It's a scientific fact that you're more likely to buy something if the advertising features someone you'd like to bone, be it a Victoria's Secret commercial or the cover of a box of sexy, sexy Cheerios.
The recording industry knows this, but sometimes forgets that not every musician is suitable for the role of sexy cover model. So, we get unintentionally hilarious/horrifying results like...
19Music to Massage Your Mate By
Really? We're honestly supposed to believe that a massage is all this creepy bastard has on his mind? This album should be called Music to Drug Some Woman You Meet At a Bar So You Can Take Her Home and Chain Her Up in Your Rape Dungeon For Six Months At Which Point You Mistakenly Begin to Believe Has Developed Feelings For You So You Unchain Her and She Escapes and the Police Arrest You and Find Sixteen Skulls Buried Under Your Front Porch By.
And we don't even want to know what's in the "Illustrated Instruction Booklet" that comes with it.
18Rick James - Throwin' Down
Question: Why is Rick James wearing Conan the Barbarian's loincloth, a UFC championship belt, leather studded legwarmers and greased up with a half quart of body oil? All while chilling in a dungeon and wielding a bleeding guitar stolen from Gene Simmons?
Answer: Cocaine is a hell of a drug.