You know how sometimes you watch figure skating and you think, "This would be so much more entertaining if everyone involved was naked"? There are so many sports that just seem long overdue for some kind of modern modification or gritty reboot.
Fortunately, there are a few visionaries out there taking the same, boring old sports and changing them in ridiculous, insane and often life-threatening ways.
Hey, you know what would also improve virtually every sport? Setting the ball on fire.
You don't have to take our word for it. A little bit of lighter fluid and a complete lack of personal safety will give you a rousing game of Fireball.
While a tennis ball is pretty flammable right out of the box, other things like a soccer ball or a bowling ball need a bit of elbow grease to get going.
We should point out that most bowling lanes are made of wood.
But the payoff--and the payoff here being disfiguring burns and possible jail time--is surely worth it. Once you light those babies up, it's tough to appreciate any sport that doesn't involve flaming balls (we're talking about you, gymnastics).
Even if you get sent to the hospital after a game of Tennis Fireball or burn all your fingerprints off dribbling a firebasketball, you can take comfort in the fact that somewhere, Michael Bay is nodding in approval.
That is, if he wasn't too busy with an afternoon of...
Fishing is a sport that captures all the excitement of floating around on a stagnant body of water and holding a stick, which may explain why no one buys tickets to watch it. For the more criminally reckless outdoorsman, however, fishing can become a heroic display of technology and ingenuity triumphing over nature--a phrase which here means "blowing fish up with dynamite".
Utilizing traditional explosives and/or homemade bombs made from artificial fertilizer, blast fishermen locate schools of fish congregating at coral reefs and start lobbing down hellfire like Dresden. The resulting shockwaves either kill the fish outright or temporarily stun them, allowing the fishermen to literally scoop them out of the water by the bucketload.
"Boy, they're really biting today."
Although the practice is illegal the world over (but why?!), it's quite common in certain areas such as Southeast Asia and Africa, and on virtually every backwoods fishing trip where alcohol is involved.