyApparently when this was in the news, no one bothered to read the whole thing.
That's the funniest part - the change has been gradual over the years (couple of centuries?), but it only applies to those born in 2009 or 2010 and later.
Incidentally, wherever this notion comes from - does that mean that there will now be two *different* horoscopes out there to consult for advice on one's love life or whatever?
Since some of this stuff is so generic, I guess they can add the new one without having to steal stuff from the old ones exactly...
I think I love Basic Instructions now.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesI'm all for Skyrim in 11.11.11. but did you honestly have to go and create a username out of something mentioned in a GI article?
this would be where i insult you about being such nerds, but i know exactly what you are talking about so i'll just go now.
I don't know what the f**k your on about, nerds.
Ok, nerds. Go make me a sandwich. Or I'll PUNCH YOU IN THE f**kING FACE and/or KICK IN THE DICK.
Sudo make me a sandwich?
^^ Excellent quote from a webcomic that is ACTUALLY funny.
I think I love Basic Instructions now.
ReplyPERHAAAPS!
D:< REVAAANGE!
Conditions in the environment at time of birth changes the development of the individual accordingly? seems plausible to me.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesMaybe it's not the position of the stars but rather the weather conditions expected at that time or something else, but as a scientist I refuse to let go of the posibility just because it's not popular -anymore-. This could be studied. Should this be studied? Maybe... I can think of a few applications and I'm sure smarter men have even more.
You're a scientist? Do you really think that the "month" you're born in effects individual development? Really? Even though the idea of months are social constructs. The time of birth is probably more strongly correlated to development then the month. And yes different months tend to have different weather but what about on the global scale? Horoscopes are foolish no matter what way you frame it. Theres billions of people on Earth and 12 (or 13) different horoscopes. How about just letting outdated ideas die.
It is possible, the diet of the mother CAN affect the child, as well as other factors, perhaps in ancient time, the astrological signs could have been a way to measure these factors that can affect the child.... I am not saying im positive, but I also can't say that its impossible.
It's entirely plausible that it used to predict sweeping generalities based on diets at a certain time of year, as Vrix stated. Of course, there are always exceptions, and with the modern conveniences of green houses and grocery stores, year round produce would sort of throw off the whole dietary development angle.
tl;dr: Just because it's outdated doesn't mean it wasn't accurate BEFORE.
"How about just letting outdated ideas die."
You must have really hated history class.
turtledude, the fact that "months" are social constructs is only partially true - they were constructed to deal with certain realities of life on Earth - like the passage of years with recurring events such as the seasons.
If, I say *if* one is of the opinion that astronomical or celestial objects affect things such as birth, it would not be because of "October", for example, but because of the time of year that is represented by our made up definition, "October".
"October" may not be real but that specific time of the year is real and occurs, obviously, on a yearly basis, which term is yet another "socially constructed" one (year). These terms were created to help us define observable reality, not simply out of the blue and for the hell of it.
'Course, I hardly think you don't actually know this already.
LQ
ReplyBasic Instructions rocks, keep it up! haters gonna hate
Reply.. and yet, basic hate rocks too. Be fair. Instructors gonna instruct.
I enjoy Basic Instructions. At the very least, it's diverting; often, it's amusing; and sometimes it makes me laugh. Sometimes I'm afraid Cracked will stop featuring it because of all the negative comments. Just so the world knows, not all of us dislike Basic Instructions.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHave they stopped featuring Cody?
Touche, Grizz. If Cracked stopped featuring things based on negative comments, Cody would have been sacked in his first week, Christina H. would have gotten a male pen name, and Gladstone probably would have stopped making videos a long time ago.
You could always read them on the Basic Instructions site. Then you get to read more of them and don't have to worry about them ending.
Go back to treasure island, f*g!
Reply"Unimportant change, changes something unimportant."
Replylove it
You guys, the precession of the equinoxes has taken place gradually over the milennia. The earth didn't just veer hard left one afternoon and throw off the zodiac... it's just that the dates for the astrological signs were taken from some guy's observations hundreds of years ago and haven't been updated since.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesIt's really too bad people are too dumb to realize this. When everyone started freaking out about it a few weeks ago I wept for humanity.
Yeah, if that had happened we'd have damned well noticed.
Oh, those idiots. Failing to properly understand silly superstitions. I hear some of them don't even believe that thunder causes milk to go sour! Ha!
The point is, if you are... unreasonable... enough to buy this garbage in the first place, the garbage you have been buying has steadily been going off the edge of the flat earth as we know it!
It doesn't really matter all that much to realize or believe that it has *suddenly* all become wrong versus believing that it has all become wrong over several hundred years.
As far as how it didn't just happen all of a sudden out of the blue 'cuz we'd know it... I don't know, kids - we have been having a lot of earthquakes around the planet of late... global warming... Sarah Palin... are you SURE it isn't all because the Zodiac has f**ked us over?
@santodevaca
If sufficiently large amount of electricity struck a container of milk, then according to Bamm's thermo-electro-dynamics equasion Qs=P*1/3(pi^Xc[G-H^v]) || D(C>f|g!|)^(-1/2) describing the flouhydronics of highly charged liquid deroxities, YES the milk would go sour. Ha!
FEAR TH POWER OF SCIENCE!!!
:D
Why does Fatty McBeard keep taking off his glasses?
ReplyI believe he is (puts glasses on) preparing to deliver a joke.
YEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm buying Baltic avenue baby and I don't care who knows it!
Reply2/4 panels in this were kinda funny. No lol funny, but kinda "eh heh" funny.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesyou need to round fractions down by the largest common factor. numerator and denominator both being divisible by two, 2/4 becomes 1/2. you found HALF of the panels mildly amusing.
It's comments like these that make it worthwhile to read through the bulls**t.
fmptard, that's only in math. In real life there were 4 panels.
I am forced to agree.
With what? Ah, therein lies the rub, or at least 22/11ths of it.
I really wish every comic from this person I've had the pleasure of reading didn't suck tremendous ballsaX
Replywhat are you talking about man "basic instructions" is awesome
dont be a hater
OMG HE MADE FUN OF CARTOONISTS AND HE'S A CARTOONIST YUK YUK YUK
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies/OTL
OMG YOU LEFT YOUR CAPS LOCK ON!! Creative!
Actually I thought that was quite clever, his comic is sort of demonstrating why he's talking about it so late. So it took a lot of patience to release this so late just for a joke. I commend him.
Or he's lazy and wrote it this morning.