5 Reasons The Greatest Movie Villain Ever is a 'Good' Witch

#2. The Lie

So, the orphan girl from Kansas now has Oz's Saruman/Hitler mashup gunning for her, all because the 'Good Witch' got her involved in some kind of grander witch struggle without her consent. Glinda then goes on to explain that Dorothy has made "rather a bad enemy of the Witch." Not really, Glinda made her rather a bad enemy of the Witch. Dorothy stood around like a confused kid -- because she was, you know, a confused kid - while Glinda essentially framed her. So, despite being an innocent third party to the whole thing, Dorothy has just become Oz's version of Neo, only Morpheus is just some dick with his own agenda.


"Have you ever had a dream, Dorothy, that you were so sure was real?"

Once Glinda sets Dorothy up to be the object of the Wicked Witch's rage, she sends her off to find the Wizard, telling her that A) she would be better off getting the hell out of Oz altogether and B) she can only achieve this by going to the Wizard, which means leaving Munchkinland, where, coincidentally, the Wicked Witch has no power. The Wizard, Dorothy is told, is the only one who can help her.


Help you do whatnow?

Unfortunately, that was bald faced lie.

Anyone familiar with the story knows that at the end of the movie, Glinda tells Dorothy to click her heels to go home. Boom. Heel clicks, home. That's it. No wizard necessary. This whole elaborate journey Dorothy is about to embark on is predicated on a whopper. But, more on this in a bit.

#1. The Payoff

So, Dorothy takes Glinda's word that she's got to see the Wizard to get home, and she leaves the one place where the Wicked Witch has no power to get to the Emerald City. Through the course of her travels, Dorothy makes friends with the Scarecrow, the Tinman and the Cowardly Lion.


This is them.

Dorothy and crew somehow make it through an apple tree attack, an encounter with the Witch and a witchy fire ball, an opium overdose and Emerald City red tape to get to see the Wizard, who promptly informs them he won't do a damn thing to help them until they bring back the Wicked Witch's broomstick. And that's when the Scarecrow points out they would need to kill her first.


"No doy."

Riiiiight. So, to recap, Dorothy, the simple farm girl from Kansas, is now getting asked to play the part of a hired assassin. And her reward for her second murder of the day will be (hopefully) a chance to go home. And remember, Glinda is somehow watching over everything, and we know this because she was the one who woke up the gang from their drug overdose.

The Wizard was just bluffing when he sent Dorothy after the WWofW, he didn't have any powers to begin with. But Glinda knew exactly what a trip to the witch's castle meant - someone was going to die.

If you don't remember the movie, here's how things play out: Dorothy and her friends end up in a haunted forest where they are attacked by the Witch's flying monkeys, and those supermonkeys carry Dorothy and Toto back to the Witch's castle. The friends of Dorothy make their way into the castle, too, and in the final showdown Dorothy smites the old witch with a bucket of water, proving that M. Night Shyamalan wasn't even that original when he came up with the shittiest movie alien ever.

When Dorothy and friends return to the Emerald City as heroes, we find out that the entire fiasco could have ended the moment Glinda put the ruby slippers on Dorothy; she was literally walking around in her ticket to instant transport back to her own bed. Glinda's excuse for not telling Dorothy before she was nearly killed and offed Glinda's rival? "You wouldn't have believed me!"


"You could have fucking mentioned it, at least."

So why did Glinda send Dorothy to the Wizard in the first place? Maybe we'll never know. But we think it's pretty convenient that by the end of the movie not only are both chief rivals of the so-called 'Good Witch' dead, but the ruler of Emerald City was out of the picture as well, leaving just one beloved and fully powerful Witch in his place.

The whole thing smells fishy. It's like The Usual Suspects with midgets, no Baldwins and a Keyser Söze who floats off in a bubble.

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