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If you've watched bad stand-up or beer commercials or listened to awful morning drive time radio DJs (Science has yet to prove the existence of any other type) you know about all of the supposed differences between men and women. The #1 topic of conversation among male hack comics is their nagging, chatter-box wives, and for hack females it's... well, vibrators. But their insensitive, slob of a husband is a very close second. Well, it turns out there's a reason those comics and beer companies keep making those jokes. Many of the exciting advances in brain mapping and genetic research are proving that some of the oldest, most hackneyed gender-based stereotypes are totally true. #6.
Women Can't Drive and Park For Shit
There is allegedly one thing women and blind men have in common: their ability to navigate. Even Google loves this stereotype, tossing back an impressive 75,200,000 hits when we typed in "women can't park."
Then there are the supposed differences in the ways women and men get from one parking spot to the next, a practice often referred to as "driving." According to the Hollywood formula, men navigate by compass directions and a stubborn refusal to ask for directions ever, while women get from here to there by using landmarks, a winning smile and a little leg. Tell a woman to turn north, then east and then north again and every sexist comedy writer we polled here at Cracked agreed she'd get turned around faster than a frog in a blender. So, if this ridiculous stereotype were true, then Mother Nature has given men a serious edge in the "getting around" department. But that can't be right, because the decade of the 70s promised us that Mother Nature doesn't favor people based on race, sexual orientation or whether or not there are dangly parts between their legs.
What Science Says: Several studies have shown that heterosexual men are better at both navigating by north-south directions and at orienting themselves in three dimensional space than women. Why did men win the spatial perception jackpot? No, the answer isn't sex this time, it's food. Well, actually, it's both.
In the days before grocery stores and mini malls, mankind had to actually go hunt and gather for his daily mammoth chops. Scientists think that testosterone helped early men find their way home again after a long day of hunting, ensuring that they were the ones impregnating their mates and continuing their line while the spatially challenged became saber tooth tiger snacks. Not only that, but one researcher actually scanned the brains of over a million kids and found that by age four, the boys were already surpassing the girls in spatial ability by a ratio of 4:1. She also found that while girls did just fine at seeing two dimensions in the brain, boys had the ability to see a third dimension, allowing them to understand the concept of depth at an earlier age. And yeah... the same isn't necessarily true for gay men, who tend to navigate like women. Literally. That was not an insult.
#5.
Men Are Freaking Slobs
If detergent commercials have taught us anything, it's that the female nose is so highly evolved that it can pick out the stench of sweaty gym socks from a thousand paces. And once she has the scent in her delicate nostrils, a real woman cannot rest until the malodorous insult has been found, eliminated and replaced with a Linen Tides Breezy Cotton Fluff-n-Fresh (Now With Real Strawberries!) scent. Their men, meanwhile, can wear the same sweat-stained T-shirt for a week, and will let garbage pile up in the kitchen until somebody calls the health department. But that's loco right? It's like saying women were predisposed toward cleaning up after men or something, which is totally whack.
What Science Says: Women really are better sniffers than men. This is despite there being no physical differences between the male and female nose or the number of receptors they have. Not only are women better at detecting smells, but studies have also shown that women use a bigger chunk of their brains when processing smells than men do.
So why the difference? What biological reason can there be for your mom to be able to detect your sweat soaked socks through a closed door? The same reason that she was able to detect your dad's horny musk: sex. And though women generally detect all odors better, their noses really won the stink jackpot by having the knack for detecting male body odor. Why? It seems that locked in that sweaty stench are chemical markers that can tell a gal when a fella is sexually aroused, even without her knowing it. Plus a woman's superhuman sense of smell is at its peak just as she's ovulating. So what does this mean for you? Forget Ax body spray. If you want to get laid, you need to smell like you've been watching porn in a sauna. #4.
Women Are Wimps
This is as basic as stereotypes get. Guys are bigger and stronger and traditionally are thought of as the more badass of the sexes. Women are frailer, smaller and prone to the sniffles at the slightest injury. The one exception, of course, is childbirth, when even the weakest woman is an Amazon warrior when it comes to tolerating labor pain that would make a grown man whimper like he just took a paintball shot to the nuts. So call a woman frail, and she'll reply that if men had to give birth, the human race would have died out a long time ago.
What Science Says: Women do have a lower pain threshold, but it has nothing to do with toughness. Men simply don't feel pain the same way women do, and what they do feel, they feel a lot less of. Women have more pain receptors in their skin for starters, amplifying their exposure to aches and pains. Researchers believe it might be tied to the presence of GIRK2, a nifty little protein that not only affects pain threshold, but how well morphine and other painkillers work to block the pain once it's been inflicted. The next time you tell your girlfriend to walk off that cramp she got trying page 46 of the Kama Sutra with you, try to show a little compassion, she may just have less GIRK2 than you. Ultimately, a woman's body can require more than double the amount of painkiller to get the same amount of relief.
The exception is when they are pregnant or have just delivered a baby. Endorphins and a cocktail of other feel good chemicals build up over the pregnancy, ensuring that mom can deal with the delivery and likely explaining the real reason expectant women have that special glow.
So, to recap, yes women have crazy strong pain thresholds right around childbirth, but any other time of their lives their capacity to endure pain is far less then men's, due to the way their nerves are wired up. Either way, be nice when her lady-days come. |
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LMAO!!! Sex musk and saunas!
lol@all the butthurt pseudo-scientists
Who the f**k reads cracked for the info/facts?
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Great, just because I'm a chick I can't drive? I beg to differ. You might as well bring in the racist jokes, or I'm sorry, the "scientifically proven stereotypes".
Regardless if this article was written by a chick.
"Great, just because I'm a chick I can't drive?" - SpecOpsDoll
No, she's saying that women tend to be less skilled drivers, not that every single woman is incapable of driving. You're taking what she said WAY too literally.
That would be like saying ALL women are stupid just because YOU are. Faulty logic.
A fine example of #3.
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This article eats science for breakfast and s**ts out pseudo-scientific babble like nobody's business.
Where to even begin?
#6 - Spatial abilities aren't believed (by most) to be totally innate or biologically driven (nature versus nurture and all that). The article cited as a reference gives no information about the study itself and the study doesn't seem to have been published in any scholarly journals. It's likely the reason it's so obscure is because it was flawed.
5# - Seems to be true (that women have a better sense of smell), but what the REASON is for women having a better sense of smell is unknown. All this "so she can smell a horny man" business is mere speculation. (Afterall, there may not be a reason.)
#4 - Some other commenters have pointed out what I was going to.
#3 - The whole thing about women's brains having larger this or thicker that is really old news. In fact, the study cited was from the mid-90s. The reason the author didn't find a newer study that says something similar? Because no one cares anymore. Because having a larger brain bit doesn't necessarily correlate with having super-powers of language or logic or whatever else. And because nearly every methodologically sound study done on language has actually found that MEN do more of the talking (as well as more of the interrupting), if there is any gender-based discrepancy at all that is. Women talk more with certain groups (peers, children, etc), but overall men blabber slightly more. The reason has more to do with power than anything (women talk like subordinates; the same holds true for employees speaking with bosses, and for some minority groups).
#2 - True. Most women do have better color vision than men. It's easy to see why...and it has nothing to do with berry-picking (in fact, they explained why before they got to that bizarre just-so-story that, when you think about it, makes no f**king sense).
#1 - True (generally speaking). It takes less beer for a woman to get drunk. Which is good for women. They can get drunk for cheap, and without all the other unhealthy stuff that comes along with getting drunk (less fat, fewer calories, etc). The only reason I imagine that anyone would WANT to be able to drink their f**king weight in alcohol would be because they're a sad little frat-boy who wants to impress his equally sad frat-buddies.
This comment rapes science for fun and then takes a dump of stupid all over its' chin.
Actually that comment was more accurate than the article. As a neurologist, misinformation usually leaves me sighing and then finding the need to set people straight (this usually only applies to common psychological errors people make, but in this article the first three things posted were factually inaccurate). Thankfully, this poster addressed those points, so I don't have to. Though, if you have heard of any legitimate newer studies which disprove those facts, I'd be interested to hear about them.
Last time I checked, I was a woman. *looks down panties* Yup, it's a twat.
I can navigate anywhere (except in Boston, which was laid out by a bunch of drunk guys anyway), I can drink most of my male friends under the table, I DIDN'T f**kING NOTICE when I broke my goddamn wrist last year. Seriously. I thought I just pulled a tendon or something. I do have a canine sense of smell and I do notice small variations in color, but I seem to have gotten both traits from my father.
Either I'm secretly a man, or this is bulls**t. :]
"Either I'm secretly a man, or this is bulls**t." - lilninjakitten
False dichotomy. This article was about overall average gender differences, which individual variation in traits does not disprove.
For what it's worth, though, it doesn't help that Sarah put it in such a way as to make it seem like she was referring to "all" even though the point wasn't about "all" at all. Seriously, what the hell Sarah?
women can drive or park for s**t?
where is your your proof that women can't drive? oh that's right you don't have any, which is why our insurance rates are lower.
there's is no stereotype that women can't park, so making that alone the tagline wouldn't have made much sense as a tagline. Suck it.
ha! ive seen it almost on a adaily basis cause women CANT park and CANT drive either! sorry for ya!
He explained it in the article. Back to the kitchen with you now.
this article was written by a woman, killahana
Women's insurance rates are lower because men tend to show off when they're driving... Stuffing your car in to an 18 wheeler whilst going sideways round a roundabout is well worth the extra money... Pootling around in a crappy shopping car at the speed limit (or lower) for a bit less cash, on the other hand, is not worth it.
Don't be so defensive. The only reason that sexual stereotypes against women sting more than those against men is because women tend to let them. We as a gender say just as many things about men as they say about us, but they don't let it bother them. Also notice that this article wasn't all too kind to men in certain areas, but they are not automatically going on the defensive. This is because they believe they are superior (and so do most women, but that underlying insecurity that comes out whenever we are challenged is what causes women to continue to be seen as inferior)
If it makes you feel better. Women do have less accidents. Of course this is because men tend to drive faster and more carelessly on purpose. And just because some women can't do certain things, does not mean that none can. You are right, the evidence for that point is rather nonexistent, but that doesn't automatically mean that women are better drivers, nor does it mean that you need to take such offense.
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May December relationships are becoming more and more hot and attractive. You need to look no further than Hollywood to see the trend. Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins...
Great article... Coming fom a woman.
Nah, just kidding, it's a great article. Women are men are different. I like those differences. Both internal and external.
thanks for backing up my arguement with my wife about the colors of my shirts cracked.... way to go.
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The pain one is interesting. Being around women and talking about tattoos you would think that any woman would start crying and pass out at the mere mention of a needle. However, while getting a tattoo done i asked the artist how many women pass out while he's inking them. Suprisingly he said the only people who ever passed out were men and that women tended to have a higher pain threshold. Maybe its just the type of women who get tattoos though... who knows.
I'm a female and I recently got a tattoo on the right side of my ribcage, ribs being notoriously painful area to get tattooed. Well it didn't hurt very badly, I didn't shed a tear and was in fact smiling and very excited about the experience, it was a large piece took 2 hours. In the same room a big burly guy with his army dogtag tattooed on his chest was getting a tattoo in the same location. He was crying, wincing and in all sorts of pain. I think pain is a complex sensation and a lot of factors go into how people feel it. I don't think that gender is the only variable, and I'm sure there are women in the world with pain tolerances much higher than the average male.
@Gaia: You have an adrenaline rush leadup when you get a tattoo. Try getting hit in the gut with a baseball bat without any warning and then we can talk.
You what, I think men and women are just the same but stand apart physically. All those talk about gender stereotypes and gender wars are just nonsense. Why? I'm a girl who used to love playing streetfighter in the arcade while a bunch of guys where watching me waiting for their turn, when I lost some of them would laugh and their girlfriends laughed at me. But I met some guys who a*****es and women who act desperately pathetic as if there's a shortage of men would rather bad mouth other girls just to keep their man. Yet I met good people as well, you know I've been an outcast all my life and the way I see you're all the same. Because if I'm going to be all patriotic or if I want to prove something I wouldn't do it just because I'm woman, I'd do it because it was my accomplishment and if I'm going to stand up for someone's right I'd do it for everyone. You don't speak of equality just to a select few, then it wouldn't be called equality, this article is so wrng and what makes it worse is that a woman wrote it.
You can f**king quote on me and I will stand by it, I've learned to accept and love men for who they are and I have also learned to love myself as a woman, because I'm f**king human being and I have accepted that and what life is. The only thing that sets me apart is that I am considered Mentally Unstable because I couldn't care what the world turns out and I have beliefs that no one can ever change! AND I MEAN THAT!!!!
It's obvious that what you need in your life is a 23 year old virgin.
Ah, I also thought you were mentally unstable. I'm glad I'm not the only one. And the writer being a woman means nothing. You don't know what equality is, do you?
This shouldn't be called "6 Absurd Gender Stereotypes" but "6 Absurd Stereotypes that men love to believe".
Stop it with the gender attack, you can't divide humanity only as men/women, there are a lot of people who don't fit in the stereotyped role.
this was written by a woman, you pillock.
fail comment.
That's why it's called a stereotype; because more often than not it's true. If you considered every exception to the rule to be proof that the rule is false, science as we know it would still be stuck in the 1600s as nothing could ever be proven.
'Pillock'. Best word ever.
Male and female brains are indeed different as far as speech. Women have speech centers in both halves of their brain, males only have one which is why male stroke victims are often speech impaired as a result while its rare among women. Women do generally speak more than men ON AVERAGE (25,000 words/day v 15,000) but personality is a far greater determinant than sex so the overlap is significant. In mixed groups men will dominate the conversations generally, its a testosterone thing I expect, the Alpha-males trying to show their dominance for the ladies.
I know my PhDed sister cannot back her car for s**t.
I know the pain of smashing a finger with a car door, but when my nurse ex-wife did it, she puked and she was lucky enough to split her nail and bleed. I waited 24 hours to get mine drilled to relieve the pressure.
You need a f**ken car 'lelparked? Grab my crotch and watch me work the S-wheel.
As a gay guy it seems like I am either a 'man' or a 'woman' depending on situation.
Actually, h**osexual male brains are structured in a way almost identical to a woman's brain.
Being female with a superior sense of direction who can read maps & refold them it didn't dawn on me until after my ex came out of the closet that he could get lost turning left twice and made the same connection. Unfortunately I'm not gay so it's the only glitch in the theory though it could well be a case of nurture on the talents I have as I couldn't parallel park to save the planet.