Most fashion fads all start the same way: some musician wears something unusual on the stage or in a video, and millions of teenagers and college kids run out to buy it. This process has led all of us to wearing some laughably stupid shit over the years.
Which just makes it all the more frustrating to think back to all of the music fashions that should have caught on, but didn't because society apparently just wasn't ready. But oh how I wish it was socially acceptable to wear...
7The Bright Red Codpiece (Cameo)
If you were alive in the 80s and had working ears, you know who Cameo is. If not, then you may only know them as, "the band whose lead singer had a red shield on his dick."
That piece of clothing right there is called a codpiece, and when you wear a codpiece, you are ready for fucking battle. It sends a message to your opponent that says, "I'm about to beat your ass, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. But I'm protecting my stuff-n-things because after this is all over, I'm nailing your mom." Add in the fact that it's violence-and-rage red, and there is not a man on earth who will be able to maintain eye contact with you through a conversation. Or a woman, though for very different reasons.
What we do not understand is why, after Larry Blackmon hit airwaves with this fashion in 1986, this accessory didn't become as common as the necktie. By now it would have become so accepted that the freaking President would take the stage in one on inauguration day.
What Caught On Instead:
Tupac's exposed boxers/low hanging pants.
Though we should probably also blame a Marky Mark-era Mark Wahlberg for this one:
As an aggressive show of manhood or sexual virility, the low-hanging pants trend was just cowardly. It was for people who wanted to show their fuck gear but didn't have the balls to just not wear pants. And we've all seen these unbelievable douchebags out in public, pulling up their beltline with every second step to avoid the pants slipping down around their knees.
Our feelings on the matter are that the primary muscles involved in walking should be the legs. If the arms are doing just as much work, it's time to find a new fashion. Do ladies honestly get turned on by the sight of your junk hiding behind huge baggy striped boxer shorts? Especially when you could have your dick decked out in red armor like a brave crimson knight?