Understand, when we say don't tweet from school, we're not talking about students. You little bastards can do whatever you please. Social Networking is one of the only things making money these days so maybe tweeting your way through Pre Calc is the exact type of training you need for the future.
Instead, we're talking about teachers. Listen up Teach, children are the future (insert shivers down spine here), it's your job to ensure that future is not one that resembles the underrated Mike Judge cult-classic, Idiocracy. The least you could do is lay off the tweeting when you're in class and pay some attention to your flock. And we're sure 99 percent of the teachers out there do. That's more than can be said for some as of yet nameless teacher in Scotland.
This beacon of positive childhood development found time between handing out hall passes and confiscating switchblades to post several derogatory messages about her students on Twitter. A number of those tweets were posted during classroom hours, including these niceties:
"The thought of having some of my S4 beyond exam time doesn't bear thinking about."
"Had S3 period 6 Friday for last two years, usually following two periods prep time. Don't know who least wants to do anything, them or me"
"Have three Asperger's boys in S1 class - never a dull moment! Always offer an interesting take on things."
"Haha, and you say there's no cure for Asperger's? That's great, you're hilarious, keep it up."
We're not sure what S3, S1 or S4 means, but we're guessing it's similar to the metric system in that most Americans don't care to learn anything about it. Of course, once parents got wind of the teacher's lackadaisical attitude toward their presumably asshole kids, they were furious. One parent expressed her outrage thusly, "She is paid a lot of money to do her job and it is unbelievable that she is sitting talking about them on a computer rather than teaching." Highly paid teachers? You foreigners is so crazy!
Alright, so tweeting from Guatemala in general probably isn't a problem, but you may want to limit your activity to details of your previous night's dinner exploits or mourning the death of Billy Mays. For example Twitter user Jeanfer, or @Jeanfer if you're a trendy fuckstick, will have a good long while to think about what happens when you get too comfortable with the idea of Internet anonymity. Check out this saucy tweet...
Seriously! That takes some cojones! What's that? You want us to translate? Jesus tap dancing Christ you're lazy. Fine, it says, "The first action people should take is to remove cash from Banrural, and break the banks of corrupt people #escandalogt." Also, cojones are testicles, or "balls" as the kids like to say.
As for the #escandalogt thing, that is a Twitter hash tag used to identify tweets relating to the assassination of Guatemalan attorney Rodrigo Rosenberg. You see, shortly before his death, Rosenberg posted a YouTube video claiming that then Guatemalan president Alvaro Colom was going to have him killed. Not one to back down from a challenge, Colom did just that (allegedly). Rosenberg was indeed assassinated a few days later. A video of Rosenberg's plea mashed up with a Black Eyed Peas song has yet to be posted, but give it time. Anyway, because Banrural was linked to the scandal that led to Rosenberg's assassination, Jeanfer suggested a run on the bank in an effort to bankrupt them.
In response to the tweet, Jeanfer was subjected to the most efficient criminal justice prosecution in history when he was raided, arrested, sent before a judge and sentenced all in one day. Apparently, recommending a run on banks is a crime in Guatemala, and Jeanfer was sentenced to prison until he is able to pay a $9,600 fine. Never mind the fact that this is more cash than most Guatemalans bring home in a year, what we want to know is exactly how the 37-year-old IT guy is going to scrape together the money while being simultaneously incarcerated.
Or maybe we don't want to know.