7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)
Let's pretend for a moment that zombies are real (as if half of you weren't already daydreaming about that very thing). Have you noticed how most zombie movies take place only after the apocalypse is in full-swing? By the time we join our survivors, the military and government are already wiped out, and none of the streets are safe.
There's a reason the movie starts there, and not earlier. It's because the early part, where we go from one zombie to millions, doesn't make any sense. If you let the creeping buzzkill of logic into the zombie party, you realize the zombies would all be re-dead long before you even got a chance to fire up that chainsaw motorcycle you've been working on. Why?
#7.
They Have Too Many Natural Predators
Do you know why we, as humans, are at the top of the current food chain? Not because we're hard to kill (well, with the exception of Steven Seagal). We're not; we're little more than tasty flesh bags waiting for an errant horn or claw to spill our guts like a meat pinata. No, we're on top simply because we are so absurdly good at killing things ourselves. A good offense, as they say, is the best de-LOOK THERE'S A DUCK! MURDER IT!
We are simply too smart and too well-armed for any wild animal to hunt. Now consider the poor zombie. It lacks every single advantage that has kept humanity from being eaten to extinction. It wanders around in the open, it can't use weapons, it can't think or use strategy. It doesn't even have the sense of self preservation to run and hide when it's in danger. And, it's made entirely out of food. It's easy prey for any animal that wants it.
If you're saying, "Sure, but it's not like my city is full of bears that can come eat all the zombies," you need to think smaller. Insects are a major pain in the ass for living humans, and in some cases, being able to swat away flies and having an immune system is the only thing keeping us from having our eyes and tongues eaten out by maggots. Zombies in any part of the world with a fly problem are going to be swarming with maggots in short order, meaning that most of their soft tissues will be infested, and their eyes will be very quickly useless.
Not so disgusting now, are they? OK, yeah, but show a little respect.
We'll scale up a bit: In America alone, we have bears, wolves, coyotes and cougars, all of which can put well-armed, thinking, fast-moving humans on the menu, if the conditions are right. To most predators, the "right conditions" are when the animal is weak or infirm, or otherwise generally unable to defend themselves, like a walking corpse. Hell, just think of the millions of stray dogs out there who'll quickly learn that zombies are an easy meal.
Now imagine zombie hordes wandering Africa. Between lions and cape buffalo (and hippos, and rhinos, and elephants), we'd finally have a disease that Africa is better suited than the rest of the world to defend itself against.
If there were such a virus that zombified people as fast as it does in all the movies, video games, and television shows then it wouldn't take weeks to take out a population, it could happen in a few hours.
ReplyOf course it does all depend on the type of zombies we are talking about here, not all zombies are slow, stupid, and clumsy.
Well, they do rot but are still mobile and some are quite agile so they must have some blood flowing and are able to maintain a body temperature of some sort that would keep them from liquefying in the sun or freezing in the cold, at least not right away.
Those first few zombies would probably be rendered useless in a few days but what about the people they infected the day before that became zombies or the day before that that are now walking around biting 'survivors'? I say when you look at it in that light your logic and reasoning is flawed.
A zombie attack would end up being a pandemic that probably would take out humanity in the end.
The only way I can see a Zombie Apoc starting is something akin to 28 days later without governments. Say, after a third world war with bio weaponry? Then it'll be fair.
ReplyWhich it won't, because most survivors will still have weapons. But that is one of the most concrete ways I can see it happening.
Well the guy who posted this would be a horde's lunch if it ever happened like in the movies. Let's see.. First: if you're outnumber 100,000 to 1 (which you would be) it doesn't matter how smart or well armed you are. Second: anything that eats zombie flesh becomes one. Third: a zombie can only be killed by a shot or blow to the head. I hope the poster of this site has a lot of redneck friends if it actually does happen. I recommend you watch things like walking dead, zomblieland and a few others. This is about the type you seen in those and you are fatally uneducated for if it does.
ReplyI love it when people respond to this article about how a zombie apocalpyse wouldn't happen, and base their arguments on the idea that an apocalypse happens.
1. Subject under discussion.
2. Since when? That's just more targets.
3. Killed, yes. Incapacitated or combat-killed, no.
A zombie is about as hard to fight as drunk guy. A lot of zombies=a lot of drunk guys. There are enough guns in America to arm every single person. All the government has to do is declare open season on zombies.
It seems everyone is forgetting one of the easiest things to do. Build a wall.
ReplyThe only point I'd like to make is the animals one. I know it's been made, but no one mentioned Xombie: Dead on Arrival. It's one of my favorite zombie animations because who doesn't love un-dead sharks, or zombie tigers. I think a disease that can spread to anything with a brain-stem would be much harder to contain than one that affects only humans. It would change the game a little. I know they'd still rot/freeze, but see how many people survive a zombified stray dog infestation. It would at least last a while, especially if there was a long incubation period. There's still hope! :-D
ReplyRemember, zombie animals can't run either, and fast zombies simply wear out faster. In fact, zombie animals are going to behave pretty much the exact same as human zombies; move toward target and groan.
I died at "its that guy biting ppl.. shoot em in the head!!" rofllolol
ReplyThe one I most agreed with was that military bases (and military schools) are self sufficient and are loaded with weapons. Here's what would happen.
ReplyBob:Oh no. A zombie.
Joe then shoots the zombie.
Bob:Oh no. Another zombie.
Joe then shoots the zombie.
Ignoring the fact, anything ingesting the zombie virus would take the virus into their system thus crossing the species barrier and turning those animals zombified, most of what you've said is actually wrong, depending on the kind of zombie you have in mind. If you think Shaun of The Dead zombies, they are thick, slow and easily fooled into believeing you are one of them. If you think Day Of The Dead (By George A Romero) zombies, the infection spread like the common cold, and eventually hit the nervous system so hard it increased intelligence and strngth and primal instincts almost as if constantly supplied with adrenaline. Or, Resident Evil, yes they were stupid but they could run and all riled up ina mob they would clearly outlast anyone with a big gun. AND if you used that gun other zombies would hear and follow, it would be like ringing a dinner bell. Plus, one of the main reasons we are at the top of the food chain is that we have thought processes unlike that of an animal. Animals have their base instincts and what they are conditioned (taught) to do. We can think of a situation, rally massive groups of people for a cause even if that cause is horrible through simple means of persuasion or appealing to something people want, Example, Adolf Hitler and the German people's need for labour in the Depression, nothing about any intent need to kill anything that walks in sight. And again, with the maggots/flies wating undead bodies, IF that did not turn them into Zombie flies, Zombies from say ANC's The Walking Dead simply have had the very stem of their brain re animated, while they may be missing body parts, Do you see any maggots or flies chewing on their eyes or tongues? And there is a very high possibility a zombie virus could occur through a disease we all know but relate quite firmly to animals as it does not affect us as it does them. Rabies. It induces symptoms that we relate to zombies in films, (ignoring reanimation of the dead) if it were to cross the species barrier to humans and infect us like it does animals it causes swelling of the brain, anger and increased temperment leaving only base instincts and a mad desire for them.
ReplyJust saying, if a zombie apocalypse hits, the worlds survival depends on what type of zombies there are and people smart enough to realise going off alone will get themselves killed. Going to Army Bases (in the UK we only keep I do believe it is 2 Active guns on site?) will get you killed. Oh and if it reanimates the dead, that would SERIOUSLY tip the scale in their favour.
I didn't read the rest of your comment after "Ignoring the fact, anything ingesting the zombie virus would take the virus into their system thus crossing the species barrier and turning those animals zombified, most of what you've said is actually wrong" because I'm fairly certain you believe that any virus that can survive in one species will be able to survive in another. Due to the very odd use of punctuation, though, I'm really not sure.
2 active guns on site? are you stupid? there are more weapons than that ready to go at a moments notice in case of an attack, not to mention the strong fences surrounding the area
On number 1, not all countries have gun cultures like those United States, some countries like Costa Rica don't even have their own military. Police are a good alternative but they would have to fight allot of people with little fire-power, of-course that is when the United Sta... NATIONS would come and bomb the sh#t out of the Zombies.
Replywhat about the zetas and cartel / gangs I doubt they'd stand there n let zombies eat them
Like they said. Gangs have weapons, and zombies can be defeated by a door. Most humans in full possession of their faculties have difficulties breaking down your average door. A zombie is basically a drunk guy trying to get through.
Although I totally agree with jcohen, I'd like to add another example to the table.
ReplyBiohazard (also known as Resident Evil in the West) gave a very realistic sketch of the situation
in Racoon City, United States, Europe and Africa the zombie outbreaks never really evolved
from epidemics to pandemics, yet the entire games series got 3 films and 14 books made out
of it, Humans were quick to react and found them selves victorious as every step.
Of course for #7 you are forgetting the fact that if anything eats a zombie then it to turns into a zombie, what if their were millions of zombie infested flies running around raping everyone. We'd all be fucked...Just sayin.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesZombie. Infested. Flies. "Running" around and "raping" everyone. Obviously, you have never seen a fly. Or a fly swatter, for that matter. Or even a fly penis. But I digress. I really wanted to ask, do flies even have teeth? Or penises? Or a 'run' ability? Mosquitoes are one thing, they're good at the whole 'disease transmitting' thing. But flies? And rape? Really, rape?
Actually, if it spread by fly saliva, we'd be F$%ked.
And that not uncommon we dont like flies landing on our food because they carry bacteria from whatever else they have been on. So if they been on zombies (even if they don't become zombies) it is possible they could spread Zombification bacteria.
Hahaha, people on the internet never cease to crack me up. Good thing none of you are real.
For the first entry, all I could think of is, why hasn't there been a big budget zombie movie with zombie animals? Ignoring insects, if I saw a zombie lion, It'd be ten times more scared than a human zombie.
ReplyLook up Black Sheep (Not the Chris Farley movie). It was made in 2006 in New Zealand.
Uh, resident evil. hello?
In other words, it takes 3 points for a World War Z to start efficiently:
Reply1. Disease has multiple ways to infect ppl (airborne might be the worst)
2. Z has multiple abilities ( fast, infrared eyes or heat detector are sufficient)
3. Head is no longer vulnerable point.
Honestly, i think if the outbreak starts just like that, the world is F doomed.
If you are going to write a 5,000 word article debunking a zombie apocalypse, at least be accurate. There were way too many scientific/logical holes. A zombie fan could easily make a better attempt at debunking a zombie apocalypse.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliessuch as what exactly?
IDK about debunking, but i happen to know about this 342 pg book called World War Z that spends the entire time convincing you that the zombie apocalypse is viable. Of course, it also makes the assumption that nothing will willingly eat infected flesh. this includes bacteria, so no decomposition.
Point of order, Danica. WWZ has more holes in it than swiss cheese, but it mentions that anything that eats zombie flesh dies, including bacteria. Of course, these zombies are also known to defy physics by not being turned to paste by walking across the ocean floor, as a character IN the novel notes.
And then there's the fact that enough people in America knew about "African Rabies" for the guy selling a placebo to become a billionaire, but not enough for most people to know what it is, yet the news media was allegedly suppressing information about zombies, in contrast to the way actual news tends to sensationalize new diseases(e.g. more people dying of regular flu than bird flu), and that's just for starters.
You forgot about the kids and us teenagers who would wish this would happen (mostly our now a day fricken BATSHIT CRAZY, BLOOD THIRSTY NOT SO INNOCENT KIDS) the kids would probably take a baseball bat and BEAT the zombie to their hearts content then walk back inside with a bloody baseball bat and grabbing a juicebox and watching spongebob or somethin like that all day. For ONCE in my life I feel bad for the zombies not the kids (seriously I'm not joking zombies aren't the problem the kids are BEWARE THE BATSHIT INSANE KIDS!!!!)
Reply^Somebody forgot their ritalin.^
I agree, the only way a zombiepocalypse would get out of hand is if the zombies were I Am Legend style (which, fyi, were at NO point called "zombies", in the book or movie) with a virus that spreads through the air and zombies that gain superhuman abilities. And even then, it would quickly be contained and eradicated, there would just be more casualties before that happened.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesAll comes down to incubation times
They wrent called zombies because they are actually vampires, hence the reaction to sunlight
In I Am Legend they aren't zombies they are vampire's the I Am Legend you saw was not the original,if you watch the original script I am Legend you will get that they are vampire's here are some clues, come out at night, sun burns them, super strong, they race after blood.
[deleted]
wouldnt animals turn out to be zombies? theyd be more dangerous
ReplyThe way I see it, it would fail because... flesh rots and being in the sunlight constantly, wondering in frozen wasteland, wondering around the beach side (remember, salty air), it'll rot. Not to mention, injuries, because these zombies don't feel pain, they're not aware of the injuries they sustain or even sustained before they turn, over time it'll fester and you get the idea. Not to mention, they crave warm flesh and when there's none to be found, they'll starve so to speak.
Replydid you... even read the article?
You see, in a world where the living people murder around half million of another living person per year, killing undead would be like a walk in the park.
ReplyIf you tell me it was on middle ages where the people and army was consisted on sword and shield, would be pretty dam difficult to face a horde of zombies on melee combat.
On WW2 over 60 million people killed each other, and they were freaking alive, it doesn't matter how big a horde is, Gunpowder OWNS everything.
It sicks me to see on Movies/TV trained soldier getting overrun by zombies.
In World War Z, their morale broke and they ran away, because of boneheaded command decisions. It's never explained who, exactly, was responsible.
If the other article is right about the cyborg nano-bot zombies is right, then many of these are invalid.
Replyor all of these, the nano bots could turn back on you heart and blood supply thus wsweat of shiver and control body tempratures. and they could infect anything as they are little robots.... but then is it zombies or robots that are causing the apocolypse