One of the small comforts of watching a movie is knowing that, yeah, those guys might be idols up on the big screen, but off-camera they're probably just like the rest of us: 30 pounds overweight, living in an abandoned semi-truck cab and selling weed for denture money.
But every now and then, we come across actors whose real lives are even more incredible than their fake ones. Like ...
If there's one thing that Han Solo is really good at, besides stupid ear-piercing decisions, it's being America's favorite aging action hero.
The assumption, of course, is that in real life, Harrison Ford is nothing like the smooth operator he plays in movies, especially after we get a gander at that screaming midlife crisis of an ear hole up there. And especiallyer after watching Ford high times it up on Conan a few weeks back. Clearly, the real-life Harrison Ford is one part crotchety fuddy-duddy, two parts on weird old people medicines and three parts in the grave.
Sure you've flown a blimp Harrison Ford.
Ford is the real-world Han Solo, if Han Solo piloted helicopters, worked for free and actually liked helping people.
"Look, Your Worshipfulness, a friend in need is a friend indeed."
Twice Ford has used his helicopter to come to the rescue of real-world hikers in distress, once by saving a woman on top of an Idaho mountain and once by joining a search and rescue mission for a 13-year-old Boy Scout lost in the woods. And out of all the people on the mission, Ford was the one who found the kid. In both cases, he volunteered his helicopter and piloting services free of charge, and also made himself available to the sheriff for future emergencies, undoubtedly prompting lonely middle-aged women all over the American Northwest to suddenly take up the sport of ill-planned hiking trips.
It turns out Ford has been piloting since the 90s, and just about every time he comes near an aircraft, glorious things happen, even the time he crashed his helicopter and then walked away without a scratch. He's personally flown Special Olympics athletes to their competitions, and he oversaw an airlift of volunteers and supplies to Haiti for Operation Smile.
Having Han Solo step out of the rescue chopper that just saved your life is not the most mind blowing helicopter related encounter you can have with Mr. Ford. If you throw a candy wrapper out your window while driving along the Hudson River, it's entirely possible that you will round the bend to find a pissed off Harrison Ford blocking traffic in his helicoptor. See, on top of those nice-guy jobs, Ford straight polices the Hudson River, using his helicopter to catch polluters. Beat that, Luke Groundwalker.
How that helicopter remains airborne while carrying Ford's testicles remains a mystery..