6 Hilarious Old-Timey Versions of Modern Vices The 5 Worst Things About Getting a Job in a Small Town The 6 Most Undeserving Lottery Winners in History

CRACKED ROUND-UP: Election Edition

Wait, there was another goddamn election? Seriously? Is the black dude still president, or did that old guy win?


Soren saved the third world this week with the simple gift of dozens of animals and firearms. Meanwhile, Bucholz gave the Internet a chill pill with sixteen possible answers for the "time traveler" photo. Brockway brought up D&D flashbacks in half of our audience, while Seanbaby put together a UFC insult dictionary for the other half. Cody covered John Stewart's big rally for country music stars and Dan O'Brien closed us off with the sobering truth about Spiderman.



ELECTION SEASON
6 Things You Won't Believe Can Brainwash You On Election Day
Just in case you had some lingering faith in the democratic process.


Notable Comment: "Should we just make voting mandatory? I mean, why not?"

We don't know redcoast, maybe because of the contents of this article?



WORDPLAY
5 Insane Ways Words Can Control Your Mind
So much for 'free will'.


Notable Comment:"Cracked, if you're going basically summarize Guy Deutscher's entire most recent book in an article, perhaps you should give him some credit? "

Prooffreader, no one at Cracked has ever heard of your silly book. We've included your comment because the name "Deutscher" made us giggle like children.



SLAUGHTER-FEST
The 5 Most Epic One Man Rampages In the History Of War
All men have testicles, but these guys had balls.


Notable Comment:"So...Nick Fury was Canadian?"

Yes Dalarsco, his original name was 'Nick Mediated-Discussion'.



PIMPED OUT
5 Awesome Vehicles for the Extremely Wealthy (And Insane)
Money leads to paranoia, which leads inevitably to 40 foot bullet-proof limosine/spaceships.


Notable Comment: "Aw, c'mon guys. Why you gotta keep picking on Oklahoma? Oklahomans already have to cope with the fact that we live in Oklahoma, do we really need your ridicule, too?"

Sorry, Xervous, but yes. You absolutely do.



THE LAW
The 5 Most Wildly Illegal Court Rulings in Movie History
Not many lawyers become screen-writers.


Notable Comment: "This is why Judge Dredd doesn't bother with any of this due process crap. Judge, jury, executioner all in one. "

Britlantine barely scratches the surface of the myriad benefits of a Dredd-based justice system.



Agents of Cracked
Some People Take Prank Wars A Little Too Seriously
GUN prank war it is!


YOU YOU YOU!
20 Plot Twists Famous Movies Should Have Had
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, If Other Industries Were As Evil as the RIAA


Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.

11.04.10:

Spidersperm, Spidersperm, does whatever a Spidersperm can, finds a womb, slides inside, it's immune, to spermicide--LOOK OUT! Here comes the Spidersperm!
by Zombiecross

Editor's pick:

That old guy working overhead needs to wear briefs from now on.
by dpollok

11.03.10:

She said she has big boobs and legs that go on forever, yeah I'm supposed to finally meet her today at the park.
by its-a-sexytime

Editor's pick:

Fatty Long Legs
by troll_atx

11.02.10:

"Damn, I'm almost on empty...pull over at that day care so I can fill up."
by dpollok

Editor's pick:

I brake for virgin sacrifices
by bcanders

11.01.10:

I like to come to the beach to unwind a little...
by el_monty

Editor's pick:

Heidi Montag's body rejected the latest plastic surgery, and she began to return to her base form.
by Joey_09876

10.31.10:

"I am Sexulus of Borg. Resistance is Foreplay"
by Shadowcran

Editor's pick:

If he couldn't find porn for his fetish, then, by God, he was going to make it.
by Deleterious

10.30.10:

In other countries, the Tickle Monster is a bad thing. A very bad thing.
by Exiasprip

Editor's pick:

Damn Science. I still don't understand String Theory.
by krishnasook

10.29.10:

To increase manure output, farmers have turned to literally scaring the shit out of their livestock.
by xgrendelx

Editor's pick:

It seeds Nightmares.
by Mr.Excalibur

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