12 Things You'll Wish You'd Never Seen Under a Microscope

#6. Hummingbird

At normal size ...

Tiny, adorable, harmless, often seen sipping sugar water from feeders with their tiny little tongue. Ahhh.

But close up ...

AAAAAHHHH! That's an extreme closeup of the bird's horrifying monster tongue. That's another one from Steve Gschmeissner, who gave us the CGI-looking flea earlier.

In the deepest, darkest recesses of Stephen King's mind -- the part he keeps hidden from the rest of the world for fear that we'll glimpse his true demonic anti-soul -- there does not live a creature as horrifying as the common hummingbird tongue. Thanks for showing us that, Mr. Gschmeissner.

#5. The Bearded Weevil

At normal size ...

There's probably a weevil in there, eating a leaf or something. You've probably stepped on one before.

But close up ...

OK, "bearded weevil" is a grotesque understatement. That has to be one of the most luxurious beards in the animal kingdom. But stick it on that horrifying insect and it just looks like a bad disguise. No, I will not sit on your lap, Bearded Weevil.

This pic came from the Nikon Small World competition and was taken by Alex Vanegas who hopefully immediately realized how much the creature looked like it was stolen from the set of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

#4. Pubic Lice

At normal size ...

Pubic lice are sexually transmitted. You might have them on your junk right now. They're pretty small.

But close up ...

Look at that fatass. That electron scan of a pubic louse is from David Gregory and Debbie Marshall and there are many, many more at that link.

This thing looks like rejected concept art for Jabba the Hutt. It's the porky insect that the pretty blue flea we saw earlier would never be caught dead talking to.

#3. Tardigrade, aka "Water Bear"

At normal size ...

They're too tiny to see, and they live in moss and other wet places.

But close up ...

That's an alien. That is a straight-up rubber alien costume from a shitty Syfy original. Unfortunately, multiple photos exist of the Tardigrade. (Trivia: At some schools, this is the only grade below "F.")

Though we should feel bad for making fun of its name -- this is the only known creature in existence that can live for 10 days in the total vacuum of space, and can live for a full decade without water. And can survive in temperatures as cold as one degree above absolute zero. Or at 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, it appears to have a camera mounted in the middle of its face.

All right, no more insects. They're just too terrifying.

#2. Your Tooth

At normal size ...

Your tongue is touching one right now.

But close up ...

Holy crap. Is it ... about to fall apart or something? This electron scan also came from David Gregory and Debbie Marshall, who did the pubic louse earlier.

Look, scientists, there is just some shit you don't show the public. We pay you good grant money so that we never have to see what you see. That thing is in our mouth. Pictures like this will push a normal person into germaphobia. And a germaphobe into suicide by fire.

OK, no more pictures from the human body. We can't take it.

#1. Jimmy Dean Sausage

At normal size ...

Wait, what? It's delicious sausage. Look, we know raw sausage isn't pleasant to look at, but-

But close up ...

Fuck you! Whose idea was this?

You can blame photographer and vegetarian Mike Adams for showing us our food in the grossest way possible via simple macrophotography. There's a whole bunch of these at that link. Go ahead and click it. We're certainly not showing you any more.

OK, maybe one more:

Inside of an Oscar Mayer wiener.

You're welcome.

For more images too unrealistic to be true, check out our images you won't believe aren't photoshopped series and The True Stories Behind 5 Famous WTF Images.

And stop by Linkstorm to see how the Internet looks under a microscope.

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Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infograpic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!

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