3"Why Do hot women Fish For Compliments By Pretending to Think They're Fat or Ugly?"
The right question:
"How much does feeling fat or ugly bother this woman?"
The first misconception is that the women know they're not fat or ugly, and that they're fishing for compliments or playing some kind of power game. That happens, but usually the woman actually thinks she's fat or ugly, what with the media and body image and all that.
That's what happens when you watch Julia Roberts cry about having to get "big girl jeans" in Eat, Pray, Love.
But let's not go too far in the other direction and think that women are constantly bathed in a depressing cloud of self-loathing. You're thinking of teenagers. But as women get older, feeling fat and ugly can actually be pretty routine, and less a part of your identity than something you check on every day. It's like having a hole in your pants or a spaghetti stain on your shirt -- dismaying to see in the mirror, but something you can fix or shrug off.
Although to be fair, this kid does seem pretty devastated.
That's why you might have heard some women say, "Ugh, I feel fat today." Just today. Tomorrow I might look in the mirror and go, "You lookin' good, girlfriend." It depends on things like my hair and the clothes I'm wearing. For example, if I am wearing a girdle, I feel thinner.
Don't you love it how they get women who don't need girdles to model girdles?
Do some women fish for compliments or attention by falsely claiming they feel so ugly? Sure. I've done it. (We were all teenagers once.) One clue is if they post an elaborately staged picture of them trying to look cute on Facebook or whatever, with a caption about how ugly this "candid" picture is.
"Ack! Someone just accidentally took this horrible picture of me while I was cleaning the house!"
If you want to call them on it, I would advise being really really sure that's their game, and then saying, "OH GOD I'M TURNING TO STONE" or, "PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH-NAGL FHTAGN" or a good old, "Well, there's always personality." If she bursts into tears when she sees you, you probably should have been more sure. You asshole.
4"Why Won't Women Tell You What's Wrong?"
The right question:
"Why might telling not work in this situation?"
This idea that women have some across-the-board tendency to "never tell what's wrong" breaks down when you note that the same people who ask this question also find themselves complaining about women's nagging, or the dreaded "can we talk" question, so it's pretty clear their women are pretty vocal about stating what's wrong in a variety of situations.
Perhaps too vocal.
But sometimes a woman won't answer that question, usually because she sees it as a no-win dilemma.
The first possibility is that what you did wrong is so glaringly obvious (to her) that she thinks it is you who are playing the game, and does not understand what you are trying to do. Like if you had sex with a man, or killed her dog, or both.
"What? Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
The second possibility is that what you did wrong is so glaringly obvious (to her) that she realizes she has entered into a relationship with a man who cannot grasp a person's most basic needs without being given a laminated chart every day. She is envisioning a lifetime of constantly giving explanations about why it is wrong to skip her birthday to get drunk with his friends, or flirt with 16-year-olds in an online game. Why push that boulder up that hill today? It's not like she won't get to do it a thousand times more.
All women are well-versed in classical mythology.
A third possibility is that it's something she wanted you to do on your own initiative, like compliment her haircut or ask about her day. These things don't really mean a lot when done mechanically, which is what's going to happen if she says, "What's wrong is I wanted you to ask about my day," and you say, "Oh, of course, tell me about your day." That setup doesn't leave one convinced that you actually want to hear about her day. And compliments given on command are pretty worthless too.
"Honey, what do you think of my new contacts?"
It's unfair, but there's not a lot either of you can do about it at the time.
And finally, as mentioned before, the Manipulative Harpy does exist, sometimes a little bit in all of us, and could very well be doing it because she hates you.