How to Help Pick a Baby Name [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How To Retroactively Ruin a Joke and How to Argue Like and American.
If you want to give a stupid name to something, adopt a cat. Get it out of your system before you reproduce.
ReplySunshine Flower Bright Rainbow Gem Alicia Lucy Happy Girly for a boy and Blood Death Gory Chainsaw Destruction Nicholas Murder Manly for a girl, of course.
ReplyDon't forget stealthy
Personally, I'm going to have kids just so I can call one of them Havelock Samuel Suchandsuch. Or Konrad Curze.
Replyi dont get it...
Replypower and intelligence but NOT the name of a Star Trek captain.
fools.
My friend wants to name his kid "Aurora" if he has a girl. I told him if he has a boy, he should name him "Borealis". Geez that would suck.
Replyimagine twins. of both genders. and he did that.
they would be loved by canadians and eskimos.
I'm just going to throw "Spirk" out there :)
ReplyOr Kock.
WIN.
We have a family tradition where the first son is always named with the initials BJ. The second tradition, where the father tells the son on his thirteenth birthday that he was named BJ because that's all he should have been, is optional.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesyou people have an awesome sense of humor
What do you mean, you people?
What do YOU mean, you people?
why cant thre just be a like button so dont have to actually type, i mean thats just hard work.
ReplyLike
Double Like
When I was little I named two of my dolls; Taylor Jake & Jake Taylor never forgot their names (: Now I want 8 kids adopt 2 and I know for sure the names Madison & Mackenzie will be in there; don't judge me! (:
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesYou are a 16 year old girl, and no one gives a f**k about your baby names
It was a joke, shut the f**k up.
Still waiting on the punchline.
get out of here with your weird backwards smiley....
No, it definitely wasn't a joke.
Kahn Noonian Singh ... and that's if it's a girl.
ReplyYou can tell people she's Laotian and then get really upset when they ask, "What ocean?"
Expecting parents, just keep in mind that your children may one day have to apply for serious jobs with the stupid ass names you give them. That is all.
ReplyI'm thinkin' LaPringle..
ReplyWhat about Bruce ? or Wayne ?...
ReplyI will name my kid Hugedick Giantballs.
Replymy godson has an alternate name of Warbastard Mcsmashmouth
Kal-el. Nuff said!
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesLook it up... Nicolas Cage
El is his surname. If you wanted to go for the Superman approach, you'd name the child Kal... which, in my opinion, actually looks and sounds pretty good :3
Can't argue with Pilot Inspektor either. Just, double u tee eff?
americans include the surname, because americans are stupid :P
in most countries martin luther king would have been simply martin king
Excellent as always, and funny to boot.
ReplyWhole strip was good, except first panel, I laughed hard at that one. Basic Instructions is so win.
ReplyA lot of people like to give their kids biblical names. I'd consider Jezebel and Lucifer.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesIf only i could have a guy named Lucifer in my class.......
soon to be an all-star hollywood movie: Lucifer In My Ass
.. oh .. you said *class* .. sorry .. as you were.
violetxrain, I'd consider Jezebel too.. But then you'd get the kids who are super religious and they'd have proof your child is the anti-christ, or something else super religious people say.
This was a funny strip! It reminds me of that bit George Carlin did on goofy names.
ReplyOn an unrelated note, I think the best Basic Instructions comic of the year was, "How to refer to someone's significant other."
lol "best"
Forgetting the "to" in the first panel?
ReplyHow do you have a grammatical error in a comic strip? It's 4 panels to look at!
more proof that scott meyer just doesn't care anymore
there is no lack of "to" so stfu.