Ever wonder why you never get picked for a good job? Hell, you've got all the requirements they need and you've got sex appeal. What's going wrong?
These are all questions we've been asking ourselves lately, and it turns out that, tired of the same old prejudices from previous generations, businesses are getting creative in their discrimination.
6By Your Handwriting
In this modern day and age, you would think that handwriting has become irrelevant in the workplace. Who cares if you dot your I's with love hearts? Who cares if you turn every "A" into a miniature penis? You've got a computer, and as long as you don't file all your business reports in Wingdings, then you should be fine, right?
Why does this exist?
Wrong. You may have a long list of degrees, experience in the industry and a reference from the president himself, but that might all count for squat if you work for one of the many companies around the world (including 3,000 in the UK alone) who hire graphologists.
According to those who study graphology, the way you write could indicate anything from your ability to solve problems in a group, to your likelihood of murdering your neighbor. According to science, this is not even close to true.
But hey, who listens to those nerds anyway.
None of this has stopped believers from making incredibly important decisions based on handwriting analysis. If you think the company you work for would never do such a thing, keep in mind that they don't even need to let you know they're doing it, and because they probably know how crazy it sounds, they often don't.
The amount of information they think they can get on you from your handwriting is astounding. Hell, some graphologists even advertise the ability to catch cheating spouses. That's right, you can pay someone a ridiculous amount of money to analyze that sexually explicit note your girlfriend wrote to the gardener, and they'll tell you whether the way she crosses her T's indicates unfaithful tendencies.
From top to bottom: rapist, car salesman, Hitler.
Graphologists claim to have near foolproof methods to determine who's an alcoholic, who will be violent, who will steal and, in one especially bizarre case, a graphologist actually offered to identify potential child molesters working within the school simply by studying writing samples.
Add that to your cheat-sheet for a successful job interview: dress neatly, do your research and for Christ sakes make sure your handwriting isn't too rapey.
"Your shopping list gave you away. Seriously, 'baby oil'?"