The world probably thinks there's a lot of infighting in America these days, what with Tea Partiers talking about watering the tree of liberty with blood, and the governor of Texas talking about secession.
But the truth is, we're always fighting. Long before and after the Civil War, American states have been pointing guns at each other and screaming ridiculous threats. Just consider...
5The Honey War (Iowa v. Missouri)
It's ludicrous to imagine modern-day Iowa pulling a gun because a neighboring state disagreed about where the border should be. But the 1800s were a different time. For instance, when Missouri decided to resurvey the border with what would soon be Iowa (in a way that would, of course, make Missouri bigger) shit hit the fan.
Missouri sent in a sheriff and tax agents to collect from the settlers in "Iowa," and were met by a pitchfork-wielding mob that chased them back to Missouri. In retaliation, Missouri Governor and professional dumbass Lilburn Boggs, a trigger-happy guy who would later make it legal to kill Mormons, sent the militia to occupy the border. They were met by the, um, eclectic Iowa militia. According to one observer, they were, "...men armed with blunderbusses [basically antique shotguns], flintlocks, and quaint old ancestral swords that had probably adorned the walls for many generations. One private carried a plough coulter over his shoulder by means of a log chain, another had an old-fashioned sausage stuffer for a weapon, while a third shouldered a sheet iron sword about six feet long."
Their sacrifice would inspire this stunning monument.
The Iowans managed to take the Missouri sheriff hostage. Meanwhile, after being beaten by what was the worst-armed cosplay convention ever, the Missouri tax agents figured they'd need to find another way to collect. So, they cut down a bunch of honey bee hives as partial payment to have something to show their bosses.
"I know you were expecting a check, but I figured this would be just as good."
The states appealed to Congress to settle the matter. Congress drew an arbitrary line and told both sides not to cross it, by God, or else Congress would turn the territories around so fast it would make their heads spin.
Don't Make Congress Come Back There!