If there's one thing that drives rock musicians to write music, more than any other subject, it's drugs (and lots of 'em). Shortly behind that, is sex, life on the road, different kinds of drugs, their own balls and how California is, like, totally fake and stuff. Before you get to the end of the list, though, you find good old fashioned revenge and mindfuckery, as was the case with some of these great (and not so great) rock albums.
6Having Fun With Elvis On Stage by. Elvis Presley
Elvis was a live-rocking legend. To this day, people pay good money to see Elvis impersonators. A concert tour has been arranged this very year in which old videos of the King will be projected on to a live stage while musicians play behind him simulating a real performance. If we're willing to resurrect him as a hologram just to get a small taste of what it was like to see Elvis live on stage, it stands to reason that an Elvis live album would be pretty awesome, right? Did you really answer "yes" to that question? Would we even bring it up if the answer was "yes"? Look alive for fuck's sake.
With Elvis, anything can happen.
In 1974, Elvis was smack in the middle of his most prolific touring years, while simultaneously touring the middle years of the prescription pill addiction that ultimately led to his death. It was during this time that his manager, Colonel Tom Parker, was looking for something to sell to the crowds at his sold-out shows beyond the usual trinkets (fake sideburns, those big gold sunglasses, XXXXL sequined jumpsuits, the usual). He finally settled on putting together a live Elvis album. The problem with this plan was that Presley's record company, RCA records, owned the rights to all of the songs in his catalog. Releasing them would require paying royalties out the ass.
This is Colonel Tom Parker. He doesn't like to fuck around.
Fortunately for The Colonel's ass, Elvis was a touring machine, and there was enough recorded material to fill out an album without having to pay royalties. Unfortunately for everyone else's ass, this required the printing and distributing and an album without any actual music on it.
No music for you and Mr. Buttons, little Suzie!
For 37 agonizing minutes, purchasers of the album were forced to listen to the between-song prattle of an aging, drug-addled rocker; stammering stories, jokes with no context and aimless humming with not one single note of a real-live Elvis song anywhere to be heard. It was named the worst rock 'n roll record of all time in a book devoted to the subject, despite containing (and forgive us if we seem to be harping on about this) no actual music. Even Elvis himself came down from his pill-induced stupor long enough to be embarrassed by the very existence of this hunk of vinyl.
It also rose to #9 on the country music charts at the time. If the fact that Toby Keith has a career hasn't convinced you that country music fans will literally buy anything, that last sentence should.