Some Questions Only Have Awkward Responses
Winston Rowntree is the author of Subnormality, the popular webcomic which he describes as containing "weird characters, endless opinions and occasionally huge walls of text."
In this installment of his original Cracked comic Abnormality, Mr. Rowntree shows us that sometimes, just having an answer means that you're wrong.
On Twitter? Enjoy watching people stammer? Well, we're conducting an Abnormality-inspired experiment in awkwardness. Your assignment: Ask someone, "So, who's your favorite porn star?" Share their uncomfortable responses on Twitter with the tag #AwkwardPornStar. Try not to get fired.
Check out past updates, in which Winston showed you The Importance of NOT Getting to Know Someone, The Truth Behind Obnoxious Assholes (In Pie Chart Form) and Why Marriage Is Evil. Or travel back to weeks even before those when he showed you Every Album Ever, The Circle of Life for Jocks and Nerds and How To Win At Panhandling.
Do stage names count?
ReplyJust say "I don't know". (Doesn't matter whether you don't watch porn or you watch a lot. You'd give the same answer.) Problem solved.
ReplyThere are people who will talk openly about sexual interests to some people (and some people who will talk about it to anyone), so this doesn't cover the option of "comfortable conversation," which does exist.
ReplyMeanwhile in reality, where everyone isn't absurdly uptight about porn.
Reply*Who is your favorite pornstar?*
Faye Reagan, mmm red hair and freckles
*Dude, vaginal warts...*
No way man! F*** you!
*I'm serious, look it up!*
Oddly enough, I know someone who looks just like her. Which makes things awkward sometimes. Especially when my friend figures out I've been masturbating through our entire conversation.
I can't catch her vaginal warts from masturbating to her, so where's the problem?
My answer is "whichever 18-year-old girl-next-door blonde is taking the creampie. I don't care what her name is."
pusillanimous confesion
ReplyOnly white men watch porn, apparently.
ReplyAnyone who has a favorite porn star needs to get a life.
ReplyPorn stars have names? To have a name you need a SOUL!!!!
Reply(Sai Tai Tiger is my nasty-nasty fav...)
The guy in the pink shirt in the last panel: If men could give themselves blowjobs, the human race would have gone extinct a long time ago.
ReplyNot your joke.
I didn't know they had names.
ReplyThat made me laugh awful hard it did!
My response would either be, "feigned ignorance," "deer in headlights," "skillful changing of the subject," or, "psychedelic non sequitur." If I knew the person well it would be, "pusillanimous confession."
Replyklixen
ReplyMine changes depending on my mood. I like them with some meat on their bones so I'll say Maria Moore.
ReplyJust looked her up...HOLY MOTHER OF MERCY THEY BE HUGE BAZOOKAS!
Rachel Starr. How she B's on a D is unmatched. haha
ReplyFlesh Gordon.
ReplyMy answer would be, i don't know any of their names i just like to watch them f**k =P
ReplyDo you know what? If Winston Rowntree had groupies, I'd be f*****g Pamela des Barres.
ReplyI didn't know that because its a nonsense statement
Is it too hard to answer I dunno, I just masturbate watching that (description input) chick. I would asnwer Stoya. Geez some people complicate the easy parts of life.
ReplyDanni Daniels...Or Bailey Jay.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHAHA I dated Danni Daniels in high school. Good choice. =P
don't know what that makes you
I... was unfamiliar with these act...tresses? But thank you, Pin-Up. Thanks a whole lot for introducing them into my life.
I though it was part of the whole appeal, that you didn't have to pick just one.
ReplyThe intelligence of your comment made my toes curl in mental pleasure. I am going to use that line whenever a discussion about porn comes up. Carry on good sir.