The 5 Circles of Baffling Web Comic Hell

The Webcomic Evangelists

You do not find the run-of-the-mill religious comics wandering this circle of webcomic hell. No, there is certainly no shortage of comics designed to angrily insult people into or out of their religious faith, and while we may disagree with them, at least their message is clear.

But then you have these, the David Lynch-esque comics, seemingly created by feeding the Bible and a stick of dynamite to a goat, and then drawing the bloody aftermath. Do you agree with their message? Disagree? You'll never know. Let's look at a pair of creationist comics from artist Dan Lietha...

#7. After Eden and CreationWise:

Take note of the time. Now stare at the following comic until you think you've got your mind wrapped around its meaning:

Welcome back. If you're like me, about six hours have passed since the last sentence. We know from reading the rest of his site that cartoonist Dan Lietha is a Christian man. But it appears that, from this strip at least, he believes that behind the doors of time lies Cthulhu. And he will eat your Bible.

I don't pretend to understand this man's interpretation of Christianity, but I'm already pretty sure it kicks ass. Let's pull out another one, this is from his other strip, After Eden:

That one took about four hours. I called in sick to work. No, it's not one panel out of a longer story arc. It appears to be a new chapter in the story of Adam and Eve, one where Eve builds a dummy version of herself out of sticks and coconuts so she could either escape Adam, or perhaps lure him into a booby trap for whatever nefarious purpose. Perhaps to eat him.

Then we have this portrayal of the After Eden method of winning over converts:

...which appears to involve rigging your bible with poison darts. "Cain's wife? Sure it's right here in-"

FFFFFTTTTHHHPPP!!!

Ker-plunk!

By the way, this comic is brought to you by the same guys who run The Creation Museum in Ohio. Which kind of makes me want to buy a ticket.

#6. FaithMouse:

Oh-oh. Somebody at their computer monitor just muttered, "Well, religious comics certainly can't get any more confusing than that." Fool! You just uttered the magic words to summon FaithMouse into our dimension.

Study the strip above. Well that... sort of makes sense. Tree of religious liberties, shredded into toothpicks by the godless ACLU and its... Porno Possum lunchbox. So how about...

That's right, sinful world! A new Pope is in town, and he's not going to stop mowing at the boundaries of your lawn, like that old Pope. No, he's going to mow right over your fucking landscaping!

Wait, is this a pro or anti-Catholic comic? Let's find another Pope episode to clarify it for us.

Huh. Is he... saving that sleeping woman? Kidnapping her? By the way, there's a "you'll shit bricks" moment when you realize the gray mass is a crowd of people.

Alright, let's get to the bottom of their stance on Catholicism by taking a look at their comic discussing Obama's controversial visit to Notre Dame:

Huh.





Huh.

Let's... let's just put FaithMouse down and slowly back away...

Far, far away.

Unfortunately, it only gets worse...

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