This still stands as probably the grossest misuse of the word "Super" in the history of the English language. This version of Pitfall barely qualifies as a game. You play the part of a Pitfall Harry in a miner's hat the color of the Bible Adventures cartridge trying to save your lion and niece from deadly fruit bats and toads. But anyone related to Pitfall Harry isn't worth saving, and the only reason anyone would keep playing is to hope to find a more painful way to make the little guy die.
You'll find yourself saying that spikes and water are too good for him. He deserves some sort of acid bath/sandpaper combination. If you accidentally put the game into your NES, just turn off the power, remove the cartridge and smash Super Pitfall with a hammer.
If you don't get suicidally bored from the gameplay, you might from the graphics.
Evil fish and boring ladders.
The game itself is a waste of time, but if you take the shattered remains of the Super Pitfall cartridge, you could combine them with some dried macaroni and have a fun arts and crafts party. "*Giggle!* I made a duck out of my Super Pitfall! Quackarific!"
Desecration of a Classic: 9
Pitfall isn't that clever a name to begin with, so I don't know why Super Pitfall decided to name itself after a game it has nothing in common with and can't possibly compare to.
Most NES games based on movies were bad, but Hudson Hawk was notably shitty. You were about three pixels high, and spent most of your time dodging video cameras and angry guard dogs. These were no ordinary guard dogs, though. Many of them were wiener dogs who you could easily distract by throwing a ball. When they did catch you, they would grab onto your ass until you remembered to hit the "throw ball" button.
This big mean dog will pull you off the building by your ass. But you never stop smiling. That's the kind of guy you are. Hell, you'll probably start singing while you fall five stories.
Most of the game's challenge came from the jumps you had to do. They weren't very bad, but I discovered that Hudson Hawk has a fear of jumping and rarely does so when you tell him. He prefers to run into pits while you hammer your controller.
I found out it was a lot more fun to jam my copy of Hudson Hawk, the movie, into the Nintendo and perform Singin' on a Star with a sock puppet I labeled, "Danny Aiello." If you time it right, sparks and smoke will come out of your NES just as you begin the extravagansic final chorus.
The little Bruce Willis looked like a mixture of Joe Camel and a circus midget, and the programmers hired their neighbor's kids to make the backgrounds. But other than that, the graphics were all very terrible.
It seemed like it might have been a playable game if Hudson did what you told him and you could stand looking at the ugly screen. It's sometimes fun to throw your bouncy balls around the screen, but only if you are on heavy medication.
Bruce Willis Points: -48
This is by far the worst thing associated with Bruce, but it is luckily made up for by Die Hard, Last Man Standing and The Fifth Element. When asked about the Hudson Hawk NES game during an interview, he responded to the reporter with a left hook. Then he took out a harmonica and sang the old theme to Seagram's Golden Wine Cooler while they groaned.