Commercials are duplicitous. They are designed to elicit the same response from us as a burning fire; our interest level is minimal at best yet we can't tear ourselves from a constantly shifting image. Advertisers do this to protect the absurdity in every commercial, encouraging viewers to watch, but not too intently that reason might step in and say, "What the fuck is going on here?" And ordinarily, we accept it without argument the same way we accept blue raspberry as a legitimate flavor.
This Cracked writer humbly cries bullshit. Commercials have gotten away with this ridiculousness for too long. Their history of deceit is responsible for an entire alternate reality specific only to advertising, one where your friends know more than doctors and pollen genuinely wants to hurt you. The following six are the most egregious.
6Only Women Eat Yogurt
In a shocking display of arrogance, yogurt companies determined at some point that half the population on the planet was no longer a suitable audience for their product. In the commercial universe, men don't eat yogurt, and in some cases, can't even see it.
"I don't understand! Where is food?"
Take a look at this.
Women on the other hand, use the curdled milk as an excuse to get together in the afternoons wearing their hooded sweatshirts and cardigans to talk about how much they fucking love yogurt. They eat it partially because it tastes like Boston cream pie and apple turnovers, and mostly because it makes them shit.
In fact, it turns out women can't defecate without yogurt. The yellow digestion balls in every woman's stomach is directionless before the cultures organize them into an arrow pointing toward the ass.
The yellow balls tasked with shit regulation have forgotten evolution! Does poop escape through the pores?
Women literally need yogurt to live.
Oh, right, the butt. Thanks, Activia.