How to Insult a Large Subset of the Human Race [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How to Fix Health Problems With Positive Thinking [COMIC] and How to Spot a Bad Guy in a Movie.
I'm one of those determined Californians :). Don't worry, I don't use umbrellas in the rain or drive like a douchebag. s**t, I walk in thunderstorms with just jeans and a t-shirt and laugh at all the dumbasses who scream whenever a bolt strikes a few miles away! Of course, I spent a lot of time on vacations to central Mexico in the summer, so rain and thunderstorms ain't shit.
ReplyOregon is California's Canada and Washington's Mexico, except without any of the good things that come from Canada and Mexico (except the drugs, of course)
ReplyWe do have better cheese, and plus, Californians make us look bad. People mistake them for Oregonians, except the whole they are terrified of the rain. Pretty easy for the trained eye to spot them (i.e., umbrellas)
ReplyAnd their s**tty f**king driving. When Californians move to Oregon, they should have to keep the California license plates. That way, everyone can tell the difference.
This is cheesy. :D
ReplyWhy is your art copy and paste for most of your comics? Seriously, it's quite annoying how you actually get paid for minimal effort. If the characters are to hard to redraw every comics, then you should have made your characters easier to draw.
Replymaybe you should stop being jealous and find a similar way of getting paid. after all, he gets paid because someone out there is willing to give him the money. not like he's holding a gun to your f*****g head.
I think I finally get Basic Instructions! It's one continuous story where the joke comes at the very last strip. I'm really looking forward to that joke but maybe I should skip reading all the lame unfunny strips until then...
Reply"That's it? CHEESE?!" is now a regular part of my conversations.
ReplyWho is Oregon? Never heard of him.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesWasn't he from Lord of the Rings?
It's a state. Better than all of the other ones put together.
I'm 12 and what's an Oregon?
really Cynical? a state? so there is solid, liquid, gas, and oregon? sounds pretty fishy to me. i think you are making that s**t up, there isn't really any such thing as oregon. its like narnia, but sucky.
input this URL:
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Please add more comedy. This comic doesn't seem to have any.
ReplyWell, obviously.
I usually don't like these very much but they don't bother me so I read them. This and the last one made me laugh, though. Hope it keeps getting better.
ReplyWholesale and retail
Replynike-alliance. c0m
This sucks
ReplyI live in Wa. State, so I get this one. Everyone in Wa. hates Californians.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesCalifornians are stupid Douchebags, or maybe I'm thinking of Jersey Shore
No Thiefenz you're right for the most part. Most Californians are douchebags that everyone else hates.
True, Californians are stupid douchebags. They aren't as bad as people from New Jersey, though. Not by a long shot.
I don't know where-all the joke is at. You people should put the joke in a panel so folks know about it, like that Family Circus thingamajig.
ReplyHey, hey! Oregon also has fantastic blueberries.
ReplyTrue that. And a lot of salmon.
What what what? Seriously Cracked are you trying to make me angry? You wouldn't like me when I am angry because I don't get angry I get stabby!!!
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesDeath to Basic Instructions.
And what happens when you get angry? Absolutely f**king nothing, so stop being an internet tough guy.
because I can make you bleed
Why are you getting angry in the first place? Why do you care so much about this comic? If you don't like it, by all means, make a rational and calm argument. Start an intelligent discussion, I'm all for that crap. But why get so emotionally invested in something so trivial?
Large subset of the human race? Winconsin counts as a large subset?
Replyexactly what I was thinking. fail.
puke. you idiots who like this crap are f*gs
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesFigs? Fogs? I can't tell what you're going for here.
Maybe you shouldn't have used an asterisk in your post like a f*g.
Hypocrite (YES I KNOW CRACKED HAS AUTOMATIC CENSORING)
The censorship here is worse than in j*pan.
why must j*pan Censor their precious Hentai?
Doc*ments circ*mscribing the methods of the censoring software have been cons**cuously misplaced by j*panese f*gs.
I'm from Oregon, but had to move to Wisconsin. I like Tilamook better. Also, Wisconsinites can't pronounce Oregon correctly.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesThere happens to be a Basic Instructions comic about that.
people from Oregon cannot pronounce Oregon correctly.
Here's a hint, "-gon" at the end of ANY word(besides dragon), DOES NOT rhyme with "bin" or "win".
Nor should "Oregon" be pronounced almost exactly like "organ"
Grew up in Ohio, and we had a suburb-Oregon. It was pronounced "Or-a-GON" (rhymes with "con" or "Don" or the same "gon" as "polygon" or "paragon".
edit-Oh, I currently reside in Northwestern Washington, and after 4 years cringe every time I hear it pronounced to rhyme with "win".
Wagon, jargon, flagon, off the top of my head.
You are wrong.
bearglove, you are retarded. That is all.
Hey bearglove, you dirty son of a hooker. I was born and raised in Oregon. And saying it Or E gone will get you a f**king dirty look from me mother f**ker. I will f**king give you super aids you b***h. It's f**king pronounced how we f**king say it. So go back to the circus you c**k juggling ass clown.
Wisconsin people can't say Oregon correctly because our accents are more awesome than your's and we don't really give a shit.