The good news is that you've found a girl worth going through the trouble of meeting her parents. The bad news is that no matter how hard you try, her dad would just as soon kick you in the throat than welcome you into his family. The other bad news is that there's nothing you can do about it, because the universe is working to make sure the old man hates you forever. Here's why:
And it's not because of your overindulgence of Axe body spray, either. Have you ever watched two dogs meet for the first time? There is a tensing of the muscles, a glare at each other, the raising of the fur, maybe the odd growl or two. Then the time honored ritual of sniffing the other's crotches. All that hullaballoo is about one thing: pheromones.
The dogs aren't just fooling around for the fun of it, hormone secretions are prompting them to behave this way. And if you think you and your girlfriend's dad are better than a bunch of street dogs, you've got another thing coming.
At least dogs have the decency to be open about it.
Why You Can't Win
You are getting your odor cooties all over his baby girl, and now he hates you for it.
"I'm gonna cut you like a side'a ham, boy."
And hates her, subconsciously. Smell is the only sense that plugs straight into the subconscious, which means that scents that you don't even know you're smelling affect your emotions and behavior. So, all his life this guy has subconsciously associated a particular smell with his daughter.
Maybe it was the smell of freesia laced with baby powder, who knows? But now she smells different. Why? Because of all that lovin' and touchin' and squeezin' you two have been doing. You've pretty much marked each other with your scents, and you've turned her into a stranger as far as his subconscious is concerned.
We see a loving couple. Her dad sees some dude getting stank all over his little angel.
At least you're not marking her by simply pissing on her, right? But good luck getting gratitude from her old man when you bring that up.