The line between nerd and sports fan is almost invisible when you get down to it: Is there really that much of a difference between a cosplayer wearing a bathrobe and waving a glow-stick at comic-con, and a fat high school burnout wearing a $200 Walter Payton throwback jersey while referring to the Bears in the first person plural? Whedon groupies and Jim Rome's clone army share the same doomed wish. But at least the jocks pine to matter in sports that actually exist. For the rest of us, we can always dream of sports like...
10Dom-Jot (Star Trek)
How the Game is Played:
You hit a ball with the tip of a stick, rolling it along the top of a felt covered table littered with obstructions, impeding the ball's progress and providing targets for the player to hit. The game is essentially a combination of pool and pinball. According to the Memory Alpha wiki, "rolling the terik into straight nines is considered an extremely skilled move." Nobody who has ever actually worked on an episode of Star Trek knows what the fuck that means.
Almost none. It's the "coolest" sport in Star Trek by default, since the only other choice is best represented by this picture:
Will's got his eyes on the prize, as usual.
1.3 out of 10 - It is a silly, silly game. Memory Alpha states games can go for as long as seven or eight hours, and even if you win fair and square, there's still a pretty good chance the loser will be a massive, vagina-mouthed creature that queefs broken sentences like a nightmarish combination of The Hulk and Yoda. He will stab your heart as a reward for winning. I wouldn't try this unless your badass XP is at Picard levels.
9Pyramid (Battlestar Galactica)
How the Game is Played:
I think you're supposed to throw a ball into a board with a hole in it, and you can't move more than three steps with the ball before you have to throw it at a wall or a person. It's played on a triangle shaped court, hence the name. I think. Nobody really knows. None of the rules were spelled out because everyone was too busy drinking and crying and fucking hot robots. It seems to exist mostly so Starbuck can rub her sweaty body all over potential conquests in the greatest example of foreplay by way of sports since the beach sprint from Rocky III.
"I really, really want to play Pyramid."
Well, if you shout "Go Panthers!" at a Comic-Con, maybe, like, four people will shout "C-Bucs Rule!" back in your general direction. Also, Michael Trucco's arms:
2.3 out of 10 - Unless you're Sam Anders, you're really not getting anything out of this game.